Yeardley Smith: What I’ve Learned About Love

By Juli Alvarez for eHarmony

yeardleysmithonlove

You might not recognize her face, but you will surely recognize her voice as Lisa Simpson on the now longest running primetime TV show ever, ‘The Simpsons’.  Yeardley is much more than a quirky, beloved cartoon character, she happens to be a very accomplished Emmy award-winning actress, producer, playwright, and novelist.  And ladies, listen very closely because she is also an incredibly talented shoe designer, founder and CEO of Marchez Vous, her fabulous shoe collection that highlights chic, wearability and (gasp!) comfort.

Since Yeardley is an expert in the highs and lows of heel heights, we thought we would talk to her about the highs and lows of love. Here’s what she had to say…

eH: When would you say was the first time you really found love?

Yeardley: I’m a sucker for love. I fall fast and hard! But it wasn’t until I met my second husband that I discovered what everyone was going on about when they would say, “My husband/lover/partner is my best friend.” I’d never had that before. It was amazing when I finally got it, and a large part of why the marriage lasted as long as it did.

eH: Is it more important to love or be loved?

Yeardley: Both are important. But I think it’s more rewarding to give love. Because when you love someone so deeply you can’t put words to it, you get to bask in that sea of limitless joy that makes you feel like the well will never run dry!

eH: What do you think one needs in a partner to make the relationship successful?

Yeardley: Generosity. As in, realize that you get what you give. So, be generous with your laughter, curiosity and understanding – as well as your material abundance.

eH: What do you love most about your life right now?

Yeardley: My life is so rich and full it’s remarkable and hilarious! I seriously marvel at it every day. But I’ve also carefully crafted it that way. For instance, I have work that I love (‘The Simpsons’ and my shoe line Marchez Vous). I surround myself with gorgeous friends. I’m constantly learning, and I raise the bar in all things just for the fun of it.

eH: What does love mean to you now versus 10 years ago?

Yeardley: I think 10 years ago I equated love with security. But they’re not the same. Now love is just one part of my desire to “have it all.” Love is its own entity, ripe with its own risks and rewards.

eH: What is the hardest thing about love?

Yeardley: That sometimes it doesn’t last.

eH: You’ve gone through two divorces. Did that change your perspective about relationships and being in love?

Yeardley: Of course! But it didn’t sour me on love, it soured me on me! My self-esteem was wrecked after my second divorce, but I pulled through with shining colors. I’m one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason. So I treat every perceived setback as an opportunity to actually get closer to who I really want to be. I regret nothing.

eH: How do you think being a public figure has affected your ability to find love and be loved?

Yeardley: People usually Google me before the first date – which, in turn, leads to some preconceived notions about me before we meet. But I have confidence in who I am and what I bring to the party – and you can’t find it all on Google! So I don’t mind.

In terms of being known and being loved…I don’t think my being a public figure has any more, or less, to do with the success (or failure) of my relationships than any other dominant aspect of my life. I consider my fame an asset. After all, it’s given me some extraordinary opportunities in life. Strangers welcome me wherever I go. How could that be anything other than wonderful? But I realize it also means that whoever I’m with must be game for that kind of attention and scrutiny on some level, too.

eH: Why do women have such a strong love affair with shoes? Where does yours come from?

Yeardley: There’s so much fantasy associated with women’s shoes. Remember what they said about Ginger Rogers? “She does everything Fred Astaire does, but backwards and in high heels.” That is sexy, accomplished, glamorous, powerful and elegant. I don’t know one woman who doesn’t want to feel that way about herself!

eH: What advice would you give those struggling with self-love – and those who are still looking for love?

Yeardley: I think it’s interesting that “struggle” and “self-love” are often in the same sentence – it can only mean we’re going about it the wrong way! My #1 goal is to be happy. And that happiness is a big, beautiful puzzle with lots of moving pieces! A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders the day I realized I can be happy and still want change in my life. It taught me to live in the present.

As to those looking for love – Oy! I’ve so not mastered this! But I’d say if love is important to you, you won’t rest until you find it. And, of course, the happier you are with yourself, the more attractive you’ll be to others. It’s a win-win!

Learn more about Yeardley’s fabulous Marchez Vous!

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