We took a truck load of eHarmony men to the nearest sports bar, drank Shiner Bock beer and ate chicken wings for two hours, and then talked about what makes a woman sexy. Here’s the list from our band of regular guys.
Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy. There’s something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation. Please don’t confuse playful with silly. Silly women who are clowning for attention are vexing. In fact, one man suggested that playfulness is a great sign of maturity – a woman who loves life and isn’t ashamed to show it.
We had a solid discussion about what this means, and the standards were all over the map. Most every man agreed that a beautiful woman a) dresses in a way that flatters her figure b) puts effort into grooming and c) cares how men perceive her, even if the end result is very laid back and simple. There were few absolutes, except to say that a woman who thinks that going to the effort to look nice is somehow beneath her probably won’t be sexy to our test group.
She's a Grown-Up About Things Related to Sex
Some men were comfortable with sex only after marriage. Some men were comfortable with it much earlier in the relationship. But all the men wanted a woman who is comfortable talking maturely about sex when the time is right.
She Likes and Understands Men
You might say, “Don’t all women who are dating like men?” Not according to this group. Women who know how men function and love them for it are very sexy. There’s something about giving a man the rope he needs to pursue his passions that makes a woman irresistible.
It is hard to overestimate the impact of a physical connection to most men. A woman who understands this and gives affection freely is very sexy.
She Knows How to Say "Thank You"
Whatever your personal policies, early dating for most men is a time when they are spending money and making plans to arrange a nice evening. Our men greatly valued a woman who was able to say, “That dinner was fantastic,” and appreciated the work that went into planning the evening. A woman who has a spirit of gratitude signals to a man, “You can make me happy,” which is a primal component to attraction.
She's Willing to Bend the Rules
A woman who has rules, respects the rules and can still say, “This weekend the rules don’t matter,” is very sexy, and rarer than you might think according to our band of brothers. It’s this “partner in crime” mentality that men seem to find irresistible.
She's Willing to Set Aside Her Fear
It isn’t being fearless that is sexy. It’s having the fear, feeling the fear, and saying, “I’m going to set this aside and go forward anyway.” That woman is sexy. She is truly living life. She is going to suffer some failures along the way, but men will be chasing her and asking for her number the whole way.
She's a Great Kisser
Every guy considers himself putty in the hands of a woman who knows how to give a great kiss. It can take a woman’s sex appeal from 0 to 10 in 30 seconds.
She Likes to Laugh (at His Jokes)
Humor often comes up as a valuable trait, but it can be misleading. Men aren’t interested in women who crack jokes every other sentence. In fact, when he says he wants a woman with a great sense of humor he’s usually saying “I want a woman who thinks I’m funny.” Not surprisingly, when she does think he’s funny and laughs out loud he finds that very sexy.
In all the years, after all the articles, these are the ten best bits of advice I’ve ever given to men who are out there dating women.