The Heart of Valentine’s Day

By eHarmony Advice Host Kate

The Heart of Valentine's Day

While contemporary Valentine’s Day traditions all over the world celebrate love at its most romantic, it all began with love at its most self-giving. St. Valentine was even said to have given up his life for the greater good. While that’s a bit dramatic, self-giving in all its forms is ultimately what makes love so powerful and enjoyable: seeing someone’s eyes light up, knowing that you recognized them and how happy you made them. What is more satisfying than being the “Cupid” whose love-arrow hits the bulls eye in fulfilling the desire or need of another? Whether or not you’re in a relationship, you can celebrate Valentine’s Day by giving of yourself.

If You’re Single

When you’re single, an array of Valentine’s Day options awaits you. You can do something for others on a more altruistic scale like giving of your time, energy and resources at a local charitable organization. Think of a cause that really tugs at your “heart strings.” Participate in a walk-a-thon, an art sale, or a nursing home event.

On a more interpersonal scale, you could think of the individuals in your life who have needs or desires great or small. Bring some brownies you baked to a friend who just went through a break up. Babysit for a couple you know and make a Valentine’s Day treasure hunt for their kids. Throw a Valentine’s Day party for your neighbors. Give personalized homemade or store bought Valentines to your co-workers.

While giving to others is a great distraction, don’t forget another important person in your life who may have needs or desires – yourself. Treat yourself to a great new outfit, watch a game at a local sports bar or do the spa day thing. If you’re feeling the “singles-awareness”, take action to get yourself out there – join eHarmony, visit a coffee shop and start a conversation with a cutie. 

If You’re on eHarmony

As Valentine’s Day approaches, you may be communicating with some great prospects, or a few that seem lukewarm, or none at all.

Whatever your situation is, you still have opportunities to “give of yourself.” One option, if you’re up for it, is to ask one of your matches out for Valentine’s Day. Even if you’re in the early stages of communicating, you can still make it a special day by getting to know a new person. It doesn’t have to mean that your date is going to end up being the love of your life. It may just be a way for two people who are still searching to enjoy time together on Valentine’s Day. Find out what your match is interested in and offer a kind gesture to recognize them. Try to keep it fun and light.

If you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, why not just write a Happy Valentine’s Day message to all of your matches on your About Me page? Anytime you edit your About Me page, your matches will be prompted to view your profile in their Match Updates. Spread the love and make them smile with your well-wishes. And then go out and give of yourself. Searching for a long-term partner can take time. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Having a Valentine’s Day date isn’t the end-all-be-all.

If You’re in a Relationship

Instead of worrying about “meeting expectations” for the romantic day, take a little bit of time and energy to think of what you can offer your sweetheart to really recognize their personal affinities, even if they differ from yours. Maybe you’ve been hoping to watch your romantic comedy DVD set…but your partner would rather go hiking. Then go hiking together and save the Meg Ryan marathon for another day. Or maybe you’ve been saving to buy that expensive tennis equipment, but it’s the last night that your lover’s favorite Broadway musical will be in town. Or do something smaller – take out the trash, or write a love note letting them know how dashing they look that day.

You get the idea. Share your real heart and have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

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