So many clients of mine want to know how to find “the one” who will fill that emptiness in their hearts. They’re desperate to have the happily-ever-after fairy tale love they grew up believing was possible. But after months and often years of searching for that special someone, they’re frustrated and disappointed with what’s shown up (or not) in their love life. What gives!? Why do I have such bad luck?
What Spirit has communicated to me time and again is that finding fulfilling love is not a matter of luck, but rather a matter of universal law. The Law of Attraction affirms that the “energy” we put out there comes back to us, so when we suffer from low self-worth or a lack of self-love, we can pretty much guarantee that we’ll attract partners who mirror the same unhealed patterns.
To attract healthy love and the fulfilling relationship we want and inherently deserve, we must take responsibility for our own energy and heal ourselves from the inside out.
1. Plug In. When you rely on another person to be your energy supply — that special someone who lifts and fills you up — you create unrealistic and unfair expectations that inevitably drain your partner and often dissolve the relationship. We must each plug into our own energy source — our Spirit Within — for infinite and unlimited energy rather than waiting for “Mr. or Ms. Right” to complete us.
2. Be Your Best Self. People feel drawn to you when you’re radiating love and light, so engage in activities on a regular basis that bolster a strong sense of self-love and self-worth. Exercise, a healthy diet, spiritual practices like prayer and meditation and pursuing your innate talents will make you more attractive on both a spiritual and physical level.
3. Choose Love. Every time you think a thought, say something out loud, react to someone, or take action in a situation, make the choice to be loving. If we want to attract love, we must also be love.
4. Focus on the “What” and “Why”, Not the “Who.” What does a fulfilling relationship feel like? Focus on the feeling this person will give you and why you so desire it and then surrender the details, that is — what he or she looks like, does for a living, etc. Set the intention to attract loving feelings and then be open to whoever shows up at your door.
5. Visualize. Every day, take a few minutes to visualize love coming into your life. See it to believe it.
6. Believe It. When you believe love will show up, you remove all resistance that’s been standing in your way. What you believe becomes your reality.
7. Take Action. Thoughts are powerful, but taking action really puts love into motion. Love may come knocking on your door, but you increase the likelihood of meeting that special someone faster when you put yourself out there.
8. Act As If. Even before you get a phone call, feel grateful ahead of time that love has entered your life. Try saying; “Thank you for the love of my life, in my life now.” When we act as if, we attract people and experiences to us that match and support our thoughts, words and actions.
9. Live in balance. While dating may be a priority for you right now, be sure to also spend time cultivating all areas of your life (career, family, friends, your physical and emotional health).
10. Receive it. It’s one thing to ask for love. It’s another to receive it. Imagine placing your order at a restaurant and then getting up and walking away from the table. You won’t be there to enjoy your food when it arrives! So sit back and stay in a receptive state. Love is on the way!
Rebecca Rosen is a spiritual medium and New York Times best-selling author. Her brand new book, Awaken the Spirit Within: 10 Steps to Ignite Your Life and Fulfill Your Divine Purpose, is available now! Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.