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Suzanne Somers: What I’ve Learned About Love

By Guest Contributor Paulette Cohn for eHarmony Advice

Suzanne Somers: What I've Learned About Love

Suzanne Somers became a household name when she starred on “Three’s Company,” but these days the New York Times bestselling author of Bombshell is better known for her brand promoting healthy living, medical breakthroughs and a better lifestyle.

Somers has written more than 20 books on topics from anti-aging, health and hormones, to weight loss — all of which have the end goal of helping people feel Sexy Forever. The non-acting aspect of her career, which turned her into an entrepreneur, began back in the ’80s with her involvement with Thighmaster and grew from there. Somers since has drawn upon her personal experiences and research for the material she writes about in her books. Keeping it personal has built the California-born businesswoman a tremendous fan following.

And one of the areas she doesn’t shy away from discussing is her 35-year marriage to Alan Hamel. Who better to turn to for her thoughts on the subject of love?

eH: Do you think there is a connection between health and love?

Suzanne: Yes…definitely. If you are unwell, you are distracted by health issues and cannot give 100 percent to those you love. If men are not in great shape their intimacy suffers, they may lose confidence and in extreme cases, their most important love relationship shatters.

eH: What do you love most about your life now?

Suzanne: My children and grandchildren are creative and contributing and love their Zannie (that’s me). My husband and life partner of many years turns me on big time. I am satisfied by my work, which these days involves writing (just published my 23rd book) and lecturing here and abroad. At 65, I am still relevant and able to put in 60 hours a week. I like being a productive member of society. I love going to bed knowing I will enjoy eight hours of blissful and healthy restorative sleep with my lover. I have made my life exactly what I dreamed of as a child; satisfying, peaceful, productive with great love in my life.

eH: Is it more important to be loved or to love?

Suzanne: All that matters is who you love and who loves you; it’s not about who you are or what you have or what you do. It’s only about love.

eH: What is the hardest thing about love?

Suzanne: Sharing yourself and your life. Compromising in fairness. Making bilateral decisions rather than unilateral decisions all about me.

eH: When would you say was the first time you really found love?

Suzanne: December 18th, 1968, I walked into ABC television in San Francisco and instantly fell in love with Alan Hamel, who was hosting a game show for ABC; I was the prize model. I called my mother that day and told her I met the man I would marry. It took 10 years, but it happened and here we are 44 years later, more in love and more passionate and very grateful for that magic moment in 1968 when the birds started to sing their little heads off.

eH: What does love mean to you now versus 10 years ago?

Suzanne: Love is an amazing emotion. At the beginning, it’s crazy hot. You can’t stand being away from each other. Each year that follows, brings layers of additional powerful feelings that continue arming the foundation with deeper commitment and a different kind of inexplicable intimacy that is the mother’s milk of great love.

eH: Did becoming a mother deepen your ability to love?

Suzanne: I was a teenage mother. When they pulled my son from my body and placed him in my arms, I instantly fell in love, looked into his tiny shiny eyes and said aloud, “I promise to make a good life for you.”

eH: What advice would you give to those struggling with self-love – and those who are still looking for love?

Suzanne: First love yourself. Do the work. Tell yourself the truth about yourself.  If you can truly and honestly look at the part of yourself that you’d never want anyone to know about, then you will finally be able to begin the process to self-love. If you can tell another person about that part of yourself, then you are really on your way to true happiness.

eH: How do you think being a public figure has affected your ability to find love and be loved?

Suzanne: I’m one of the “odd” ones…I love being a public figure. I have never found a downside, even when it’s crappy. Big deal, the paparazzi are chasing me! I mean, really! It’s a privilege. I spent my early years with no one chasing me or wanting my picture. This is way more fun. Plus…I was lucky in finding love many years before I became a public figure. There’s the misunderstanding of the word love as in “I love Lady Gaga” or “I love George Clooney” or “I love potatoes.” Obviously, that kind of love is not equitable with deep, passionate committed love.

Image courtesy: Getty

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