Seven Habits of Highly Effective Singles

By eHarmony Staff

Seven Habits of Highly Effective Singles

Watch your dating life soar as you incorporate these productive practices of highly successful singles.

Lots of singles want to know the “secret” to being a successful and popular dating partner. Of course, there is no formula for creating world-class charisma, no pill that will give you a magnetic personality, and no magic wand to make you instantly irresistible.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that dating success comes from consistently incorporating positive attitudes and actions into your lifestyle. These are “healthy habits” that ensure you become the most attractive person possible—and boost your chances of finding a fantastic partner. To be a highly successful single, start with these productive practices:

1. Keep growing and moving forward. There is something extremely enticing about people who have identified their purpose in life, work hard to cultivate their abilities, and have goals they’re moving toward. When people are passionate about where they’re going in life, we want to go with them. You will be far more captivating to the opposite sex by continually growing, developing, and moving your life toward a grand goal.

2. Be proactive, not passive. Many men and women want love, a relationship, and marriage — but they don’t do much to make it happen. If you want to find a partner, you’ve got to be proactive and persistent. Patience may indeed be a virtue, but when it comes to finding the love of your life, so are guts and gumption.

3. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks. Some people have no problem meeting, greeting, and forming new relationships. Others have a much tougher time pushing themselves “out there” socially. They must summon their courage, swallow their anxiety, and plunge into social settings. If you tend to be reserved and restrained, there’s no point in trying to remake yourself into an outgoing, life-of-the-party type. Be who you are — but be prepared to push yourself.

4. Accentuate your God-given assets. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses that they bring to a potential relationship. The trick is to maximize your assets and minimize your liabilities. Look for ways to develop and utilize your talents; likewise, try hard to curtail your shortcomings. The aim is not perfection—the aim is to reach your full potential.

5. Operate from a position of strength and security. Self-confidence is contagious, and self-assurance is highly attractive. You’ll boost your odds of finding a partner if you become convinced deep down that you have a lot to offer. Believe the best about yourself and your future.

6. Become a skilled communicator. There is an art to communication — and these days, it’s largely a forgotten art. The most average-looking person can be wildly attractive by becoming adept at listening, empathizing, asking questions, and making the other person feel completely understood and accepted. This is a kind of genius that can be learned.

7. Remain steadfastly optimistic. Not only are upbeat, hopeful people more enjoyable to be around, but they also make for far better romantic partners over the long haul. Dozens of research studies have demonstrated that positive people are likely to achieve more goals, handle stress more wisely, overcome depression more quickly, and manage problems with far greater effectiveness.

You don’t need to rely on luck or an elusive secret. When you have sound, sensible guidelines to live by, you can count on dating success.

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