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How to Get a Big, Fabulous Life

by eHarmony Staff

How to Get a Big, Fabulous Life

Welcome to the New Year, also known as The Year of You. That’s right, my fabulous friends. This is your year to live a big, fabulous life. And your first order of business? Throw out any resolutions you may have made on New Year’s Eve. You heard me. Throw them out right now. The truth is, resolutions are made to be broken. This year, you’re not so much making resolutions as you are grabbing life by the horns and holding on for dear life as you shake, rattle, and roll your way through your most fun and fabulous year yet! Here’s how…

Be Clear About What You Want… and Then Go for It!

The key to living a big, fabulous life is to first be clear about what you want. Ready for a job change? Want to go back to school? Serious about finding someone special this year? Regardless of what your goal is, you can achieve it as long as you’re clear about what you want and then commit yourself to pursuing it. That means not only setting big and/or small goal(s) for yourself but also dedicating time to going after what you want — and not just in January when motivation strikes. To really get what you want, you have to be consistent throughout the year, even in the face of adversity. When faced with obstacles like a difficult boss, a grad school rejection, or any kind of dating disappointment, instead of letting that derail you use it as motivation to keep going. And give thanks for the temporary challenges you face along the way, as they make your victories even sweeter.

Task #1: Write down a least one goal you want to achieve this year. Then make a list of the steps you need to take to get there. Start incorporating these steps into your routine.

Get Out of Your Own Way

Be honest. How many times in your life have you set a goal for yourself and then consciously or unconsciously sabotaged your efforts? For example, maybe you wanted to lose weight but somehow that gym membership you signed up for in January went unused during the year. And those Girl Scout cookies you were going to share at the office? They didn’t last very long in your freezer, did they? This year, your key to success is to get out of your own way. Take a look at the goal(s) you set in Task #1. Instead of taking the long and meandering route full of excuses and unnecessary roadblocks, do yourself a favor and sidestep any roadblocks you put up. If, for example, your goal is to meet someone special this year, then you’re going to need to do more than just sit on your couch watching “Grey’s Anatomy” and wondering where your McDreamy is. To get out of your own way, you may just need to become a more active online dater, sign up and attend singles events on a regular basis, and put yourself in target-rich environments as often as possible. You won’t always net successful results, but at least you’ll be getting out of your own way and consistently pursuing your goals and dreams.

Task #2: Make a list of possible ways you might sabotage your efforts this year. Now make a list of what you can do to get out of your own way and achieve your goals. By getting clear about what NOT to do, you’ll be better equipped to see your way to success.

Put Yourself Out There

Let’s face it. If we could get exactly what we wanted by expending the least amount of effort possible and generally sitting on our butts, we’d all have six-pack abs, perfect partners, and hefty bank accounts — all while consuming pizza, chocolate, and bottomless margaritas while a “Sopranos” marathon runs on A&E. But until that utopia exists (keep dreaming!), we have to work for what we want. And when it comes to living your big, fabulous life this year, you’re going to have to put yourself “out there” to achieve maximum results. Looking to launch your own idea, product, or business? Then you’ll want to immerse yourself in entrepreneurship, networking, and brainstorming. Ready to buy your first home? It’s time to enroll in Real Estate 101 and find the right realtor and lender to help you make your dreams a reality. It’s not just about talking the talk. It’s about walking the walk. So pull on those walkin’ boots and start struttin’!

Task #3: Write down at least three ways you can put yourself “out there” in pursuit of your goals this year. Start putting your list into action.

Be Realistic (i.e., Don’t Get Discouraged)

Okay. You’ve become very clear about what you want. You’ve committed not only to getting out of your own way, but to putting yourself “out there” on a regular basis. Now what? The next step in your pursuit of your big, fabulous life is to be realistic about your results. It’s important to remember that it won’t always be smooth sailing. Bumps in the road are a natural part of going after what you want. And when the going gets tough, you can’t give up. Instead, you need to hunker down, regroup, and emerge stronger than ever. For example, in your pursuit of Mr. or Ms. Right you might meet a few flakes, jerks, or players. You might even experience what feels like a dating drought or a never-ending stream of bad dates. That doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel and swear off the opposite sex altogether. It just means that you might need to take a little break from dating, revisit/refine your goals, and come out with renewed confidence and an open mind.

Task #4: When faced with adversity, write down your frustrations and then work to find solutions. It may take some time, but you’re more likely to succeed if you can identify how to overcome obstacles and implement solutions.

Ultimately, the key to living a big, fabulous life this year is to create a life that you are head over heels in love with. That means setting realistic and exciting goals, going after them with guts and gusto, and weathering any setbacks along the way with the resilience of a seasoned pro. By creating a life you love, you tap into the Law of Attraction and that only brings more happiness, opportunity, and good fortune your way. Here’s to The Year of You. May it be your best year yet!

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