After years of helping women create fulfilling, lasting relationships with men, I’ve discovered something interesting that could be very helpful for you: One of the main reasons a woman will have difficulty sustaining a relationship with a man is that she starts off without really knowing what it’s like for a man…to be a man! Let me explain…
THE EMOTIONAL BUT IMPERMEABLE MAN
Read these two statements carefully, and think about them for a little bit:
He’s a solid rock for you to lean on, but he’s also sensitive and can cry. He’s able to fully express his feelings with you, but he won’t let emotions cloud his judgment.
Sounds like a dream guy, right? But do you see the paradox in both of these statements above? I hope so. Because expecting that a man meet that kind of criteria is exactly what can lead to disappointment for you. A man – a real man – doesn’t come packaged like that. Yet that’s what men are often up against: The expectation that we be capable of BOTH fully accessing our feelings AND fully able to deny our feelings in order to be what society might deem “manly.” This is what I call the “Emotional But Impermeable Man.” And he doesn’t exist – at least not in real life.
WHAT YOU NEED…AND WHAT HE CAN DELIVER
With lots of men, they’ve been taught or “conditioned” that consistent, emotional, and intense displays of interaction are actually a sign of weakness…even though this couldn’t be further from the truth.
While women, on the other hand, seem to have a natural understanding of the beauty and the power of emotional connection…and they are often valued and encouraged for their “emotional intelligence” and ability to relate, share, and understand.
What does this mean? That’s right: An inevitable disconnect between what’s real and what a man can actually deliver…and a breeding ground for all sorts of dating disappointment if you don’t understand and ACCEPT what a man is and isn’t truly capable of in relationship.
GETTING REAL…AND RECEIVING LOVE
Does this mean you should shortchange yourself and what you really want in a relationship? No, it means that you just need to shift your thinking a little so you can create a dream relationship…together. Just understanding that it’s virtually impossible for one human being to be BOTH impermeable and emotional will go a long way for you – a man will automatically feel more at ease with you, and you’ll in turn motivate him to be a better partner for you. Understand that he might be a sensitive type, but that means you might need to be the more levelheaded one during stressful moments. Or the opposite: If he’s a take-charge kind of guy, he might have a harder time expressing his feelings.
Does this mean you’re settling? No, it means you’re being real. And because of that, you’ll have a much easier time of attracting and keeping a connected, lasting, REAL relationship – one you both feel fulfilled and happy with.
Understanding attraction and how it works is absolutely critical if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with a man. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to for the long term, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He’ll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.