Deepak Chopra: What I’ve Learned About Love

by eHarmony Staff

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Deepak Chopra, the famous author of many works including his latest, God, A Story of Revelation, shared his unique insights on one of life’s most important subjects – love. Read on for his thought-provoking quotes on romance, relationships and true love.

Love is not just a sentiment. Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.

Any relationship that’s based on need is doomed for failure. And any relationship that is based on playfulness leads to ecstasy.

When you have the intoxication of love, your body makes dopamine, opiates, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones are not only antidepressants, and induce a subjective sense of euphoria, but they’re also immunomodulators. They modify, modulate, and fortify your immune system, so you’re a much healthier person. When people are experiencing either the giving or receiving of love, their body starts to self-regulate and restore homeostasis, which means that all your body systems are performing at a peak level.

Our meaning and context in life come from relationships. In the absence of relationships, we don’t even exist.

A bad relationship is one in which there is controlled manipulation, where people need constant approval and reinforcement that they are liked or loved — in other words, where there is a lot of insecurity.

It would be a big loss to not have a romantic bond, because the romantic bond sparks a different kind of energy in us. It’s an important aspect of love. Love has many flavors, but one of them is romance, which of course includes sexuality.

When you’ve found someone, identify the qualities in them that you find attractive, and then display those same qualities yourself. In other words, don’t borrow their energy, but become their energy.

It’s my understanding that our spirit or consciousness outlives the death of the physical body. So if our consciousness lives on, then so does love.

People who have no relationships are three to five times as likely to die from cardiovascular illness or cancer.

[Couples] have to reassure each other that they’re always there for each other. And they have to make each other feel safe. And that comes by having a common goal and a common commitment to each other. And when people have that, love makes them feel safe, and love actually begins to heal their physical bodies and their emotions.

When you fall in love with somebody, simply write down the traits that you really admire in them and then say to yourself, ‘I will also display those traits.’ And when you do that, you’re no longer borrowing their energy, you’re becoming that energy. And then instead of need, there’s time to play and enjoy.

You can trace all violence to the lack of or having poor relationships, either in childhood or in romantic relationships. I think all the people in the world who commit violent crimes or who are engaged in terrorism at some point experienced a deep lack of love.

When you have the experience of love, either giving it or receiving it, you become magnanimous to the rest of the world. That’s why people in love can do extraordinary things!

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A note from Deepak about his new book:

A long time ago, it seems, life brought revelations. The world was sacred, and anyone could experience a sudden epiphany that led to deep transformation. I’ve wanted to recapture that sense of wonder, and each book I write tries to bring the reader one step closer.

In that spirit I wrote a teaching novel called God: A Story of Revelation.  It tells the story of ten visionaries whose lives were transformed by spiritual revelation, moving from biblical times to the twentieth century.  Some of the characters, like Job in the Old Testament and Saint Paul in the New Testament, will be familiar. I’ve tried to get inside their experience to make it personal for the reader. Other figures, like Julian of Norwich and Giordano Bruno, may be entirely new to you, but all ten weave a tale of intense inspiration. Each epiphany gave God a new face and therefore changed the face of humanity at the same time.

I’m happy to say that God was also the most fun I’ve had writing a new book.  I came to love each character and to be excited by each transformation. This is where the teaching part comes in. Each story is followed by a section on what the message means today. When God speaks to them, people listen. There’s no doubt of that, but they also add something new to everyone else’s experience. Revelation never goes out of date. It only needs to be refreshed for a new generation.

I invite you to look into this fascinating possibility, that God is not about faith, religion, or dogma but about your own hidden potential.  The rewards, I promise, will be surprising and joyous.

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