Most people who have been dating for awhile understand that a first date is about talking. You want to find a quiet spot where you can both share your thoughts, be charming, and see if you connect. That’s most people, because recently I had a female friend, Kate, who ended up on the odyssey below as a first date.
I’d love to hear about some of your challenging first dates.
Stage One – “Hey, let’s meet for a drink at Joe’s pub.”
That sounded like a good idea to her. She knew about Joe’s. It was close to her home, and she could meet this new person there, which is always smart when you’re making a new connection. Of course, when she arrived she discovered that her new romantic interest had invited her on a PUB CRAWL with 13 of his co-workers. “I just thought it would be more fun like this!” he said.
“Kate, meet Michael. He works in procurement. This is John. He is in acquisition marketing, and this is Ella, she manages the IT department.” On and on and on it went. Two random guys from the group hit on Kate, and as they marched from bar to bar she struggled to get a word in with her date.
Stage Two – “Oh my God. I love this band!”
As Kate gamely tried to count her drinks and chug a glass of water for each beer, they continued to roll around the neighborhood invading the bars. The crowd started to thin and she thought she might finally get to talk to her guy, but wait — bar number four has a BAND! A loud band playing Motown. Kate loves Aretha, but now any communication was only happening as a pitched yell, “HEY, SO ARE YOU HAPPY WITH WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE?”
Stage Three – “I thought we were having a good time.”
You can probably guess what happened next. The pub crawl wound back around to the original launch point and Kate was ready to say good night. She had, literally, not had a 2 minute conversation with this man all night. He was a little drunk. She was tired and feeling ridiculous. “Let me walk you to your car,” he said. She declined. He insisted. She agreed. At her car, it wasn’t like he attacked her or anything. He just came swooping in, eyes closed, mouth open, stinking of beer, ready to give her the soul kiss of the century. She ducked, and put her forearm in his chest and he said, “What? I thought we liked each other.” She slammed the car door and made her escape.
Yes, Kate was young. The next time (and there would be a next time with a different guy) she knew enough to say, “How about we have coffee instead?” We all live and learn, but this date will be burned in her brain forever as the worst she ever had.
I can’t wait to hear your stories.
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