Wouldn’t it be a shame if a promising relationship ended over bad texting etiquette? Dating expert and CEO of Dating with Dignity, Marni Battista, shares some basic tips for cell phone use while dating — simple, but so important!
While the cell phone has become the perfect tool for some in today’s modern dating world, it’s become the worst of enemies for others. What’s a person to do without knowing the proper cell phone etiquette for dating?!
For starters, here’s a list of dos and don’ts to make sure you don’t cause him/her to run for the hills or, worse yet, never even get a chance to know how fabulous you truly are.
For men, especially, sending a “How are you?” text once you’re past the early stages of dating is always nice. It can also be great in a relationship to send a quick note letting your guy or girl know you’re thinking about them once it’s established that there is mutual interest (provided you aren’t only going into date number two).
Men who pick up the phone to call a girl once in awhile is a big plus! To ensure you the best chance of standing apart from the crowd, regardless of your bank account or the car you drive, following up after a nice date with “I’ll shoot you a text or something” is not the most romantic thing we’ve heard. If we are interested, “I’ll give you a call” and actually doing it jets you to the top of the list in our book.
Texting is appropriate when you’re setting the time for your plan, making the plan itself, or even confirming a date the day before. Mastering the art of the perfect text can take some time, but with practice you’ll be on your way.
**Both men and women must avoid sending any texts that are longer than one-half inch in length (the length of the top of your thumb).**
Both men and women should avoid playing “hard to get,” mostly because it won’t work if you’re interested in dating someone who is emotionally mature. Look, everyone knows that most people in 2013 keep their phones close. If you’re at work and don’t have time to respond right away, a polite way to let someone know is to simply let them know you’re at work and you’ll respond when you have a moment. Waiting an hour to write back isn’t very nice or productive.
Texting lengthy thoughts about your feelings is a no-go. The real rule here is if it’s longer than half your thumb, it’s TOO LONG. Save conversations that require multiple sentences for an in-person conversation. It’s too easy to misinterpret the tone of your voice from both sides, and it will probably go better if it comes out the way you meant it to!
Patience is a virtue. Get virtuous! In the same way you would want someone to be patient with you if you were busy, let the party on the other end of the phone answer when ready. Multiple texts followed by question marks or constant calling without a response is guaranteed to send you to Lonelytown, population 1. Give someone a little space before freaking out on them, and let them come to you!
Answering your phone, checking your email, taking pictures of your entree for Instagram, taking selfies and/or pics of you and him to put on Facebook on the second date and tweeting your pals about how hot he is are all a NO while on a date.
A good guideline for phone etiquette while on dates is to pretend you’re in a movie theatre. Phone in bag? Check. Phone on silent? Check. Not checking it during the movie for fear you’ll bother people near you or miss something important? Check. Being present while on a date is much more fulfilling than constantly checking for Twitter updates or emails you didn’t really care about anyway. So unless you want your date to turn into a horror film, keep it on the rom-com track and leave your phone in your purse or pocket.
These dos and don’ts for cell phone dating etiquette will more than adequately prepare you for making your dating life and mastery of cell phone etiquette both incredible.