“Women often need to do nothing to promote a sexual encounter. Simply existing in time and space and being naked under their clothes is often enough to trigger approach attempts by men.” -D. Symons

Walk into any bar, coffee shop, bookstore, DMV, etc., etc.: anywhere men and women intermingle, there will be flirting.  The tendency for men and women to flirt with each other is widely accepted (and expected!) as a means of initiating romantic relationships.  Just exactly how we engage each other to communicate our romantic interests, however, allows more room for debate.  Who should make the first move?  Does flirting with someone always mean “I’m interested”?  Does a “one-night stand” flirt differently than someone interested in a long-term relationship?  And, given all the different ways there are to flirt, how much can you really determine about the flirter’s potential?

According to a recent study, you can learn quite a bit, including someone’s personality, attitudes and beliefs about courtship, self-presentation tendencies, and even past relationship behaviors.  Researchers developed the “Flirting Styles Inventory” to identify the individual differences in the communication of romantic interest (Hall, Carter, Cody, & Albright, 2010).  Specifically, they identified 5 distinct flirting styles…

Click here to see what your flirting style says about you.

The post What Type of Flirt Are You? appeared first on eHarmony Blog.

See the two shapes above? Which is a bouba and which is a kiki?

If you are like an estimated 98% of the rest of the world, you would say that the image to the left is a “kiki” and the image to the right is a “bouba.”

In 2001, USCD psychologist Vilayanur Ramachandran presented these shapes to both American and Indian populations. Similar to the original research of this subject (Köhler, 1929; 1947), Ramacharndran found that almost the entire sample responded the same way, in that they assigned the image with the jagged edge as a “kiki”, and the image with the rounded edges as a “bouba.”

Why do most people respond this way?

Presumably, subjects tend to map the name “kiki” onto the figure on the left because the of the sharp inflection in both the pointy drawing and the harsh sound of the word, “kiki.” Similarly, the rounded shaping of the edges of the image on the right makes it more like the rounded auditory inflection of “bouba.” Ramachadran theorizes that the human brain is somehow able to extract abstract properties from shapes and sounds.

Click here to learn more about why this research is important to understanding empathy and how it impacts your relationship.

The post Where does your empathy come from? appeared first on eHarmony Blog.