New research by evolutionary psychologists suggests that tending to fall asleep first after sex is associated with higher desire for bonding and affection from a partner. Participants of this study were asked to answer questions about behaviors between partners after sex. They were asked to indicate “who falls asleep after sex?”, and “who falls asleep first when going to bed but not after sex?”

Participants who had partners that fell asleep first after sex were more likely to have stronger desires for cuddling and chatting. The researchers believe that perhaps falling asleep right away may be a non-conscious way of avoiding any conversation about commitment. Interestingly, there weren’t differences between men and women in who fell asleep first after sex (so we can forget about the stereotype that it’s always women who want to snuggle after coitus).

However, if sex did not take place, women were more likely to fall asleep first. Perhaps men feel that the longer they are awake, the more likely it is they will be able to entice their partner into having sex.

So which are you: A cuddler, or a sleeper? Though the researchers don’t suggest that one is better than another, they do seem to suggest that if you find your partner going to sleep before you have that commitment talk, try bringing it up before getting to the bedroom.

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When I read this, I nearly spit my coffee out onto my keyboard. Women have to wait 25 years in order to finally be optimally satisfied with their sex life?!  Well, no. Heiman and her fellow researchers with the Kinsey Institute are not saying that as soon as 25 years in a relationship hits, women can start enjoying themselves. Rather, they explain that over time, women are becoming more sexually satisfied with their partner, while their partner is becoming happier with the relationship overall. Over time, other factors begin to become more of a priority for both men and women in order to maintain relationship satisfaction. The following findings should also be pointed out (and bolded and underlined and italicized):

• More sexual partners in a man’s history predicted less sexual satisfaction
• For men, relationship happiness was more likely if he reported being in good health and if it was important to him that his partner experienced orgasm
• Frequent kissing or cuddling predicted happiness in the relationship for men, but not for women
• Compared to men, women showed lower sexual satisfaction early in the relationship and greater sexual satisfaction later

To learn more about these findings and what women can be doing NOW to improve their sexual satisfaction, click here.

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