I know you’ve asked yourself this question over and over, “Is using eHarmony going to get me a better relationship?”
At countless dinner parties and social events I’ve had friends and strangers ask me, “I see all those commercials for eHarmony, but are eHarmony relationships really all that different from people who met elsewhere?”
“Yes, eHarmony first dates have a better chance of becoming happy, long-term relationships.”
“Yes, we’ve found that married couples who met on eHarmony are happier, they are less likely to feel their relationship has lost its spark, and they have a low risk of divorce compared to other ways people meet.”
And we know this because solid independent research tells us so.
However you do it, dating can be hard. eHarmony requires effort, time and money. It’s important that you remember this because it reinforces one of the truisms of life: you get what you pay for.
It can be easy to get discouraged when doing the hard work of dating, but knowing about the research cited below can help you be more confident. When you consider eHarmony’s large pool of people, our guided communication process, our scientifically-based matching process and the information below, it’s clear that eHarmony is one of the best places available to meet a great long-term relationship partner.
eHarmony’s Senior Director of Research and Development, Gian Gonzaga, wrote a detailed post in February explaining the particulars of this research.
I want to revisit the findings once more, because it’s so much easier to work hard at something when there is past evidence that it has worked.
More Relationship Satisfaction, based on where you met your spouse
Couples who met on eHarmony or at Church/Place of Worship had roughly the same amount of marital satisfaction — the highest in the study. Work/School was slightly lower in marital satisfaction.
Then, in descending order
These bottom three show significantly lower rates of marital satisfaction than eHarmony and Church/Place of Worship
Less “Loss of Spark” in the Relationship
The study asked married individuals if they felt their relationship had lost its spark. Again, eHarmony couples reported the least loss of spark (LOS). Church/Place of Worship was higher but very similar. Then we have the rest, in ascending order.
People who meet in bars/clubs/social events report the highest LOS of any in the study.
You can read all the details of the divorce segment of the research, as it is a little complex. Here’s the boiled down version.
First, we surveyed a sample of recently divorced people to find out where they met the person from whom they are divorced. Then, since we also knew how many marriages could be attributed to different ways people have met, we could figure out how many divorces we should have expected to see. We divided the first number (actual divorces) by the second number (expected divorces) to come up with a relative divorce risk for each way people could have met.
Here’s what we found. A couple meets:
In a Bar 24.14% higher risk of divorce
Work – 7.61% higher risk of divorce
Social Event – 6.25% higher risk of divorce
Match.com – 4.35% higher risk of divorce
Friends -5.95% lower risk of divorce
Church -11.76% lower risk of divorce
Family -14.81% lower risk of divorce
School -41.07% lower risk of divorce
eHarmony -66.67% lower risk of divorce
In his original post on the matter Gian points out that this data is based on one sample. We don’t know if these results will generalize to all marriages. He points out other limitations, and things that we are working to understand. But given the unknowns, when it is time to make a decision about how you’ll find a spouse this research is important directional information.