Men and women are both equal opportunity offenders in the dating games they play. Most of it is just immaturity and insecurity, in my opinion. Our amazing new blogger Lindsay Tigar has checked the pulse of women out there to find out what drives them craziest about the men they date. Here’s what they revealed:
Written by Lindsay Tigar
Most of ‘em mean well, but sometimes even the best of men – with the purest of intentions – just can’t be helped. With one text message (or lack thereof) or odd question on a first date (um, what?) – a seemingly great guy can go from blowing us away to…severely turning us away.
Though you might feel like the only lady who has ever dealt with a guy who sends mixed signals, doesn’t pick up on your hints or can’t be bothered to carry on a conversation – don’t worry, we’ve all been there. And really, the truth is, even when you meet a someone who could really be something, he’s still going to do things that annoy you. (Ahem, and vice versa!)
But for a laugh – and some reassurance that we’re all in this together – check out these quotes from real women on the dumb stuff that men do in the dating scene:
1. Not Speaking Up
“Lie for no reason. If you want to spend some time belching (er, bonding) with friends at a local bar, don’t tell me you’re sick and want to stay in. At least I will respect your honesty (and, hey, maybe I could use some time with my girls too).” – Jordan, 29
2. Not Thinking Before Speaking Up
“Sometimes guys just say the first thing that comes to their mind – without any filter at all! Examples: ‘You’re going to wear/eat/do that?’ ‘Your dog is fat? Probably an owner issue.’ ‘What? You have your period AGAIN?’ ‘Wait, is this your really crazy friend? I don’t like her.’ ‘Aren’t you going to put on makeup before we go?’ Lesley, 25
3. Giving One-Word Answers
“I can’t stand when they message you on dating sites with ‘hi.’ What am I supposed to do with that? The way to start a conversation on a site is to actually give the other person something to respond to. ‘Hi, how are you’ is fine in person, but I’m not going to waste time on someone who can’t think of an intelligent way to even start a conversation.” -Jackie, 30
4. Odd Communication Habits
“Whether it’s texting, calling or email, I feel like the dating process is frustrated by hidden ‘rules’ and games that are exacerbated by technological advances. Not only do we have to worry about them texting us or how much time there is in between text message – but we’re connected on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook – everything! What ever happened to a good old fashioned face-to-face conversation letting a potential date know you are into them? Guess-work taken away, clear cut, you both know where you stand.” -Becka, 26
“I had a guy ask me questions like I was in an interview and I was part of some checklist. Example of what he said: “On a scale of 1-10, how responsible are you?’ ‘How often would you say you go out?’ Do you want to date me or hire me, bud?” -Megan, 27
6. Not Being Honest About Intentions
“I hate when they say they don’t want a relationship but then act like you’re in one. If you’re calling or texting me every day and legitimately want to hang out and (seriously) just cuddle, stop pretending you don’t want a relationship and admit that you’re afraid of commitment. Mixed signals are worthless.” -Cassie, 31
7. Being Lazy
“You can call, you don’t always have to text – the ring won’t bite. Texting in front of a me on a date is the rudest thing. Don’t forget to treat your girl the same way you would your mother – would she put up with you being lazy/not putting in any effort and expecting a reward? Can’t we get back to old school manners, respect, treating your woman with decency. And you know, when men actually tried to woo us?” -Laura, 28
8. Taking Forever to Get it Started
“I honestly can’t stand the ‘pause.’ When you first meet a guy on a site and they’re all into you, it seems great but after a week or a month of chatter…they just go silent. They essentially vanish from the interwebs. I hate that. They lift you up only to leave you hanging in mid-air like you’re in an episode of The Road-Runner Show. All you’re missing is the ‘splat’ at the end; in some cases, you can even hear the sound in the background. It’s devastating.” -Katie, 30
What drives you crazy about the dating games men play? And women too, for that matter?
About the Author:
Lindsay Tigar is a writer, editor and blogger in New York City. She’s the voice behind the 20-something dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict and was named NYC’s most eligible single in 2014. Her work can be found at iVillage, Today.com, AskMen.com, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, Engagement 101 and more. Follow her on Twitter.