Written by David Wygant, YourTango.com
Today I want to share something very personal to me, and it’s a lesson I think all of you will benefit from. It’s my birthday tomorrow, and last week I had a bit of a revelation. I realized that life is all about accepting that sometimes we need to surrender. What do I mean? I’ll explain in a few moments, but first let me ask you a couple of important questions. How many of you have planned your life to the very last detail? How many of you know the exact person you’re going to marry, and the names of the children you’re going to have together? How many of you live the life you have in your head, rather than the life that’s in your heart?
I made this exact mistake myself years ago. I was probably about 20 years old at the time. I met an amazing woman. If I could have described my perfect woman, she would have been it. She was pretty much everything I wanted. The problem was she had a child. Back then, there was no way I could imagine myself with a woman and her child. It just didn’t fit into my plan, and I let her go. Of course, I realized I’d made a mistake and tried to get in contact with her a year later. I told her I loved her and wanted her back. The thing was, she’d already met someone else, and my chance was gone.
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I knew I wanted her, but I didn’t surrender to the opportunity I had. Because I was so convinced that in my little fantasy world there was no room for a child, I let the opportunity go. It’s funny, because I hadn’t thought about that woman for years. It was only the other day, when someone was explaining to me how important it is to surrender in life that I remembered what happened. It made me think, “How many times have I missed amazing opportunities because I didn’t or wouldn’t surrender to life?” I know I’ve passed the chance to date some fantastic women because they didn’t fit into my perfect fantasy plan. I was so determined to live the life I’d set out in my head that I wouldn’t bend in any direction. I wasted so many chances in my life, battling for what I believed I needed at the time.
Now that I’m older, I’ve learned the universe always serves us exactly what we need, at the time we need it. The lessons we need to learn and the people we need to meet are right there for us. Most of us just dont realize or won’t accept that sometimes we have to surrender. So many times, you’ll find yourself with a wonderful person, but because they don’t exactly match the template of life we imagine, we stay true to our head and walk away.
Imagine what life would be like if we all opened our hearts. Imagine what life would be like if we surrendered to the people who pop into our lives. Imagine what life would be like if instead of fighting opportunities we embraced them. Wouldn’t life be a million times easier if we lived it through our heart and not our head? You only have to look at the divorce stats to see this is true. A huge 60% of marriages end in divorce. Why is the number so high? To me, it’s because so many of us are desperate to fulfill our plan of getting married, we don’t marry with our hearts. We jump at the first person we connect with because unless we marry, we haven’t lived our life purpose.
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What do you think happens when you dive into marriage like that? What chance do you have of really marrying the right person? Sure, you both might want the same kind of things from life, but that doesn’t mean you’re an ideal match.You might look great together on paper, but wanting similar things from life, and living with an open, surrendered heart are very different things. Unless your souls and your energy connect, you’re not going to go the distance. You’ll jump into marriage, things will be good for a few years and then you’ll divorce. Why? Because you weren’t meant to be life partners.
We make the same mistake with our careers. How many of you have a job you can’t stand? You can’t bear the thought of going into the office every day, but you go because you have to pay the bills. You go home feeling bored, unfulfilled and empty, but every day you go back. You hate the place because you’re not surrendering to what you really want. You’re doing what you have to do instead of what you want to do. The secret to surrendering is realizing we get one shot at life. You can’t go back and start all over if it doesn’t work out the way you want. There are no second chances.
It makes me laugh sometimes. We think as humans we’re so advanced, yet in many ways we’re completely backward. Look how instinctive most other animals are compared to humans. We have the gift of speech, yet instead of communicating from the heart and soul, we choose to communicate from the head. What can we do about it? Start figuring out what it means to us to surrender. What would your life look like if you did the things you desired instead of the things you have to do? It’s time to open your heart and soul. Don’t shun opportunities that feel right because they don’t fit into your plan. Life gives us what we’re meant to have. It might not always fit into your idea of the ideal, but it will be precisely the thing you need to experience.
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Originally posted at YourTango.com: The Ultimate Life and Love Secret