Hypothetical – What Questions Would You Add to eHarmony’s Profile, “In Your Own Words”?


The eHarmony.com profile is THE way that people decide if they are interested enough in you to communicate with you. It’s your first impression, your shingle, your calling card, and your homepage, if you will. It’s safe to say that many eHarmony users effectively hobble their success rate by leaving large parts of the profile blank, or poorly written.

The “In Your Own Words” section of the profile allows you to answer questions about yourself. Questions like, “Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?” and “Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?”

I’ve recently been thinking about new questions, different questions, even better questions. This seems like a great time to ask you what questions you would add to the profile.

Before you answer consider that many people (men) hate to answer long and detailed questions about themselves. If the question is an obvious deep dive it tends to get skipped. For example a questions like, “Share a time in your life when you felt vulnerable and scared. How did you overcome these feelings?” THAT question is NEVER going to get answered. Well, it’s going to get skipped a lot. The trick here is to come up with questions that ask for concrete information that is deeply revealing of the person. It’s also important that the question not likely have the exact same answer for each person. I don’t have a stellar example at hand but something like…

“What is your favorite place? Why do you love it so much?”

That is a question that would be a) easy to answer, b) unique from person to person, c) quite revealing. If the answer was, “Central Park”, you know that the person appreciates the city and likes to take a step out into the green. They appreciate the beauty, but want the concrete jungle nearby. If the answer was, “Prague”, you’ve got an international traveler on your hands. If the answer is, “My local fishing hole”, you may not have an international traveler on your hands. Of course, the description of why they love that space is vital to your understanding of who they are, but even without it you’d have some important window into what they think.

I know there are others…maybe dozens of others. So, let’s make this a contest. Submit your question suggestions and I’ll do a drawing of all the participants for a free month of eHarmony.

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