He Makes Less Money: Dating Do or Don’t?


This is a very interesting/complicated issue and I checked out the boards of Advice for the temperature on this one. My initial reaction: it shouldn’t really matter who makes less or more, and if a woman happens to bring in a higher income than her partner, it shouldn’t get in the way of a developing relationship.

We had a nice, healthy debate in the office about this. Some thought a man may feel inadequate if he dates a woman who makes more money. I also heard the opinion that most women were not going to want to be with a guy less accomplished, because it is simply not attractive and they may not want to be the “bread winner.” I am sure that is true in some cases.

So I pondered about this some more, and read lots of advice board comments — which happily leaned more in the direction that I do.

I do not think you should turn a guy down simply because he makes less than you do. There are many things more important than his bank account — like his character. If you meet a fantastic, honest, ambitious guy who doesn’t pull in the big bucks because he is a teacher at a public high school, should you continue dating him? I say YES. Money isn’t the end-all be-all and the only means to a fulfilling relationship.

Of course it isn’t that simple (what ever is!?!). If the guy you start dating likes to play a lot and work occasionally (and has no problem with you footing the bill more than half of the time), this would end up in the “dating don’t” category for obvious reasons.

Would you rather have lots of money and be alone … or share your life with an amazing person who might not be as blessed as you are in the bank account arena? I would go for the latter arrangement, personally. In any case, it’s a little food for thought and my point is to not write off a guy solely because he makes less than you do.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with dating and money issues!

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