Dating Got You Down? How to Get Out of A Mini-Slump

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online dating advice

Did you have high hopes of finding love at the beginning of the year and now are less than impressed with your online options? Perhaps you told yourself, “This is going to be my year!” and dared to dream that you would have fallen madly in love by now. But alas, it’s the end of March, and you’re asking, “How much longer do I have to do this?” It doesn’t help that spring is taking forever to arrive in many parts of the country.

Yes, love is timeless, but unfortunately online dating tends to follow seasonal patterns. After the flurry of activity of the new year – and maybe a few false romantics starts – daters’ enthusiasm can start to wane. Emails take longer to get returned. And you might be hearing, “Let’s touch base in a few weeks.” That’s after kids’ spring break schedules, holidays, and a certain basketball tournament with seemingly endless games.

Cheer up! It’s not you. It’s the time of year. All it takes is a few warm spring days to perk up everyone’s mojo again and make them realize, “I better get moving if I want to find a sweetie to spend the summer with!”

Here are a few tips to make it through the spring thaw:

1) Find perspective

Who doesn’t love to see a new year’s resolution pay off? But if you started your search for love at the beginning of the year, you’ve barely been at this for three months. You’ve looking for love and romance – not a good deal on health insurance. Getting it right takes time and lots and lots of patience. In the meantime, give yourself credit for what you’ve made happen for yourself so far. Hopefully, you’ve had a few interesting conversations and gone on a few fun dates. Maybe you even had a few mini relationships. That’s not a bad start.

2) Nurture your life offline

While the online dating world slows down, this is a great time to boost your life in the real world. Start training for a 5K or plan the next outing for your brunch or hiking club. Reconnect with family and friends whom you ignored when you were in serious dating mode. Check out Meetup to learn about the next full-moon bonfire or cooking class in your area. Being engaged and happy with your life will make you a better catch when those emails start flying around again in a few weeks. You’ll also have the chance to take some good new photos for your profile.

3) Schedule your spring

You won’t mind a dating slowdown as much if you’ve got a calendar full of events to look forward to. Spend an afternoon looking at the websites of the organizations you belong to and see what they’ve got planned for spring. If you need things to do, make a list of groups to join: Museums, religious organizations, sports leagues, book clubs, alumni connections, volunteer opportunities, etc. They usually have other single people there too.

4) Go somewhere

Nothing refreshes the spirit quite like a trip out of town. Plan a guys’ trip or girls’ getaway. Visit your parents in Florida or your sister in Oregon. If you’re comfortable traveling solo, pick a random weekend destination and take a stack of books and a beach chair. You’ve heard it before, but savor your single life now. You might miss these days when your summer is stacked with couples’ activities.

How do you get through a dating mini-slump?

About the Author:

Sarah Elizabeth Richards is a journalist and the author of Motherhood, Rescheduled: The New Frontier of Egg Freezing and the Women Who Tried It. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Marie Claire, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Slate, and Salon.


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