No matter how much we write about this and discuss it endlessly, this topic bears repeating. I was reading a post written by a woman on our Advice site who’d had a series of great dates with a guy and then … he “poofed”, vanished, disappeared — you know the story. She wants to know why, and that is the title of her discussion thread: “Why did he do this?”
It is very hard to change the analytical tendencies of women (and some men too, who also want to know why). But maybe, with repetition and reminders, we can change our way of thinking and save agonizing time spent dissecting every moment of every date with the fleeing party.
When you start to go down this exhausting and emotional path – stop! Do not waste your time trying to figure out why. There could be a million reasons why someone loses interest, from their own hang-ups, fears, prejudices, old baggage or even financial issues. It doesn’t matter. What matters is preserving your sanity and looking ahead – not backwards.
It didn’t work out. You’ll likely never know why, really, so the quicker you can digest and accept that, the more energy you have saved for more important things.
All you need to know is that this person isn’t worth your time – and didn’t even have the decency or communication skills to end things in a mature fashion. So buh-bye!
Has anyone been able to successfully do this? Please share!