The Heart Beat

Opinion and Invective On The World of Dating and Relationships

happy single
April 6, 2016

She Dropped Her Need for a Relationship—and Learned to Love

A couple of months ago, I posted a letter from a woman who was having a tough time dating and felt disheartened because her coupled friends were judging her for it. She had written me several weeks before, and by the time the piece posted she had mostly worked through the issue herself. She wrote […]

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how to love yourself
March 30, 2016

‘All the Single Ladies’: Happy Women Don’t Settle

During Rebecca Traister’s many single years, she was often irritated when the men she dated disrupted her routine. She didn’t like it when they urged her to leave work earlier than she wanted, or when their presence in her apartment obstructed her weekly cleaning ritual. She was impatient with men who called too frequently, or […]

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changes in life
March 25, 2016

Change: An Opportunity for Renewal!

  “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” ~ Socrates   Your life has changed. You are now divorced. Perhaps you wanted this change. Perhaps you didn’t sign up for this change. Perhaps you were blindsided by this change. Regardless, change […]

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when a relationship ends
March 9, 2016

Why Do the End of Mini Relationships Hurt So Much?

On a recent meeting with a friend, I learned about the last woman who’d broken his heart. “How long had you gone out?” I asked, expecting to hear a story about several years of shared holidays, family vacations, and marriage talk. His answer: Two months “Two months?” I exclaimed. “But how can you know someone […]

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how to get over someone
March 4, 2016

When You Can’t Get Over Someone: Why You’re Stuck and Helpful Techniques

To begin, I feel your pain. Like most of you, I have someone in my past I couldn’t quite get over, so I had to use several different techniques to nip the problem in the bud. If you are disciplined about it, you can get over anyone, no matter how great they are. The first […]

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heart open to love
February 24, 2016

Is Your Heart Open to Love?

There’s been a lot of chatter lately about how being vulnerable can help you connect with someone. Sociologist Brené Brown’s TEDx speech “The Power of Vulnerability” is one of the most watched talks ever, and psychologist Arthur Aron also received a lot of attention with his claim that you could quickly fall in love with […]

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insecure guy
February 19, 2016

4 Signs of an Insecure Guy

Insecure men come in every size and age, and they all share the need for affirmation. What does this mean exactly? You’ll understand in a moment when I share the behaviors insecure men engage in more than their secure and confident male peers. First, however, it is important to note that most insecure men don’t […]

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Woman drinking coffee and making a diary note, top view of female hands writing in notebook, retro toned image with selective focus.
February 17, 2016

Why Singles Get Such Bad Advice

Dear Sara: I am 37 years old, and I am single. I have had two long relationships but have been single for a while now. Sometimes I feel great about my life, and sometimes I feel very depressed about being single. Sometimes people are really supportive towards me and sometimes they are not. I discovered […]

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feb16
February 12, 2016

Franny Agnes Lee’s Secret Valentine

Our sassy single Franny Agnes Lee receives a valentine. But is it for her? Hey, cats need love too. Hope you celebrate all the love in your life this year — whether it’s romantic, friendships, family, or self-love.  See More Franny Dates!

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love easier than u think
February 9, 2016

Loving is Easier Than You Think

The search for love is often described like a treasure hunt—it’s something you find and, if you’re careful, have forever. I have certainly been guilty of writing and thinking about love this way. But research by University of North Carolina psychologist Barbara Fredrickson reveals that this very stagnant view of love is not accurate. Love […]

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