Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

first date advice
June 28, 2016

How to Make Every Date Worthwhile

Most online daters have a general idea of the qualities they’re seeking in a boyfriend or girlfriend—smart, funny, athletic, etc. But couples therapist Peter Pearson says the most important factor is often overlooked: your date’s values. Pearson explains that while daters often place a lot of importance on physical attraction and common interests, shared values […]

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onlinedatinghelp
June 23, 2016

How to Make Your Body Language Say ‘I’m Hot’

If you’d like more responses to your dating profile, new research indicates you could boost your numbers considerably with one simple tweak: uncross your arms. A study published recently in Psychological and Cognitive Sciences found that people who have expansive body language—outstretched arms and legs, relaxed torsos—were rated as more attractive than those with more […]

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loneliness
June 16, 2016

Feeling Lonely? You’re Not Alone

If you’re single and searching for a partner, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely. In fact, it could mean the opposite. People who enjoy being on their own are less likely to settle for mediocre relationships, while those who fear solitude usually have lower standards. Maike Luhman, a psychologist at the University of Cologne in […]

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friendships importance
June 13, 2016

The Importance of Friendship in a Couples’ World

Writer Briallen Hopper once had a close friend explain her priorities in precise order: her child, her husband, her work, her friends. “In her life, a kid thing would always trump a partner thing; a work thing would always trump a friend thing. This was the best way she knew of trying to impose some […]

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battle of sexes
June 6, 2016

Let’s End The Bogus Battle of the Sexes

Shortly after my book, It’s Not You, was released, I was giving a reading in Brooklyn, NY, when a reader asked me why relationship books like mine are always written for women. “Because women buy the books,” I said. My editor and publicist, sitting in the front row, both nodded. This, I added, wasn’t necessarily […]

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Image of female hands giving Christmas present to her friend
May 26, 2016

When Dating Yields Unexpected Benefits

In an earlier post, I discussed how research on professional networking can sometimes apply to the search for a romantic partner. An additional finding in that piece said that successful networkers had a higher sense of purpose—for example, they saw their efforts as being on behalf of their firm or clients. I left that insight […]

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443018
May 24, 2016

You Remind Me of Me (and That’s Hot)

At two bars in France, three women attended speed-dating sessions with specific instructions from a research team: mimic certain men they met, and take pains not to mimic others. For the uninitiated, speed-dating is a system where a large group of singles are paired off and placed at tables for short “dates” of about five […]

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men who love dogs
May 23, 2016

Women Love Men Who Love Dogs

In the summer of 2007, a handsome 20-year-old man was instructed to approach young women in a French pedestrian zone and say this: “Hello. My name’s Antoine. I just want to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon, but I was wondering if you would give me […]

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love concept, a book and a paper heart
May 12, 2016

Dating Lessons from The Harvard Business Review

Single people are often told to “get out there,” a phrase that can instill both anxiety and guilt. Of course, we all know it’s true—if you want to find a romantic partner, you’ll have to leave the house. But if the prospect of subjecting yourself to the scrutiny of others—while simultaneously evaluating them—makes you queasy, […]

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happily ever after myth
May 5, 2016

The Problem with ‘Happy Ever After’

Earlier this year, a reader told me that until very recently she always thought she needed a man to “complete” her, citing the line from Jerry McGuire. Fortunately, she later realized that wasn’t the case and discovered new interests and relationships that filled her in ways she never imagined possible. I definitely recall a certain […]

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