Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

getting married nowadays
July 15, 2015

Was Finding Love Easier For Your Grandparents?

In his new book, Modern Romance, comedian Aziz Ansari describes texting a woman named Tanya and asking her for a date. A few minutes later, the software shows she read it. Then he sees the little dots that indicate she’s typing a reply. Then the dots vanish. Several hours pass and no word. A day […]

Read more >>
dating anxiety
July 10, 2015

Rx for Dating Anxiety: Do Something Nice

In the novel The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., Adelle Waldman’s character Aurit perfectly articulates the unique emotional toll of dating: “Dating is probably the most fraught human interaction there is. You’re sizing people up to see if they’re worth your time and attention, and they’re doing the same to you. It’s meritocracy applied to […]

Read more >>
search for love
June 26, 2015

Taking the Panic Out of the Search for Love

Last year I sat on a panel at a prestigious university with an author who’d published a book telling female students that if they wanted to avoid lifetime spinsterhood, they needed to find a husband while they were in college. “Double down,” she told some of the brightest young women in the country, “before you […]

Read more >>
intimidating woman
June 22, 2015

‘How Can I Stop Intimidating Men?’

Recently a reader wrote to me after a man she’d been dating for ten weeks broke up with her. She said that the breakup was mature and honest, but was dismayed that the man gave her the same reason she’d heard many times before. “They say ‘I deserve better’ and they just weren’t feeling it,” […]

Read more >>
braggers and dating
June 18, 2015

You Humblebrags Aren’t Fooling Anyone

“I can’t believe I tripped on the red carpet!” “Some dude asked if I was a model. I was like, don’t you think I would have brushed my hair if I was?” “Disadvantage of driving a Porsche: People assume I’m picking up the check.” We all know a humblebrag when we see one. It has the intent […]

Read more >>
feeling left out
June 17, 2015

Feeling Left Out? You’re Probably More Likable

“Am I the only single person left?” That’s a question that often strikes unattached people, especially during wedding season. While the bridal showers and bachelor weekends are often fun, watching close pals disappear into relationships can leave many singles feeling left out. But a study recently published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology finds a […]

Read more >>
A young woman is sitting on a swing on a hill burned by a wild fire
June 4, 2015

Navigating the Joys and Sorrows of Single Life

Recently, Singular City editor Kim Calvert commented on the negative tone that many people take when writing about the single life, noting my work in particular. Calvert cited a recent newsletter of mine, in which I expressed my belief that our positive-thinking culture often makes people feel worse because it pressures them to deny their […]

Read more >>
finding love
May 19, 2015

Looking for The Real Thing? Find Someone Comfortable

Ask him for a date, or let him pursue you? Respond to the text immediately, or let her wait? Tell him you love him, or stay mum until he says it first? The early days of a relationship are thrilling, but also stressful. That heavenly new-love high can feel pretty precarious, as if one false […]

Read more >>
texting relationships
May 14, 2015

Bringing a Text Romance Into the Real World

Dear Sara: In November of last year, I finally put myself out into the online dating scene. I have been divorced for about three years. Feeling nervous, I finally found someone I was interested in. We met for coffee [and have] been out on a couple of movie dates. He admitted to me a few […]

Read more >>
happy people arent best support
May 12, 2015

Feeling Discouraged? You Might Want to Avoid Your Happiest Friends

If you’ve had a bad date and need someone to talk to, your most happily married friend is probably not the best choice—even if she thinks she is. A study published in the journal PLOS One found that people who are in a good mood gave themselves higher marks for their empathetic skills than people […]

Read more >>