Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

single for holidays advice
November 24, 2015

Taking an Adult Approach to the Holidays (Even When You’re Seated at the Kid’s Table)

After I asked readers to describe their feelings about the holidays, many expressed frustration. They wrote of nosey relatives who grilled them about their romantic lives, of being relegated to air mattresses while married siblings received guest-room accommodations, and of wanting to vaporize during New Year’s Eve kisses. But perhaps the largest source of grief […]

Christmas monkey near a red coffee cup on a wooden background.
November 20, 2015

They’re Hee-eere: Navigating the Holidays While Single

For Kirsten, the holiday blues started early this year. Up until recently, she’d spent Thanksgiving at her parents’ house, using her old bedroom as a refuge when things became too overwhelming. But after her parents moved to a retirement community, the festivities moved to her brother’s house and Kirsten bunked in a room without a […]

Silhouette of young man sitting on sunset or sunrise. Confident teenage boy thinkig on cliff stone. Hope. Sadness. Freedom.
November 12, 2015

Post-Breakup Question: What Did You Do Right?

Recently, a young woman told me about a guy who had disappeared after exhibiting some fairly skittish behavior. Now she was questioning herself, wondering why her relationships never lasted. I asked her to consider her behavior in this relationship. Did she have any regrets? Is there anything she’d do differently? She was silent for a […]

The woman touches finger-tips to the mouth
October 28, 2015

Does Dating Make You Frightened? Good.

Last week, I thought I saw a ghost. A flurry of light swished across the living room floor and I tensed for a second. Could it be? It wasn’t. Car headlights, I later realized, were reflecting off a side window and creating the eerie effect. But it was still fun to think about on a […]

how to talk to strangers
October 21, 2015

The Case For Talking to Strangers

“Ya gotta get out there.” That’s a refrain singles searching for romantic partners often hear. The trouble is, “there” isn’t always such a hospitable place. Sure you can leave the house, take a walk, meet friends for dinner, or go to the occasional cocktail party. But day-to-day life generally isn’t conducive to those adorable cute […]

how to love yourself
October 15, 2015

Don’t Love Yourself? Try Just Being Friends.

Whenever people ask Buddhist teacher Lodro Rinzler to talk about love and romance, he asks them a simple question: “When you go on a date, do you bring your most authentic self?” “Ninety percent of the time, the answer is ‘Hell, no,’” Rinzler writes in How To Love Yourself (And Sometimes Other People): Spiritual Advice […]

Wooden sign hang in there hanging on stone wall with heart as dot on i
October 12, 2015

Friends Want to Help You Find Love? Ask Them to Do This.

Harvard Business School might not seem like a likely place to find dating advice, but a recently published working paper has good insights for anyone wishing to perform well under pressure. The study, which I learned about from the Science of Us blog, shows that people who receive positive feedback before undertaking a stressful task […]

Girl in white is trying to guess what is under the cups.
September 30, 2015

‘How Can I Trust Myself Again?’

Dear Sara: I recently met a guy on a dating app, and we had an online thing going on for about two months. Despite our distance [we live on different continents], we talked every single day, almost non-stop through text, phone calls, and Skype. I tried (not very hard though, I must admit) to slow […]

ruin relationships
September 24, 2015

‘How Do I Not Screw Up My New Relationship?’

Dear Sara: A few months back, I was at a friend’s party and met a guy who, it turns out, I met last year at the same friend’s party. We met very briefly and he made a great impression on me but I was feeling totally introverted and sort of scampered away from him. When […]

Two Female Friends Enjoying Cupcakes At Outdoor Summer Event
September 23, 2015

How to Make New Friends

Most everyone understands that it can be hard to meet people to date, which is of course why there are so many apps, sites, and services to assist singles searching for romantic partners. But when you find yourself in search of platonic friends, it can feel a bit embarrassing. Isn’t this supposed to be effortless? […]