Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

Image of female hands giving Christmas present to her friend
May 26, 2016

When Dating Yields Unexpected Benefits

In an earlier post, I discussed how research on professional networking can sometimes apply to the search for a romantic partner. An additional finding in that piece said that successful networkers had a higher sense of purpose—for example, they saw their efforts as being on behalf of their firm or clients. I left that insight […]

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443018
May 24, 2016

You Remind Me of Me (and That’s Hot)

At two bars in France, three women attended speed-dating sessions with specific instructions from a research team: mimic certain men they met, and take pains not to mimic others. For the uninitiated, speed-dating is a system where a large group of singles are paired off and placed at tables for short “dates” of about five […]

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men who love dogs
May 23, 2016

Women Love Men Who Love Dogs

In the summer of 2007, a handsome 20-year-old man was instructed to approach young women in a French pedestrian zone and say this: “Hello. My name’s Antoine. I just want to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon, but I was wondering if you would give me […]

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love concept, a book and a paper heart
May 12, 2016

Dating Lessons from The Harvard Business Review

Single people are often told to “get out there,” a phrase that can instill both anxiety and guilt. Of course, we all know it’s true—if you want to find a romantic partner, you’ll have to leave the house. But if the prospect of subjecting yourself to the scrutiny of others—while simultaneously evaluating them—makes you queasy, […]

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happily ever after myth
May 5, 2016

The Problem with ‘Happy Ever After’

Earlier this year, a reader told me that until very recently she always thought she needed a man to “complete” her, citing the line from Jerry McGuire. Fortunately, she later realized that wasn’t the case and discovered new interests and relationships that filled her in ways she never imagined possible. I definitely recall a certain […]

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dating and not losing faith
April 28, 2016

How to Not Lose Heart

“All my relationships have failed.” “There must be something wrong with me.” “As I get older, it’s going to be harder for me to date.” For some reason, we human beings have a bad habit of letting upsetting thoughts take over our brains. We fret and churn, convinced that this is somehow productive. Most of […]

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undateable
April 25, 2016

A Reader Asks ‘Am I Undateable?’

Dear Sara: I loved the letter that you posted from the young lady who was struggling with dating at first. She eventually realized that she enjoyed being single and meeting all types of people and loving them. Are some people just undateable (excuse my made-up word)? I am beginning to think I have been single […]

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feeling left out
April 18, 2016

Dating Advice: ‘It’s Hopeless. You’re a Mess. Why so Negative?’

This week a client wrote me about a disappointing evening. She met a guy she liked at a networking event and … it didn’t go the way she hoped. Anyone who has been single for any length of time has probably had this kind of night. It can feel very significant in the moment, even […]

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joy of cooking as a single person
April 15, 2016

The Joy of Cooking For One (or Two)

When author Klancy Miller was attending culinary school in Paris, she came down with a bad cold and yearned for a bowl of old-fashioned chicken noodle soup. A single woman who lived alone, she realized she’d need to make it for herself. The incident set Miller on a path that ultimately led to her first […]

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happy single
April 6, 2016

She Dropped Her Need for a Relationship—and Learned to Love

A couple of months ago, I posted a letter from a woman who was having a tough time dating and felt disheartened because her coupled friends were judging her for it. She had written me several weeks before, and by the time the piece posted she had mostly worked through the issue herself. She wrote […]

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