Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

Wooden sign hang in there hanging on stone wall with heart as dot on i
October 12, 2015

Friends Want to Help You Find Love? Ask Them to Do This.

Harvard Business School might not seem like a likely place to find dating advice, but a recently published working paper has good insights for anyone wishing to perform well under pressure. The study, which I learned about from the Science of Us blog, shows that people who receive positive feedback before undertaking a stressful task […]

Girl in white is trying to guess what is under the cups.
September 30, 2015

‘How Can I Trust Myself Again?’

Dear Sara: I recently met a guy on a dating app, and we had an online thing going on for about two months. Despite our distance [we live on different continents], we talked every single day, almost non-stop through text, phone calls, and Skype. I tried (not very hard though, I must admit) to slow […]

ruin relationships
September 24, 2015

‘How Do I Not Screw Up My New Relationship?’

Dear Sara: A few months back, I was at a friend’s party and met a guy who, it turns out, I met last year at the same friend’s party. We met very briefly and he made a great impression on me but I was feeling totally introverted and sort of scampered away from him. When […]

Two Female Friends Enjoying Cupcakes At Outdoor Summer Event
September 23, 2015

How to Make New Friends

Most everyone understands that it can be hard to meet people to date, which is of course why there are so many apps, sites, and services to assist singles searching for romantic partners. But when you find yourself in search of platonic friends, it can feel a bit embarrassing. Isn’t this supposed to be effortless? […]

dating online tips
September 8, 2015

Young People Have ALWAYS Been Told They’re Dating Wrong

I recently read about a father who was worried that a new form of communication technology might harm his daughters. The year: 1905. The device: The telephone. “[He] knew how to barricade the front door but couldn’t conceive of how he’d protect his daughters from the strange men who could now come in through the […]

Students in a cafe
August 24, 2015

How to Start a Conversation — In Real Life

Before internet dating began, it could be extremely tough for single people to meet one another. If you didn’t find your partner in school and weren’t meeting eligible singles in your family or friend circles, then you were at the mercy of chance: you just had to hope that you would walk into the right […]

dating advice tv
August 20, 2015

When The Single Life Doesn’t Resemble a Sitcom

Dear Sara: I read an article you wrote [about being single for a very long time] last year while house sitting a married friend’s cats–as only a single girl can do! Then I ordered your book. I have read EVERY SINGLE book on the market on “What was wrong with me?” Well no more! Your […]

dating questions
August 19, 2015

‘Why Are My Married Friends So Smug?’

Dear Sara: What goes on psychologically that causes people to brag about their relationships and then chastise single friends for wanting the same thing? I’ve read studies before saying that happiness actually causes selfishness, and that if you’re down, it’s best not to talk to a friend who’s very happy with their life because they’re […]

spinster no more
August 11, 2015

The ‘Spinster’ Updates Her Image

Until recently, the image we associated with the word “spinster” was fairly universal: a bottled-up woman in a high-neck shirt, hair pulled into a tight bun. So it was a good sign of progress when the term was discarded and replaced with “single woman.” With an interesting career, great apartment, and lots of cocktail-party invitations, […]

getting married nowadays
July 15, 2015

Was Finding Love Easier For Your Grandparents?

In his new book, Modern Romance, comedian Aziz Ansari describes texting a woman named Tanya and asking her for a date. A few minutes later, the software shows she read it. Then he sees the little dots that indicate she’s typing a reply. Then the dots vanish. Several hours pass and no word. A day […]