Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

Do You Have the ‘Facebook Blues?’

Your cousin is picking blueberries with her 3-year-old twins. Your college classmate got married at an 18th century inn. And your ex is chilling at the beach with old friends and wants you to know “it doesn’t get any better than this.” In the age of social media, we know a lot about what our […]

Last week I got a letter from a man named Mark, who asked for advice on giving women compliments. He had met a nice woman at an art galley and they chatted for about half an hour. Mark was normally shy and reserved with women, but a female friend had told him he needed to […]

Getting Over Single ‘Shame’

After being unattached for eleven years, Sue had just started dating someone who had a lot of relationship experience, and she was embarrassed by her thin relationship resume. “How do I let go my feelings of inadequacy?” she asked author Sasha Cagen and I in a recent webcast. Sue had a classic case of single […]

Think You Know How to Flirt? New Research Says You Don’t

You thought you were being so obvious with your jokey comments and playful arm-punches. After all, you don’t brush lint off anyone’s jacket. You don’t gently tease everyone when they take an extra-large helping of mashed potatoes. We flirt with the people we think are cute and might want to date. And yet, so often […]

Are You Hot or Not? The Answer May Change With Time

Lose weight. Whiten your teeth. Work those abs. Cover your gray. And for goodness sake, put on a little lipstick! When you’re dating, the pressure to measure up to the beauty standard prescribed by magazines, advertisements and celebrity info-tainment programs can feel pretty relentless. Sure we all want to look our best, and there is […]

How to Go to a Wedding Solo

Wedding season can be great fun—a time to dress up, travel to exotic destinations and drink champagne with cute friends-of-friends. But those celebrations of love and coupledom can also have a sting when you’re RSVPing for one. It might be tempting to scare up a date with someone—anyone—to save yourself from scrutiny. But Jen Doll […]

When Your Hot Date Goes Cold—and Then Heats up Again

At first, things were amazing — dates that lasted fourteen hours, a constant string of flirty emails and texts. You discussed what your kids would look like and whether or not you’d both be happy living in Albuquerque. The dude was seriously into you. Until he wasn’t. Suddenly communication ceased. He was “busy with work” […]

The Reveal: When Do You Tell Your Date … That Thing?

At a bookstore cafe in Boston, a woman in the audience had a question for me, the evening’s designated dating guru. There was something she didn’t want the men she dated to know about her. How long should she hide it? I sat on a high stool in front of the room, microphone in hand, […]

Dating Rules: Selling Yourself vs. Being Yourself

Dating guides frequently give strict rules about how to behave around prospective partners. There are dictates about who should pick the restaurant and pay the check, how far in advance the date should be requested, and how long to wait before sending the follow-up text. We’re advised to be open, but also mysterious. To wear […]

Let it Come Naturally or Treat it Like a Job? How Hard You Should Work for Love

Last month, I attended an event where I read from It’s Not You, my book about navigating life as a single adult, when an audience member asked an interesting question. I had said I didn’t think a romantic relationship was something you could pointedly go after, the way you might a promotion or a master’s […]

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