Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

happily ever after myth
May 5, 2016

The Problem with ‘Happy Ever After’

Earlier this year, a reader told me that until very recently she always thought she needed a man to “complete” her, citing the line from Jerry McGuire. Fortunately, she later realized that wasn’t the case and discovered new interests and relationships that filled her in ways she never imagined possible. I definitely recall a certain […]

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dating and not losing faith
April 28, 2016

How to Not Lose Heart

“All my relationships have failed.” “There must be something wrong with me.” “As I get older, it’s going to be harder for me to date.” For some reason, we human beings have a bad habit of letting upsetting thoughts take over our brains. We fret and churn, convinced that this is somehow productive. Most of […]

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undateable
April 25, 2016

A Reader Asks ‘Am I Undateable?’

Dear Sara: I loved the letter that you posted from the young lady who was struggling with dating at first. She eventually realized that she enjoyed being single and meeting all types of people and loving them. Are some people just undateable (excuse my made-up word)? I am beginning to think I have been single […]

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feeling left out
April 18, 2016

Dating Advice: ‘It’s Hopeless. You’re a Mess. Why so Negative?’

This week a client wrote me about a disappointing evening. She met a guy she liked at a networking event and … it didn’t go the way she hoped. Anyone who has been single for any length of time has probably had this kind of night. It can feel very significant in the moment, even […]

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joy of cooking as a single person
April 15, 2016

The Joy of Cooking For One (or Two)

When author Klancy Miller was attending culinary school in Paris, she came down with a bad cold and yearned for a bowl of old-fashioned chicken noodle soup. A single woman who lived alone, she realized she’d need to make it for herself. The incident set Miller on a path that ultimately led to her first […]

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happy single
April 6, 2016

She Dropped Her Need for a Relationship—and Learned to Love

A couple of months ago, I posted a letter from a woman who was having a tough time dating and felt disheartened because her coupled friends were judging her for it. She had written me several weeks before, and by the time the piece posted she had mostly worked through the issue herself. She wrote […]

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how to love yourself
March 30, 2016

‘All the Single Ladies’: Happy Women Don’t Settle

During Rebecca Traister’s many single years, she was often irritated when the men she dated disrupted her routine. She didn’t like it when they urged her to leave work earlier than she wanted, or when their presence in her apartment obstructed her weekly cleaning ritual. She was impatient with men who called too frequently, or […]

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Woman drinking coffee and making a diary note, top view of female hands writing in notebook, retro toned image with selective focus.
February 17, 2016

Why Singles Get Such Bad Advice

Dear Sara: I am 37 years old, and I am single. I have had two long relationships but have been single for a while now. Sometimes I feel great about my life, and sometimes I feel very depressed about being single. Sometimes people are really supportive towards me and sometimes they are not. I discovered […]

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dating advice
February 10, 2016

Don’t Feel Confident? You May Make a Better Impression

If you’re hoping to fall in love in 2016, you may have resolved to be more confident. Confidence, singles are repeatedly told, is sexy. The common belief is that if you look in the mirror and see a gorgeous, brilliant, and wildly popular person, others will view you that way, too. The prescriptions for raising […]

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love easier than u think
February 9, 2016

Loving is Easier Than You Think

The search for love is often described like a treasure hunt—it’s something you find and, if you’re careful, have forever. I have certainly been guilty of writing and thinking about love this way. But research by University of North Carolina psychologist Barbara Fredrickson reveals that this very stagnant view of love is not accurate. Love […]

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