Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

October 20, 2016

Write Your Break-Up Recovery Story

When you’re dealing with the pain and trauma of a breakup, there are few phrases more annoying than “look on the bright side” or “it’s probably for the best.” Your heart has been shattered. Your life, upheaved. Who will get the friends? What will I do with my weekends? Will I ever see my blue […]

October 20, 2016

What Do Women Want: Looks or Character?

Would you rather be with a handsome man or an altruistic man? A British study recently published in Evolutionary Psychology examined how much a man’s level of altruism influences his attractiveness to women. In the study, led by University of Worcester psychologist Daniel Farrelly, 202 heterosexual women looked at photographs of pairs of men. In […]

dating tips
October 17, 2016

Want a Treat? Give One to Someone Else

People often tell singles they can’t be happy as a couple until they’ve learned to be happy on their own. I disagree—there are plenty of people in loving relationships who have never mastered the art of being completely fulfilled as a single person. But the ability to find lasting happiness, regardless of life circumstances, is still […]

relationship advice
October 4, 2016

‘I Don’t Understand Why She Left’

Dear Sara: Two and a half years ago, I met a woman online (I was 43 and she was 33 and an alcoholic, sober for 3 years), and we hit it off right away. She was witty and smart. We communicated really well, and we had great physical chemistry. After a few weeks, she said […]

speed dating tips
August 18, 2016

My Date Said ‘I Don’t Want To Be Here.’ Neither Did I.

Many years ago, I participated in a speed dating event in New York City—one of sixty people meeting in the basement of a Mexican restaurant for a lightening round of 30 three minute dates. It didn’t go well. Though the event was marketed to people aged 30 to 44, many of the men I met […]

ready for relationship
August 1, 2016

‘I Love My Freedom, But I Also Want a Relationship’

Dear Sara: I’m a 34-old-girl who never had a proper relationship. l started to feel so lonely, and seeing [people] all around me having someone makes me feel bad about myself. On the other hand, I do like my independent and free life but still want someone next to me. I wonder: Do I ask […]

dating with disabilities
July 25, 2016

Dating With a Disability: ‘Should I Just Give Up?’

Dear Sara: I’m in Seattle and dating here is brutal. I’m 41, educated, funny, fairly attractive, and kind/courteous. I’m looking for the real thing. Here’s the problem: I was almost killed in a car wreck two years ago and my ankles and feet were crushed, every single bone, as well as others in my legs […]

nice guys and dating
July 20, 2016

Leave Room For the Nice Guys

Dear Sara: I’m 49 years old. I’ve never been married, and have no children. I dated a guy for 15 years, thought we would be married and have kids, and we have been broken up for over 10 years. It took me three years to get over that relationship because he immediately found someone 10 years […]

self doubt and dating
July 14, 2016

‘Is Self-Doubt Harming My Chance of Finding Love?’

Dear Sara: A while back, I had a “come to Jesus” moment with a [single] friend/mentor when she was implying, yet again, that marriage is a sign of spiritual maturity. I argued it was luck. I said, “Tell me one thing a happily married woman (I decided to make it easy for her by excluding […]

dating advice
July 13, 2016

Why We Love People Who ‘Speak Our Language’

Your mother was right: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Especially in the search for romantic love. A study by University of Texas psychologists James Pennebaker and Molly Ireland found that people with similar speaking and writing styles show more romantic interest in one another than those with more divergent language […]