Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

dating advice
February 10, 2016

Don’t Feel Confident? You May Make a Better Impression

If you’re hoping to fall in love in 2016, you may have resolved to be more confident. Confidence, singles are repeatedly told, is sexy. The common belief is that if you look in the mirror and see a gorgeous, brilliant, and wildly popular person, others will view you that way, too. The prescriptions for raising […]

Read more >>
love easier than u think
February 9, 2016

Loving is Easier Than You Think

The search for love is often described like a treasure hunt—it’s something you find and, if you’re careful, have forever. I have certainly been guilty of writing and thinking about love this way. But research by University of North Carolina psychologist Barbara Fredrickson reveals that this very stagnant view of love is not accurate. Love […]

Read more >>
loving others advice
February 8, 2016

Love is Not an Achievement

I recently recorded a Valentine’s Day video for an online news organization. The theme: “Valentine’s Day Sucks.” My friend Jen (author of a great book called Save the Date) and I rolled our eyes at those corny Mylar balloons and chalky Valentine’s hearts, making up goofy inscriptions like “Let’s Settle For Each Other” and “You’ll […]

Read more >>
online dating tips
January 22, 2016

A Cure for the ‘Pick Me’ Blues

If you’ve recently created a dating profile for yourself, you’re not alone. This is the busiest time of year for online dating sites like this one. Along with your height, eye color, and favorite films, you’ve probably attempted to include language that informs the reader that you’re worth a look. You want to distinguish yourself […]

Read more >>
falling in love feels scary
January 19, 2016

Talking Back to Your Inner Critic

In January, the gyms are crowded and dating sites like this one see their highest levels of traffic. That’s a good thing—the New Year is a terrific time to challenge yourself to improve your life. But as most of us are painfully aware, most New Year’s resolutions don’t stick, as the lure of streaming videos […]

Read more >>
new years resolutions singles
December 29, 2015

4 Beliefs Singles Can Leave in 2015

This will be the year: that you start getting up at five a.m. to go running, that you go on two dates a week, that you develop a system that keeps your closet clutter-free. There’s a funny optimism that occurs at the end of every year. Somehow, despite all evidence to the contrary, many of […]

Read more >>
holidays being single
December 21, 2015

A Field Guide to Awkward Holiday Situations

“Why are you still single?” “When are you going to settle down?” “What’s the deal with you, anyway?” During the holidays, singles often brace themselves for a lot of annoying questions and comments from relatives, family friends, high school acquaintances. And during this time, writers like me offer snappy retorts to such irritating queries—and sometimes […]

Read more >>
Woman with brown shoes standing on a wooden bridge floor, covered with fresh snow with handwritten miss you words. Point of view of womanstanding on a wooden bridge with miss you message.
December 14, 2015

Tis the Season…To Break Up

If you’ve recently experienced a breakup, you’re in good company. The two weeks before Christmas see one of the year’s biggest breakup spikes, as family gatherings, office parties, and gift-giving pressures unhinge many couples. A few things to consider: 1) You Don’t Have to Be Merry–Yet If you want to be relatively cheerful at Aunt […]

Read more >>
how to say no
December 9, 2015

When to Say ‘No’ to Holiday Events

The office holiday drinks meet was going along just fine; then everyone began swapping marriage-proposal stories. “Of course, no one asked for mine, haha,” said Gina, the only single person in her office. “It was painful to sit through, but I survived.” After that, Gina gave herself permission to decline invitations that she thought would […]

Read more >>
single for holidays advice
November 24, 2015

Taking an Adult Approach to the Holidays (Even When You’re Seated at the Kid’s Table)

After I asked readers to describe their feelings about the holidays, many expressed frustration. They wrote of nosey relatives who grilled them about their romantic lives, of being relegated to air mattresses while married siblings received guest-room accommodations, and of wanting to vaporize during New Year’s Eve kisses. But perhaps the largest source of grief […]

Read more >>