Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

Students in a cafe
August 24, 2015

How to Start a Conversation — In Real Life

Before internet dating began, it could be extremely tough for single people to meet one another. If you didn’t find your partner in school and weren’t meeting eligible singles in your family or friend circles, then you were at the mercy of chance: you just had to hope that you would walk into the right […]

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dating advice tv
August 20, 2015

When The Single Life Doesn’t Resemble a Sitcom

Dear Sara: I read an article you wrote [about being single for a very long time] last year while house sitting a married friend’s cats–as only a single girl can do! Then I ordered your book. I have read EVERY SINGLE book on the market on “What was wrong with me?” Well no more! Your […]

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dating questions
August 19, 2015

‘Why Are My Married Friends So Smug?’

Dear Sara: What goes on psychologically that causes people to brag about their relationships and then chastise single friends for wanting the same thing? I’ve read studies before saying that happiness actually causes selfishness, and that if you’re down, it’s best not to talk to a friend who’s very happy with their life because they’re […]

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spinster no more
August 11, 2015

The ‘Spinster’ Updates Her Image

Until recently, the image we associated with the word “spinster” was fairly universal: a bottled-up woman in a high-neck shirt, hair pulled into a tight bun. So it was a good sign of progress when the term was discarded and replaced with “single woman.” With an interesting career, great apartment, and lots of cocktail-party invitations, […]

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getting married nowadays
July 15, 2015

Was Finding Love Easier For Your Grandparents?

In his new book, Modern Romance, comedian Aziz Ansari describes texting a woman named Tanya and asking her for a date. A few minutes later, the software shows she read it. Then he sees the little dots that indicate she’s typing a reply. Then the dots vanish. Several hours pass and no word. A day […]

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dating anxiety
July 10, 2015

Rx for Dating Anxiety: Do Something Nice

In the novel The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., Adelle Waldman’s character Aurit perfectly articulates the unique emotional toll of dating: “Dating is probably the most fraught human interaction there is. You’re sizing people up to see if they’re worth your time and attention, and they’re doing the same to you. It’s meritocracy applied to […]

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search for love
June 26, 2015

Taking the Panic Out of the Search for Love

Last year I sat on a panel at a prestigious university with an author who’d published a book telling female students that if they wanted to avoid lifetime spinsterhood, they needed to find a husband while they were in college. “Double down,” she told some of the brightest young women in the country, “before you […]

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intimidating woman
June 22, 2015

‘How Can I Stop Intimidating Men?’

Recently a reader wrote to me after a man she’d been dating for ten weeks broke up with her. She said that the breakup was mature and honest, but was dismayed that the man gave her the same reason she’d heard many times before. “They say ‘I deserve better’ and they just weren’t feeling it,” […]

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braggers and dating
June 18, 2015

You Humblebrags Aren’t Fooling Anyone

“I can’t believe I tripped on the red carpet!” “Some dude asked if I was a model. I was like, don’t you think I would have brushed my hair if I was?” “Disadvantage of driving a Porsche: People assume I’m picking up the check.” We all know a humblebrag when we see one. It has the intent […]

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feeling left out
June 17, 2015

Feeling Left Out? You’re Probably More Likable

“Am I the only single person left?” That’s a question that often strikes unattached people, especially during wedding season. While the bridal showers and bachelor weekends are often fun, watching close pals disappear into relationships can leave many singles feeling left out. But a study recently published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology finds a […]

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