Sara Eckel

Posts by Sara Eckel

Sara Eckel is the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter at @saraeckel or on Facebook.

dating with disabilities
July 25, 2016

Dating With a Disability: ‘Should I Just Give Up?’

Dear Sara: I’m in Seattle and dating here is brutal. I’m 41, educated, funny, fairly attractive, and kind/courteous. I’m looking for the real thing. Here’s the problem: I was almost killed in a car wreck two years ago and my ankles and feet were crushed, every single bone, as well as others in my legs […]

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nice guys and dating
July 20, 2016

Leave Room For the Nice Guys

Dear Sara: I’m 49 years old. I’ve never been married, and have no children. I dated a guy for 15 years, thought we would be married and have kids, and we have been broken up for over 10 years. It took me three years to get over that relationship because he immediately found someone 10 years […]

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self doubt and dating
July 14, 2016

‘Is Self-Doubt Harming My Chance of Finding Love?’

Dear Sara: A while back, I had a “come to Jesus” moment with a [single] friend/mentor when she was implying, yet again, that marriage is a sign of spiritual maturity. I argued it was luck. I said, “Tell me one thing a happily married woman (I decided to make it easy for her by excluding […]

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dating advice
July 13, 2016

Why We Love People Who ‘Speak Our Language’

Your mother was right: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Especially in the search for romantic love. A study by University of Texas psychologists James Pennebaker and Molly Ireland found that people with similar speaking and writing styles show more romantic interest in one another than those with more divergent language […]

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smiling woman holding sparklers in her hand
July 1, 2016

Celebrating Singles’ Independence

A few years ago, I held a Fourth of July barbecue in my newly adopted city, and afterwards I noticed something interesting: the friends who came early to help set up and stayed late to help clean up had one thing in common: They were single. This isn’t a criticism of my married guests. They […]

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first date advice
June 28, 2016

How to Make Every Date Worthwhile

Most online daters have a general idea of the qualities they’re seeking in a boyfriend or girlfriend—smart, funny, athletic, etc. But couples therapist Peter Pearson says the most important factor is often overlooked: your date’s values. Pearson explains that while daters often place a lot of importance on physical attraction and common interests, shared values […]

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onlinedatinghelp
June 23, 2016

How to Make Your Body Language Say ‘I’m Hot’

If you’d like more responses to your dating profile, new research indicates you could boost your numbers considerably with one simple tweak: uncross your arms. A study published recently in Psychological and Cognitive Sciences found that people who have expansive body language—outstretched arms and legs, relaxed torsos—were rated as more attractive than those with more […]

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loneliness
June 16, 2016

Feeling Lonely? You’re Not Alone

If you’re single and searching for a partner, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely. In fact, it could mean the opposite. People who enjoy being on their own are less likely to settle for mediocre relationships, while those who fear solitude usually have lower standards. Maike Luhman, a psychologist at the University of Cologne in […]

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friendships importance
June 13, 2016

The Importance of Friendship in a Couples’ World

Writer Briallen Hopper once had a close friend explain her priorities in precise order: her child, her husband, her work, her friends. “In her life, a kid thing would always trump a partner thing; a work thing would always trump a friend thing. This was the best way she knew of trying to impose some […]

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battle of sexes
June 6, 2016

Let’s End The Bogus Battle of the Sexes

Shortly after my book, It’s Not You, was released, I was giving a reading in Brooklyn, NY, when a reader asked me why relationship books like mine are always written for women. “Because women buy the books,” I said. My editor and publicist, sitting in the front row, both nodded. This, I added, wasn’t necessarily […]

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