Posts by Heather Setrakian, MA

Ms. Setrakian is the co-investigator eHarmony Labs' Marriage and Family Development Study, the largest study of its kind undertaken by a corporation. She has also co-created the Interpersonal Chemistry and Communication in Dating studies for eHarmony Labs. Ms. Setrakian has presented at several professional and academic associations, including the Association for Psychological Science, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology and the International Association for Relationship Research. Ms. Setrakian received her Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. Her undergraduate degree of Psychology and American Literature was awarded from University of California, Los Angeles.

September 7, 2011

How to break through social insecurity and overcome your fear of rejection

Building up the confidence and courage to approach others can be difficult- especially for those that have low self esteem. Being fearful of rejection may make you to behave as if you have already been rejected. While it is meant to be protective, it sometimes causes the thing you fear the most. Here are some simple steps you can try at home to raise your self esteem, and your resilience in dealing with others.

Girl torn between fighting parents
August 16, 2011

Do you ask your kids to take sides after a divorce?

I’ve been reading about several divorced dads and the varied connection they have with their children.  What are factors within the divorce process that make it so difficult (or easy) to provide good parenting?  Is one spouse 100% to blame?  Is it possible that some of these fathers are good parents in horrible circumstances? Mothers influence […]


When good dates don’t call: Why does it hurt?

You know the drill: you meet cute somewhere.  You go out.  You have a wonderful time: laughing, sharing common interests and making ironic statements about popular culture.  You might have even shared a kiss (or more) as a nightcap.  In a phrase: you clicked!  Or at least you thought as much, but here you are […]

for heathers blog
June 29, 2011

Should you date outside your ‘Type’?

Have you ever met someone new and thought there was a certain something that while you couldn’t put your finger on, influenced the way in which you behaved around them? Are you consistently going out with the same ‘type’ of person, based in part on this intuitive feeling? If you only date a certain type of partner, it may not be for the reasons you suspect. Holding onto a certain ‘type’ may also be detrimental to your long-term success of finding the right partner for you.

woman liar
June 16, 2011

Can you spot the lies in an online profile?

Is lying an outdated myth or an accepted practice in online dating? Not too long ago, a stereotype of online dating was that the person you saw online wasn’t who showed up for your date. Maybe they were older, shorter, or had much “more to love” than was implied in their profile. But what are average online daters today doing to spruce up their profiles? Can you spot the lies from the truth?

high maintenance one
June 7, 2011

Do High Maintenance Women Snag Better Mates?

The phrase “high maintenance woman” casually refers to a woman who places exceptionally high standards on herself and her dating partner.  She spends an excessive amount of time on herself.  She makes hoop-jumping seem like a normal part of dating, is constantly making their partners prove their worthiness either through displays of affection, commitment or […]


Debunking Myths about Getting Older

Sometimes, the idea of getting older fills me with dread. This usually has to do with the inevitability of sun damage and gravity, but in the back of my mind I wonder- am I going to be lonely? Will I be staring at a nondescript outdoor scene from a sterile room? But then I think […]

April 12, 2011

Is your partner snooping? You could be to blame.

People snoop for a variety of reasons. It’s possible that the mistrust is one –sided or that confidence between partners has been broken in the past. But when there isn’t a history of betrayal, and no other evidence is available, what causes partners to spy? It’s possible that not opening up


My partner and I are opposites. Now what?

Living with someone inevitably causes some point of tension, since another person has different tolerances and preferences. Couples often fight about the incompatibilities in their relationship: one may save when the other spends, one may clean directly after every meal while the other abhors dishwashing, one may like to go out with friends regularly while […]

February 26, 2010

A Picture in Your Profile Might Get You a Date, but Not a Relationship!

A picture is worth a thousand words…but probably only half a date.  We all know the importance of initial physical attraction for romantic relationships.  In face-to-face meetings it is the first piece of information that we get about a potential partner.  But how important is it when trying to meet people online?   Are profiles considered […]