To make a long story short, I just witnessed a friend meet a guy, fall very quickly for him, get emotionally invested right away, and then nearly 6 months later… he poofs. His reason? He claimed to get scared about the possibility of a real commitment, future and marriage, which was too much for him to handle.
He played the potential love interest role perfectly, talked about having kids with her in a year if things kept progressing. He seemed just right for her. And then? His true colors were revealed. He went from adoring to aloof in an instant, and no longer wanted to connect or communicate. No one will ever really know if his reasons were legitimate, or if he is just the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, and that doesn’t even matter. What does matter is what we can all learn from the situation.
Could some of the heartache have been avoided? Maybe not, as we all get to learn valuable lessons through these trials. But here are some reminders and thoughts about the dating process…
• Date casually – for awhile (don’t start seeing them every other night!) . Keep the dates to once a week (or something in that realm) and definitely do not put all of your eggs in that basket. (Meaning, keep dating!)
• Play it cool and keep those emotions in check (and your feet on the ground). I know, easier said than done. But worth it in the end.
• People will reveal different aspects of their character and personality over time. So give things time. Give them the opportunity to show you who they really are. You can’t really know someone in two months.
• Pay attention to how they treat other people in their life. Don’t ignore any potential red flags because you are blinded by lust/infatuation.
I believe that slow and steady wins the race in dating – and can protect your heart most often. Falling in love can be an amazing experience, and shouldn’t be rushed on either end.
What do you think about the notion of taking it slow? Agree? Not?