If you are looking for tips to help in your relationship search, check out Always Hit on the Wingman … and 9 Other Secret Rules for Getting the Love Life You Want, a new book by Jake, America’s well- known — but anonymous — dating columnist. In the book, there are decades’ worth of wisdom boiled down into 10 laws to help women.
Jake, a male writer determined to teach women what they need to know — and too often don’t understand — about men, writes for Glamour magazine’s longest running dating column. As someone who used to be a dating nightmare — he was the guy who didn’t call or broke up by text — and was reformed by the woman he loves, he is willing to tell all about what he learned! Jake answered a few questions especially for us.
Women don’t realize they are in control. They don’t realize that they win. They are in the driver’s seat. Fictions propagated by “Sex and the City”, The Rules, and moms everywhere have taught women that they need to “catch” someone, and that they are supposed to be submissive in the dating game. It’s a lie men take advantage of…often.
What is the most attractive thing about women to men, besides their physical appearance?
I’m not going to lie: we like the way you look. But up there, for me, is the sense of humor. If you can make me laugh consistently, we’ll be laughing all the way to the altar! To make a joke is to put yourself out there. So what we’re really talking about here is confidence. Confidence is sexy in all its manifestations: success, swagger, sense of humor, style (and those are just the “s”s).
How can you tell if a man is really into you?
“Really into you” is subjective. Depends what “you” really want. Women don’t all want the same thing, just like men don’t. That said, listening is key. When we’re into someone, we’re like detectives; nothing will get past us.
What makes a guy commit to one woman and not another?
There’s no one thing. Commitment involves a combination of hunger, desire, fear, love, lust, jealousy and sometimes alcohol. The movies lied to you. Julianne Moore and Katherine Heigl are liars. Commitment is a process, just like falling in love.
How can you tell if a man is marriage material?
I would say that a guy who is marriage material is someone who is willing to put you first. “Does this guy think of me before he thinks of himself?” In bed, in restaurants, in life.
What’s the biggest reason men lose interest?
We get bored. You stop challenging us. Ever wonder why people riot in countries where there is high unemployment? People with jobs are too busy to riot.