I agree with the title of this blog 100%. I have read so many stories about couples who have met via eHarmony in their seventies and beyond. This post comes from the very wise couple (and relationship coaches) Orna and Matthew Walters. Enjoy!
If you believe it is too late for you, or that you’ve waited too long, or whatever limiting belief you have about it – this is one myth we’d love to bust for you!
Our brain attempts to make love tangible, and therefore a limited concept of love is formed, however, this is not based in any universal law or truth. Love is so vast and limitless that it can be difficult to wrap our minds around it.
We hear from people all the time who tell us that we are “lucky” to have found each other. If you heard our individual stories, and all the mistakes we each made in relationships, “luck” would be the last word that you would choose to describe our journeys. We often joke that we became relationship experts because between the two of us we’ve made nearly every mistake one can make when it comes to love.
The truth is that we each took an intentional path to create the spiritual partnership that we have today. Long before we knew each other we each let go of a limiting belief about love, and the release of that belief allowed us to see the other in a new light. We had been attending the same business networking meeting once a month for over a year before we spoke to each other.
Creating love on purpose is not about WHERE you are, but WHO you are being out in the world. Stop looking for “where” to find good men, or spiritual men, or women who aren’t superficial that just want a man for their money and start paying close attention to what is going on inside of you affecting the choices you make every day.
Here are some of the actions you can take to create love in your life at any age:
1. Release the Past
Your Beloved will only come in if there is space for him/her to fill. The space must exist in your thoughts and in your heart. If you are hung up on an emotional hurt from the past, or pining away for the “one that got away,” there is simply so room for your Beloved.
Forgive yourself, forgive the other person, bless them, and move on!
2. Create the Vision for Your Ideal Relationship
Knowing what you do not want will not bring in what you desire. You must create a clear vision of how the relationship functions. How you feel when you are with this person – not a list that says how tall, what color hair, or how much money s/he has.
Take an objective look at the values that drive you in relationship and see if they are in alignment with the kind of relationship that you desire – if not, work with a coach or therapist to shift your values to be in alignment with the vision of your ideal relationship.
3. Take Different Actions
If you continue the same dating patterns, looking for love in the same places, how can you expect to have a different outcome? There is an old saying that goes “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.” Take a class in something new, join an online dating site, or work with a coach.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter if we believe there is a chance for you to meet someone, all that matters is what YOU believe is possible for you. The desire in your in heart exists because it can be fulfilled. It is never too late for love.
Release our society’s obsession with youth. Do not let this cultural addiction affect your mindset around love. How long do you plan to live? With medical advances, it is likely many of us currently in our 30s and 40s will live to and past 100. We do not subscribe to the belief that love is about luck and chance. We believe that our inside creates our outside; our beliefs about ourselves and the world create what we experience.
No one is going to make you feel better about yourself. The inner work that we guide our clients through allows them to feel good about themselves. Feeling good about themselves allows them to attract a better partner, a good match, and create a true soul partnership. This is the process of creating love on purpose – it is deep inner work, which creates powerful profound shifts in our client’s ability to manifest what they desire.
More at YourTango: