Today’s guest blog is from dating coach, author and YourTango expert Ronnie Ann Ryan, who makes a very good point about how a simple change in attitude can impact your life.
I saw a movie starring Jim Carrey called ‘The Yes Man’ that really made me think. In the film, Jim takes a personal development workshop and commits to saying “yes” to literally everything that comes his way. His life takes a wild ride as a result, with many zany adventures.
Yet, when you think about it, saying “yes” can have a tremendous, positive impact on your dating and your overall life experience as well. This is particularly true if you are prone to saying “no” which happens more frequently when dating after divorce or dating over 40. When working with my dating coaching clients, I ask them to stretch and think about: What might you say “yes” to?
A blind date with a friend’s brother;
Posting a profile online;
Meeting someone you connected with on a dating site;
Going to a singles dance with a friend or even solo;
Trying speed dating;
Talking to a good looking stranger at a bar;
Having a coffee date with a new man;
Practicing your flirting skills; or
Finding the right man for you and falling in love.
That’s a powerful list with loads of possibilities. And there are so many more!
On the other hand, when you say “no,” you limit yourself drastically. Being discerning is appropriate and smart. But being negative and limiting your opportunities consistently significantly minimizes the potential to achieve your desires. Again, this is true of dating and life.
When you say “no,” you are literally keeping yourself single. That’s okay if you prefer your single status But, if you want to find a loving partner, saying “no” on a regular basis does not serve you.
Have you ever said “no” to any of these questions?
Can I have your number or email?
Would you like to meet me for a drink?
Would you like to dance?
I have. I’m happily married now, but I’ll never forget a time when I was 24, I was with my friend Nancy and her boyfriend Scott playing pool and this nice guy started talking to me and joined our game. As we were leaving, he asked for my number. I didn’t know what to do and this had never happened to me before. Should I give him the number of not? My friends said not to and I felt torn. I left without divulging my digits. To this day I wonder about him. We had similar interests, and he was easy to talk to. He seemed like a nice guy, and he was a carpenter so he could build and fix things.
It was a crossroads in my life. There was an ember ready to build into a potentially nice fire, and I snuffed it out by negative thinking and saying “no.”
What about when you say “no” to yourself? That counts too.
I hate those singles dances;
I won’t date a man who is going bald;
Men who are more than three years older than me are out;
He’s nice but not my type;
Blind dates just aren’t my thing.
When you say “yes,” you allow the universe to help you meet your match by using positive thinking. When you meet lots of men, the right man has a chance to cross your path. When you say “yes” to situations and men, you are a pleasure to be with, live more fully and believe that all your efforts will pay off. And it will! It worked for me. It’s worked for millions of women.
Just for today, catch yourself when you want to say “no.” Say “yes” at least once when you want to say “no.” You can become a “yes” person and you can find the love you want.
People find love every day. Say “yes” and you could be next!
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