A coy smile, a lean in, a light touch on the arm – these can be signals that someone is into you. But what happens when you are separated by cyberspace and can’t see or touch the other person? How can you tell when the other person is flirting?
A study on cyber-flirting revealed how people show their interest in others online. They found that a lot of the things we do offline can have similar meanings online. Inspired by their research, here are a few things to look for to know if someone is interested:
- A good first impression – instead of setting the stage by doing their hair and wearing perfume or cologne, people online often put their best foot forward by describing their better traits and posting a flattering picture. A thoughtful profile can communicate that that person wants you to like them.
- A smile or laugh – without seeing someone’s face, use of emoticons like :) and acronyms like LOL (laughing out loud) can show a smile and a hearty laugh. Use of flirtier faces like winks
and giggles (hehe) may communicate even more intimacy. - Responding – and responding quickly. Getting a message back that addresses previous conversations or facts can be a sign that someone gets you, and getting a message quickly may show their excitement in you as well.
- Self-disclosure – intimacy in any relationship grows as both people get to know each other. Having someone tell you their personal story is just as important as them listening to yours.
- Compliments – nothing’s clearer than a flat out compliment. It shows not only that they like you but what specifically they like about you.
Not every flirting signal translates well online – like leaning in or biting your lip. Some behaviors may be saved for your first meeting in person. What are some things you do to flirt online?
Similar articles from eHarmony Labs that you might enjoy:
- What Type of Flirt Are You? – find out more about common flirting behaviors and the kinds of relationships that come from them
- Sexual intentions are written all over your face – subtle facial cues can help you know whether someone is interested in sex or a relationship and it turns out we’re pretty good at it
- How can you tell if someone is interested? – most people are bad at knowing whether someone is interested in them, but promiscuous men and kind women are better at telling
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
I am not a fan of emoticons. They are childish and over-used. A grown man that would use those would be a turn-off. In fact I dated a man 17 years my senior and his use of “How r u” and “:)” and “LOL” in the end showed his immaturity and insecurity by trying to be relevant and hip. No thanks! Please take the extra ten seconds to use proper grammar, spelling, and thought with your emails and texts.
I am a huge fan of emoticons and any other means to shorten my txtg, yet still communicate. I am 47. I often have ppl try to embarrass me into proper grammar, etc when I’m txtg, IMing or emailing. I am a college grad and know who to write very well, tyvm. But if I want to shorten my efforts when in the informal realm, that’s my choice. If you don’t get that, TY for telling me that so I Can Move On to someone not so pretentious, thinking they are better than I.
It’s not about being hip or relevant nor being insecure or immature ROFL It’s about the ability to communicate still while being oustide conventional English. It’s almost a game, but when I’m txtg especially, it’s becuz it just takes too damn long to key in it all LOL
I love the use of emoticons. It lets you know what the person is thinking because words can definitely be taken the wrong way without being able to see someone’s face. It’s the next best thing.