Are You a Bad Date? The Ten Signs Pointing to Yes

April 23, 2012

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Today’s guest blog comes from YourTango contributor/relationship coach Hadley Finch – who reminds us all what never to do on a first date – or any date, if possible.

baddate 300x225 Are You a Bad Date? The Ten Signs Pointing to YesEver wonder why your initial dates rarely lead to a great dating relationship? Find out if you’re unknowingly doing or saying things to turn off a potential love match and discover what to do instead. Below are ten warning signs that you are a not-so-great date and a few suggestions on what to do instead:

1. You arrive late for a date or change plans last minute instead of honoring your date’s feelings and your commitment to be together as planned.

2. You stare at attractive people who pass by or allow distractions of cell phones, text messages and/or silent vibes to interrupt your dating conversation instead of devoting your full attention to your date. Remember, where your attention goes your affection grows!

3. You exaggerate your accomplishments and dating goals instead of being honest so that your date can decide if your life experiences and dating goals are a good match.

4. You bog down the mood with heavy, negative stories from your past instead of starting fresh and creating exciting new stories on your own with your new potential love match.

5. You pressure a commitment quickly or invite a date to an event two months later instead of allowing time to get to know each other and discovering if you can create a solid dating relationship based on shared values, chemistry and complementary interests.

6. You use electronic communication to confirm dates or to keep track of your date’s online dating activities instead of making a human connection your priority and dealing with dating issues face-to-face.

7. You control conversations with a monologue about yourself instead of finding common ground, asking about your date and becoming an active listener as an act of love.

8. You pass judgment, put down your date’s dreams or suggest that your date change to fit your ideals instead of accepting your date — quirks and all — as you determine if you are a compatible love match.

9. You criticize your date’s family or physical flaws that can’t be changed instead of commenting on their strengths, special qualities and the ways you bring out the best in each other.

10. You talk about how busy you are with work and family obligations instead of making room in your life for love and making a new priority of your loving relationship. This, of course, is assuming you’d like a loving relationship to last.

What other bad dating behaviors would you add to the list?

More from Hadley Finch and at YourTango:

Secrets of Coffee Shop Flirting

Can a Compliment Improve Your Relationship? 

Should We Make Up? 

 

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