Is there something about a person that makes him/her cheat no matter the relationship or the circumstance? According to recent research, there are individual differences that make a person more prone to cheat.
Specifically, cheating has been related to executive control – the ability to curb impulsive behaviors for the benefit of long term goals. Executive control can be measured in a number of ways including the ability to work on multiple tasks simultaneously or to manipulate a large amount of information by memory. The idea is that more control a person has in his/her working memory, the greater the ability to regulate thoughts and impulses.
People in romantic relationships with less executive control stated that they had more difficulty staying faithful to their partner. They also flirted more with attractive strangers and were more likely to want to to meet an attractive stranger in person.
For some, cheating can be a compulsion – an inability to resist an opportunity to be with someone else no matter the consequences. If you have a hard time resisting temptation, here are a few tips:
- Don’t make decisions when you’re tired or stressed. Since cognitive ability is important in impulse regulation, good sleep and relaxation can make for better decisions. Research shows that infidelity occurs more in times of psychologically distress.
- Remember the long-term goal – research shows that reminding people of love reduces feelings of attraction to others.
Understanding how people cheat may help increase behaviors to prevent cheating. For more information, here are a few similar articles from eHarmony Labs that you might enjoy:
- Forbidden Fruit: The Cause and Effects of Temptation – Find out what causes attraction to others and what you can do about it
- Is Monogamy Possible? – Learn more about the prevalence of monogamy in relationships and the known risk factors of infidelity.
- Jealousy in an Online World – Find out what makes us jealous and how it manifests in an online world
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
Some people just seem to have no ability to resist temptation. It’s almost the same as having an addictive personality.
Some men just know how to cheat with out being found out as in my case i found out that my ex had cheated after i threw him out the whole 29yrs we were married, and i never suspected that he was. sometimes it’s more than an addiction.
Some people can not committt. They aren’t capable of being faithful. The thrill of the chase and the experiences of someone new is too hard to give up.
If someone has cheated in the past, understand the whole story and make a decision. The risk of heartache is huge if that person has a history of cheating. In my opinion, it isn’t worth it.
I cannot agree more. Commitment phobia. I had a bride run out on me at the altar. Some cannot commit and to recognize people who are ” not available” is difficult indeed. Sometimes we attract or are attracted to these particular types and we must recognize them to avoid further incidents . Placing one’s trust in someone and losing it is invasive .
Not sure about the psychology of cheating, but in my opinion once a person has gone over that line they will probably do it again. Like Cayth… found out my wife of 16 years was cheating and it was over. Above all other things, to me marriage = trust. If you don’t have trust there is no marriage. I think people have a real issue with conflict and if someone is having a hard enough time in a relationship they are considering cheating.. that is some big conflict waiting to happen. Easier to run than stay and fight for your marriage.