Admit it, dudes–you’re the picky ones!

Bobzeaux – Your points are valid. One thing that I have noticed is that some of the women on eHarmony know what they want (they say) but don’t see what is in front of them. While I personally am browsing for a female who “has their crap together”, I am also avoiding those who are set in their ways. While this may sound negative to some – personal confidence, goals and a clear path are great. However, a “damn the torpedos, full speed ahead” while also looking for someone are two mindsets at odds. If you are going to head into a relationship and you take the stance that “they have to conform to what I do” (for either the male or female) – it won’t work long term. You are not going to find a perfect image of yourself in the opposite gender – successful relationships take compromise and a union of two people who want to work together to find things they can share.

Kat – There is some deception on this site. I have met a few females here for dates, and have heard a few tell me “I met the guy and he looked nothing like his pictures whatsoever”. Now we hope this is not the case, but this could lead to the “eye-balling” scenario – especially is one has had the displeasure of this occurring more than once.

Everyone else – While having boundaries are vital to being single, they must dissipate over time within a relationship. Anyone here who has ever been in a relationship where both people didn’t (over time) reveal themselves fully to the other knows that this creates “walls”. These barriers prevent your relationship from ever moving from great to amazing.

While we all know compromises are key, and compatibility is a must, if you are not approaching a relationship where you are willing to adjust your schedule, so things you used to not do, or are generally stubborn it will not last. If this is the case, you shouldn’t be looking in the first place until your mindset changes.

As with others, I feel like this article does not move me any closer to anything. I am in a good space, I’m very outgoing, talk to anyone, I am constantly getting into activities, and have been told that I’m pretty a few times =]. I have definitely established boundaries, am confident, yet open. But, no mate, and no prospects since 2007. Don’t know what gives, and neither do my VERY HONEST friends (male included ranging from my age of 35 to 30 years my senior). No one gets what the issue may be…

Wither regard to your response to Sherry though… Although it is possible that she -might- be ‘picky,’ yes… It came off to me as well… rather trite and a bit insulting.

You insinuate that the answer may lie in her being ‘picky,’ and we all know the connotations that accompany the usage of that word (read: women are most often too picky).

You know, sometimes, it’s okay not to have an answer, even when someone is looking for one. And even when you are supposed to be an ‘authority.’

It’s a whole hell of a lot better to admit that you’re not sure than someone offending, insulting, or dismissing someone just to save face to appear knowledgeable or correct.

Sorry dude. My two…

1. You’re ambivalent about entering into a committed, intimate relationship.
No, I’m perfectly FINE about entering a committed, intimate relationship. However, men who are fine with being in a committed relationship are immediately classified as creepy and stalkerish, so that does me no good whatsoever.

2. You make finding a man more important than finding happiness.
Aren’t we all trying to find that special someone for the sake of finding happiness in the first place? If we were happy despite our singlehood, why bother even looking?

3. You don’t value yourself enough to set boundaries.
Most people would say I’m single BECAUSE of the boundaries and standards I’ve established for myself.