When people think of gossip, it’s often an image of mean high school girls smacking gum and trading rumors about an unsuspecting third party. And laughing- always the laughing. It’s hard to believe that gossip could ever be more than an illicit derisive past time. But what if the rumors were
true? Gossip could then serve as a protective and cooperative enterprise: sharing negative information about a third party that in turn protects others from that behavior. Several bad date and vendor review websites come to mind.
Researchers at UC Berkeley are looking at just this kind of communication, labeled prosocial gossip, to see if it indeed is used in this way. The study had participants watch individuals play a game where one person cheated in order to keep more money. Their heart rate went up, and they felt an increase of negative feelings on behalf of the victim of the game. Participants eagerly took the opportunity to warn (i.e. gossip with) future players of the cheater in the game. It was only by gossiping that their heart rate went down and their negative feelings were ameliorated. Gossip used in this way can help you decrease your feelings of injustice and safeguard those around you from potential harm. Go ahead- write that negative review! Warn others about that guy misusing the dating site!
Of course, not everyone gossips to protect others. Sometimes it just feels good. In fact, holding similar negative opinions towards a third party has been shown to bring strangers closer together. Why? When you share a lightly held negative belief with a stranger- and this belief is reciprocated- you feel like you know them better (and more than if you shared a similarly positive belief). Have you ever been on a date and bonded over your mutual dislike of some restaurant, band, or movie star? This is another type of gossip in action. One reason why this might be a bonding situation is that sharing negative beliefs is somewhat of a risk- if it is not shared, people may want to distance themselves.
There are plenty of ways in which gossip can be destructive. Gossiping with malicious intent or as a form of indirect aggression has damaging results. However, there are some instances where gossip not only helps you physically and mentally, it helps others as well.
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I highly agree with that thought. Its like pro-gossip. It seems that most people view gossip as a negative thing, but when gossip is used in a positive manner it can serve positive results, vise versa.
That is true. I personally believe that how much you can gossip about your partner you will feel good from your inside. I would say this is not a gossip this is only share your feelings that’s all.
Righting a wrong would make you feel better but this ‘right a wrong’ was to the ‘wronged’ person, not the one inflicting the wrong. Meaning the ‘feel good’ was the feeling of self righteousness. Not a good thing. They should have addressed the cheater to make it ‘right’. People have an issue with confrontation so they gossip and things are not ‘made right’,…. they fester. We are to address the offender. Gossiping is not the answer. Shame on you eHarmony for allowing this to go in, this isn’t Biblical. If the cheater was confronted immediately, the situation would have been defused,..there would be no need for ‘gossip’. At no time is gossip a ‘good’ thing. Heather, guard yourself from this type of none Biblical message, and please don’t spread the poison to the rest of us.
I think you missed the point… She is explaining (with references) why people do it. That’s it.
I think you missed the point Whoosh. She is suggesting that it is not only OK to gossip, but that you should do it because it will make you feel better. Faith has it correct. Gossip is NEVER a good thing. Yes it might bring about a shared bond with another gossiper but that only makes it gossip times 2. My philosophy is to never say anything about someone that I wouldn’t say to their face. there is a reason why we feel guilty if the person you are gossiping about finds out what you said…because it is WRONG. I don’t disagree that we should warn others of people who intend to do us harm in some way, but the described situation of gossiping to protect someone is not gossip.. Learn your definitions Heather!