Comments on: Letting Go

By: devin

devin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:53:13 +0000

Starting to date again is key: I’ve often felt that I wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship again right after a break up, but in the US we tend to forget that casual dating and just making friends with people through dates is a good idea, too.

By: photography

photography — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 06:37:47 +0000

I let her know that I have feeling for her but I’m scared because I still feel wounded. She understands and agrees that slow is best right now. She has told me that she see something truly special in me and the way I can openly express my feelings.

By: KW2 - LED bike light

KW2 - LED bike light — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 14:04:59 +0000

100% of the time, your life will get even better than before once you meet another person that fits you. You just have to let it happen and get over the past. You have so much more to offer to the right person.
Am I still single? Yes, but in a better place now than before. Once you decide to let it all go and REALLY focus on your life in ALL areas, regardless of how hard it is. You will be happier than you’ve ever imagined. Everything falls into place, including the right person.

By: B

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:58:40 +0000

Oh ya, forgiveness is a key factor. Sounds funny, but if you forgive, you forget.
And cleaning out the broom closet of all the old pictures and mutual friends and FB links, only helps your situation immensely!

By: B

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:45:49 +0000

The bottom line is, it is very hard to let go know matter who you are, male or female. We’ve all been broken up with, we’ve all done the breaking up. Whatever the reasons, good or bad it is a part of life and relationships. I was with my last long-term gf for almost 7 years, until it ran it’s course and we both had to make a mature decision and let it all go. Both of us were not happy at doing this but we were mature enough to realize that carrying on trying to sort through our lives together was not the best option. We had to be true to ourselves and each other and end it. Like every ending of a relationship, the “rip it off like a bandage”, approach really is hard to implement. We remained in contact, sleeping together, more or less for comfort and in the back of my mind I knew she was using me until she found another person to take care of her and treat her like I did. I was right. Did I get upset? Of course, I’m human and the ” I told you so’s”, in my head were well warranted. But after moving away within a few short months to pursue a better career life in the city, and to gain some mental clarity and attempt to shake off the pas, I realized in a saddened state one day that the old idiom is true. If you spend all of your time sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, dwelling on the past, trying to make sense of what happened. Over analyzing your scenario until the point of total mental collapse, you WILL pick your head up one day look around and realize you’re a lot older then when you started into this depressive state and that the time you’ve wasted is completely lost! Life is way to short to sit around and think about the Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda’s.
100% of the time, your life will get even better than before once you meet another person that fits you. You just have to let it happen and get over the past. You have so much more to offer to the right person.
Am I still single? Yes, but in a better place now than before. Once you decide to let it all go and REALLY focus on your life in ALL areas, regardless of how hard it is. You will be happier than you’ve ever imagined. Everything falls into place, including the right person.

By: Jim

Jim — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:13:37 +0000

It is so dam hard! My heart was broken the day after Thanksgiving. 4 months (I know it’s not that long) everything was perfect, not one fight, not one disagreement. An amazing 10 day trip to Lake Powell. Magical weekends together. It seemed like we were totally compatible. We talked so much about the things we loved about each other, about our future together, about our deepest hopes and dreams. We communicated openly and honestly. I was blindsided, devastated, my heart was shattered! Not only did I feel that I had lost the girl of my dreams, but also her dog that I really came to love and her daughter who I had also become close with. After meeting her parents at Thanksgiving and everything going great I was sure she was the one! That night the rejection started. The next day I’m told “I don’t think I can give you what you want.” All sorts of projections about me! No talk of we can work through this like we had discussed earlier in our relationship. She had told me that we could always work out any issues that came up because I was such a great guy. I wasn’t afraid to talk about my feeling openly and honestly. I listened to her feeling and I modeled vulnerability, trust and compassion. Now it’s over, no real reasons, just BS! Her tears and “I’m afraid I’ll never find another guy like you” and “I’m so proud of what you are doing with your life”. But it is over. I’ve worked past the sadness and sorrow. I don’t cry every day anymore. The empty feeling in my gut is gone. I stuck with my work out program. I’ve lost over 35 pound and I feel and look great! I’m back on my feet and meeting new women. I tell myself “Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone that can’t love me the way I deserve to be loved?” I got myself a rescue dog on New Year’s Eve. That has helped. My counselor helped me a great deal, telling me that she hit an emotional wall, got scared and freaked out! Telling me to stay away from her! No contact! She made a huge mistake and it is best for me to let her go, to let go of the past and to move on…
Two month later I have met someone new and it looks very promising. I’m taking it slow. I’m being totally open and honest with her. I let her know that I have feeling for her but I’m scared because I still feel wounded. She understands and agrees that slow is best right now. She has told me that she see something truly special in me and the way I can openly express my feelings. I’m focused on the future, the hope and the faith I have that everything will work out and that the X was not the right one for me. Her loss! Hang tough, it is an abundant world and there is someone better out there for you!

By: nate

nate — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:58:42 +0000

Good luck out there.

By: jan

jan — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:48:46 +0000

I am on step four and five of letting go. Its been a year since i ended my relationship of 8yrs. Its been a long process and i know i still and will always love the guy. Hopefully soon i can completely let go and move on.

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:44:28 +0000

Im kinda going through the same thing. I keep getting told that you cant make someone love you, you have to let them go. If they dont see the mistake, its their loss.

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:43:09 +0000

My question is, what do you do when you are blindsided after a year of dating? I noticed my now ex was getting a little distant, when I asked her about it, whe said it was things from work on her mind. Obviously, she was still thinking of either how she was going to end it or if she really wanted to end it. She told me she loved me, then told me it was a front because she wanted to be there but just wasnt. She claims she just isnt ready for a long term relationship after being 3 year out of a 14 year marriage. I have taken the cold turkey approach, and took her off Facebook, both as friends and her pictures. A family member of mine is still friends with her and told me she has cut me out of her pictures in response to me taking hers down.