Intellect, humor, kindness – in comparison to other characteristics, physical attractiveness often falls lower on the list of ideal qualities people look for in a partner, especially for women. Until recently, researchers thought that having a physically attractive partner was more important to men than women. However, a recent study shows that women are equally likely as men to pick a romantic partner based on looks, in some settings anyway.
Through a series of studies, researchers investigated how important physical attractiveness was in an ideal partner. They measured importance in 2 ways: 1) directly – by asking people, and 2) indirectly – through associations and reaction times – a measure of unconscious desires. Incidentally, what people said they wanted in a partner and what they unconsciously wanted were not related.
Men were more likely than women to say that they valued physical attraction in an ideal partner. When choosing partners from photographs, men who valued physical attractiveness in a partner were more likely to choose dates who were physically attractive.
The story changed when participants were asked if they wanted to date someone after meeting them in person (rather than just seeing a photograph). People were more likely to pick good-looking date if they unconsciously desired physical attractiveness in a mate. Women were just as likely as men to choose someone based on physical attractiveness.
The bottom line – what you say you are looking for and what you want can be two different things. When you are picking someone from a profile, logic might reign but after meeting someone in person, your gut instincts might matter more. In other words, while logic might tell you looks don’t matter, your instincts could be saying something completely different.
Similar articles from eHarmony Labs that you might like:
- How your attractiveness affects your perception of others – Why do we have such difficulty in accurately reading sexual cues from others?
- Do High Maintenance Women Snag Better Mates?- Considering all the work involved, is it worth dating a high maintenance woman?
- How to choose a good profile picture – Recent research may help you decide on the best photo to post. Learn more.
- The Importance of Physical Attraction in Marriages – Does physical attraction matter once relationships are established? According to research, the answer is yes, but not in the ways you might expect.
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
Absolutely it is important for women to feel physically attracted to a potential male partner. Since when did it not matter? Men would like us to believe it doesn’t matter and that is obvious in some of the TV sitcoms and movies out there. The woman, who could be the wife or girlfriend in the show is drop dead gorgeous and fit, her husband or partner on the other hand could be considered obese or just so so. Want proof, watch the children’s sit com, “Whats Up Charlie.” or “Wizards of Waverly Place”.
Women are just as entitled to think they deserve physically attractive mates as well. We need the world to stop trying to make it appear we don’t.
I belive that a person should be happh, and look for some one that can make them laugh and be content with all speres of life, And love each other, For all the good things that will bring them.
So true. Especially meeting in person vs. seeing a photograph. Sorry eHarmony but my success meeting girls in person is 20 times more effective than through online, not that I’m giving up on that.
Looks are important initially, but as time goes on, a persons personality will make them more or less attractive. Of course we need to be able to stomach how our partners look, but any lasting relationship needs to have much much more than just physical attraction.