1. JCase attacks the idea that people who get married at 21 might have a higher divorce rate than someone that marries at, say, 40. He/She writes that, “Wrong! Last statistics I’ve seen, whether you first marry at 21, 31, or 41, your probability of the marriage lasting is nearly exactly the same.”

Below is a break-out of divorce rates based on when the marriages begins. You can see that the age of the people who marry does indeed matter.

Age at marriage for those who divorce in the United States

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Age Women Men
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Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

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http://www.divorcepeers.com/statistics.htm

2. Many people have posted charges of sexism because this article is about men cheating. We get this same response whenever we post anything that deals with a problem from one perspective i.e. women who nag, men who are commitment phobes, women who are golddiggers, etc. Writing an article about men who cheat, makes no statement about female infidelity one way or the other. It certainly doesn’t claim that women are always faithful. We all know that both genders cheat, but this particular article is about a single topic – male infidelity. We’ve written about women who cheat in the past, and we’ll do it again in the future, but this isn’t that article.

3. Some readers have expressed shock that this particular blog post is “just my opinion”. Yes, if you look through the blog section of this site there are many opinions. It is not an uninformed opinion, but it is my perspective on the issue. The articles that we publish on advice.eharmony.com are not, typically, just opinion. Although on occasion we’ve had guest writers who just share their thoughts on an issue. This blog, and many others, are mainly the personal opinions of the blogger. You’re free to agree or disagree.

4. Some readers believe that I’ve ignored the integrity of the man as an important factor in whether he might cheat. Certainly if he is a man who is able to attract a partner for his infidelity, then his character will be the determining factor as to whether he will cheat. I do mention in the article that a “sexual guy COULD be a monument to fidelity.” That said, it’s very hard for a woman who is choosing a man to gauge his character. I’m willing to bet that a huge percentage of the women who have been devastated by a cheating spouse believed him to be a man of character. Isn’t that why they chose him in the first place?

5. For the record, I am certain that many men can be attractive and faithful. If that seems unclear. I apologize.

6. Some of called the article useless, or stupid, or silly, so let me tell you why I wrote it. When I think about the single women friends* I have who are searching for men there is a common tendency among them to be impressed by men who are “great with women”. These men are suave, charming, sexy, and generally able to attract and pick-up women quite easily. I’ve heard my friends say, “He’s so hot,” and “He’s the whole package,” as a way of saying, “I really want to be with a man like that.” These women have a tendency to ignore normal men, geeky men, reserved men because those guys don’t demonstrate a suave nature around women. Reserved men sometimes have an inherent awkwardness that these women look down upon.

What I’ve tried to tell these women is that since you want a long term relationship and someone to love and be faithful to you, please beware of the man who has learned how to seduce women with great ease. Once he has learned that trick, it may be hard for him to turn it off. Is that fair? Maybe not. Maybe there is a great seducer of women who is a faithful loving man, and now I’ve besmirched his good name. But, as I outlined in my piece when you’re talking to the people you love…your children, your friends, your family…and they want advice you have to tell them where you think their best odds lay, and not worry so much about the other people in the scenario.

I’m not suggesting that they look for an ugly man with no social skills. Rather, they should consider the man who may not be Mr. Smooth as a man who is a diamond in the rough.

*Typical single female friends – 28 to 40, professionals, urban, attractive.

Wow, really? Wrong! Last statistics I’ve seen, whether you first marry at 21, 31 or 41, your probability of the marriage lasting is nearly exactly the same.

That pretty much kills this author’s credibility before he got out of the gate.