Comments on: Dating Don’t: ‘And Then He Said…’

By: talligirl

talligirl — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 04:15:47 +0000

Yes this has certainly happened to me and this is very very good advice. In fact I will never air my grievances again to “friends”. I had a a very bad experience with the so called friend later. Turns out she herself is really unstable and my stuff really disturbed her I think. If you are having problems in a relationship its best to seek counseling, unfortunately friends have their own problems and can rarely really help the situations anyway. Unless you really know this person and they can handle your problems its best to seek expert help.

By: Dee

Dee — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 18:46:14 +0000

This is the worst things women do. We need to keep our mouths shut. Just because you forgive him and move on, doesn’t mean your family/friends will too.
I learned this early on. I now know who and what to say when it’s OK to say it.

By: Rose

Rose — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 04:11:11 +0000

I am SO guilty of this!! I came from a background of “Shout it to the mountain!” and I have a very bad habit that
I am continuing to work on, to try and break this nasty cycle.

It ends up being completely awkward when “things get better”. It also adversely affects your relationship due to the focus on negativity, rather than the gifts one has. If the bad outweighs the good during dating, then just get out and let your friends know, without explicit details in most cases, why. If you choose to stay in it, despite the bad outweighing the good, then you need to button up, as you are making the choice to stay despite the unhealthiness. Chances are you need to seek counsel to find out why you’re staying in something that isn’t good for you.

I end up talking to my guy, or writing him, about my issues; but I definitely agree it should mostly be kept between you two. Everyone encounters life’s struggles, and I can be just as difficult to be around.

My guy is very private, and I feel guilty when I’ve shared things with my friends that I know he would cringe at. That also silently works against us.

There is no magic formula to relationships, no matter what kind they are. We hopefully learn from our mistakes, become stronger and strive to get along. Life is work, but choosing to stay in the game, not give up, is what we all want for each other, and ourselves.

By: Levi Lexier

Levi Lexier — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:03:37 +0000

I love Julie so much, that I don’t care if someone doesn’t like me or Julie. All of my friends and family have accepted Julie. I just don’t understand why a guy would leave the woman he loves if his family or a certain friend doesn’t like his girlfriend.

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 04:29:10 +0000

Not so. Communication between the couple is what will cement the relationship. Telling others only fractures the foundation for communicating when one partner realizes everything discussed will be re-broadcast to others, who then will be expressing their opinions when they’re not even involved and its none of their business!

By: Faith

Faith — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 23:36:25 +0000

I agree with many women here stating guys gossip more then women.

They have no boundaries when it comes to gossip, guys being so competitive, they share all the wrong things. We do too.

The point is, address the issue with the person themselves. It becomes a disloyalty to the relationship when you share with others.

I went the other way, boasting about my guy’s ‘talents’ with a childhood ‘friend’ I thought I could trust!

She decide to ‘sample’ my guy. There goes the ‘friendship’ and the guy!

It was a one night stand for them, and a life time lesson for me.

We women have to find ‘Men’.

There is a difference between a ‘guy’ and a Man…, Maturity, Respect, Integrity and Honor.
I learned the hard way.

By: Patrice

Patrice — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:37:19 +0000

This is so true. In the past I use to vent to my frens about my boyfren, then my boyfren & I would work things out. But the problem would be my frens look & him in a negative lite & didn’t want him 2 hang around them anymore. Also, men don’t like it when u share their business with frens. It’s a turn off. Don’t do it. Keep ur issues between the 2 of u.

By: Heather

Heather — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 07:32:21 +0000

Why is this called “Dating Don’t for Women…” … this is a dating don’t for men too; and to be honest some of my male friends do the most gossip-complaining about their significant others than any of the women I know.

By: Good Girlfriend

Good Girlfriend — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 05:12:53 +0000

Being able to provide your partner a safe place to share his/her most intimate thoughts and feelings with you without feeling the need to share those intimacies with others strengthens the bond between you and is a sign of maturity in a relationship. You are in relationship with one person – that’s why the Good Book says that a man will leave home and and become one with his wife and vice versa as in “cleave one unto the other” — not to the in-laws or best buds. Though that is in religious context and refers to marriage, it is still great romantic relationship advice. I would be mortified if my boyfriend told his friends my most tightly held feelings [and they are not drug or crime-related] – just things I would want him to honor in recognition of his regard for me and our relationship.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 05:07:20 +0000

I agree with you 100%. women share to bond, vent and move on. WE know that. if men dont- thats something THEY need to work on. Like Lesson said, I too, find that the only pl that dont want you to talk to your friends or family, are those ppl who are behaving badly and dont want that light shining on them, letting the world see them behaing badly, when really, if they were treating ppl properly- me telling the world about it ( not just my best friend) would do NOTHING to make my partner look bad. Be transparent. hide nothing. or- you will get what you give.