Our guest bloggers today are Ann, Pat & Tish, authors of “Love for Grown-Ups: The Garter Brides’ Guide to Marrying for Life When You’ve Already Got a Life” (Harlequin Non-Fiction), a relationship guide for women over 35 on how to meet Mr. Right, marry and find life-long happiness. They talk about why they’re happy they got married later than the storybooks predict.
None of us was kidnapped by a terrorist, nor were all the women we interviewed for our book, but they all are very happily married and very happy they waited to find the man of their dreams, because when you choose to marry later in life, that’s just who you marry. You’re wise to the relationship hazards that used to snag you and know what’s important in a partner and you’re ready to meet a man as an equal on every level.
Who were the men we connected with in our twenties? Pat says, “I always sabotaged myself and went with the bad boy who didn’t want a committed relationship.” Tish says ,“I spent years with a man I didn’t realize didn’t want to get married again.” Or like Ann, we married them and after too much wasted time, got divorced! Not happy times for any of us, and we all had to do some real soul-searching to be able to move on and make the happy rewarding lives we treasure. As Ann says, “I never thought I could be this happy.”
Each of us had done a lot of dating, established ourselves in our careers, and we’ve all been in situations that could have used Sigmund Freud and Emily Post to finesse. We’ve learned to “think on our feet” and that’s given us the ability to be flexible and handle situations with grace. When you’re in your twenties, you tend to be overly concerned with other people’s expectations of what your life should be. As one bride we spoke to said, “When I got married for the first time my mother picked everything – including the groom.” When you’re more mature, you make a life that suits you, not the life other people think you should have.
We’ve found that women who waited a bit were more mature in understanding what they needed and wanted in a relationship. A Garter Bride described her relationship this way, “Being a mature bride has its advantages. My husband and I knew what we needed as individuals. We don’t look to each other to fill some emotional gap. We are able to look to each other for companionship and fun.” You’re both looking for someone you can respect, have a good time with, have great sex with, and know that you can rely on.”
The joy of being a grown-up bride is that you can make the life you want together. You create your own expectations; you don’t have to live up to anyone else’s idea of what your life should be. Also, finding love later in life has an anti-aging benefit. Happiness does that!
Learn more about the book here — Love for Grown-Ups: The Garter Brides’ Guide to Marrying for Life When You’ve Already Got a Life!