I obviously don’t know Kim Kardashian personally, but it really seemed (from the E! series) that she desperately wanted to carry out her lifelong dream of the fairytale wedding. She had to watch her sister walk down the aisle, her other sister became a mom, and then there she was – single and nearly 30.
This is a very common mindset that leads many of us into making big mistakes. She met Kris Humphries, jumped into a relationship and million-dollar marriage. It seems she wanted to find that prince charming so much that she overlooked some fundamental differences they had.
According to news reports, a main point of contention was that the two hadn’t really talked about the future, where they would settle down, etc. I mean, they barely had time to get to know each other before they were meeting with Vera Wang and swept up in the wedding haze.
Kris, reportedly, wanted to live in his hometown of Minnesota. Did he not notice how incredibly tight-knit her family is? I would bet that she would never be that far away from them, or the spotlight.
So, what lessons can we learn from Kim’s split?
* Do not get swept away and make any big decisions (like marriage!) within six months of meeting someone.
* Don’t allow your judgment to be clouded by an internal ticking clock.
* Talk to your partner about important things (like where to live!) before you make big commitments.
* Make sure you share the same values.
* There’s tremendous wisdom in dating for, at least, a couple years before you marry. You want to see the other person in every conceivable situation - happy, angry, depressed, defeated, joyous, etc.
* If you find you’re spending more time thinking about the wedding than the marriage, you’ve got a problem.
I hope Kim eventually will have time to reflect on what led to all of this – and not repeat the same mistakes in any future relationships. That is all any of us can hope for!
See what eHarmony founder Neil Clark Warren had to say about marriage here.