Recently, I read a study by International Telecommunication Union that estimated mobile phone subscriptions increased from 4.6 billion to 5.3 billion from 2009 to 2010, which means about 77 percent of the world’s population has a mobile phone now. With the staggering increase of people who have mobile phones, our world is more connected than ever. Phones give us the ability to keep in touch with loved ones who are around the world, or even across the street. Distance between you and a loved one is no longer a problem; and with mobile phones, you can be on the move and still keep in contact with your friends and family. Along with calls on your mobile phone, text messaging (also known as short messages service, or SMS) allows people to keep in constant contact, which can create a new form of connectedness with your social network. But with the increase of the use of these newer forms of communication, what kinds of things can you expect in the dating world?
Imagine you meet someone new, and you think there’s a possibility for something more there, so you exchange numbers. Who should make the first move in calling the other and starting the adventure of getting to know one another – the man or the woman? And how should it be done – with a phone call or a text? A study by Byrne & Findlay (2004) compared how men and women prefer to make a first move. They found that men were overall more likely to make the first move, and would do so more often by calling than texting, whereas women were more likely to make the first move by sending a text. However, they also showed that when they did make the first move, women were just as likely as men to send a text message. This can be seen as men and women both still following the traditional roles in dating, where men should be the pursuers of the women. In women, the reason they may prefer texting to calling could be just to send a flirtatious message to suggest interest, and reveal that they want to be called.
When it comes to asking the other out on a first date, similar patterns of preference were seen. Overall, men were more likely to ask women out on a first date, and would more often call than text. Both men and women were equally unlikely to use a text message as a way of asking someone out. Again, both men and women seem to hold these traditional roles in dating, where men are pursuing women in asking them out on a date. However, the fact that men are not more likely to ask women out via text message may suggest that a text may not signify as much formality or desire. With a telephone call, a man would be risking more and putting himself out there by having that immediate response and having a live dialogue with the woman.
What happens if you start dating a “texter”?
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
It today’s age of technology we have lost the ability to communicate face to face. Texting allows us a feeling of safety when saying something difficult or uncomfortable because we don’t have to see the other persons reaction. I would much rather have a phone call from a man than a text as I would much rather call. Really what is there to be afraid of…
I agree with the above statement. These days we live in a world where students walk their school’s hallways with heads bowed and phones out, not speaking to anyone, but texting. Or where people in adjoining rooms will send messeges to each other via facebook instead of simply walking a few feet to have a conversation. In dating, its the same. I used to have girlfriend who almost flat out refused to talk via phone, because it made her uncomfortable, but when I said that was unhealthy, I became the bad guy. If we can’t talk to each other on the phone, then the next step is not talking to each other face-to-face, until eventually the people you converse with stop being people, and simply become written characters on a screen, with their personalities and characters shaped by your own interpretation of how they are trying to sound. Ask yourselves how many misunderstandings you’ve been a part of during a “Textversation,” that could have been completely avoided by something as basic and simple as being able to hear someones tone of voice, or the inflections that they use in their speach.
I prefer a mix of both texting and talking on the phone. I don’t want to text a whole conversation for an hour, when I can have a 20 minute phone conversation instead.
I’m tech savvy however from my experience texting removes all emotions. When trying to build a relationship texting should not be a tool. Sad to say most men I’ve exchanged emails online with only want to text.
What happened to the “good ol days”?