Comments on: The 6 Month Rule http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2011/09/29/the-6-month-rule/ eHarmony experts’ take on dating, relationships and the science of love Mon, 11 Mar 2013 14:53:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: joann http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2011/09/29/the-6-month-rule/#comment-4959 joann Tue, 22 Nov 2011 04:33:30 +0000 http://advice3.prod.dc1.eharmony.com/blog/?p=9665#comment-4959 The truth is, you can never be 100% sure you know someone. 6 hours, 6 months, 6 years… you can easily find people who have lived with someone leading a double life for years and years. I mean, look no further than Jerry Sandusky. If he’s married, which I don’t know if he is but he’s just an example, then the wife surely didn’t know THAT about him! I thought I knew my partner so well. Turns out he concealed a lot of things for 3 years. So much for 6 months! My advice is ALWAYS to pay good attention to red flags. ALWAYS learn why their previous relationships ended (not details about the people, but the patterns). And ALWAYS have a strong set of boundaries and values.

]]> By: Tom http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2011/09/29/the-6-month-rule/#comment-4168 Tom Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:32:31 +0000 http://advice3.prod.dc1.eharmony.com/blog/?p=9665#comment-4168 I don’t know about 6 months, but I do agree about taking time for things to develop. I’ve been single for 4 years and I continually meet men who present themselves one way and after a couple of months realize they aren’t who I thought they were. I started dating a guy 2 months ago who ended his marriage of 10 years a year ago now. I was apprehensive when he asked me out but when he told me that the marriage had been dead for a couple of years before they divorced, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Big mistake. This past month, I feel like I’ve been initiating everything and feeling like he’s not interested because he hasn’t given me more than 5 hours time a week for me. (Even though we both have weekends free.) I had a hunch he may have cold feet and asked for his time to have a conversation. He admitted he was interested in me and may have cold feet, but did not make time for me. Today, after trying for a week and a half to talk to him, he sent me a text message to say it was over. He took the easy way out. I think it was cowardly of him to not even try to talk things through and even more so because he didn’t have the balls to face me in person. What upsets me is that I went to the trouble of having a conversation at the very beginning to make sure we were on the same page. He insisted we were. He lied.

I think it’s sad that we have to be so cautious to protect our hearts. It’s terrible that there are so many people out there who don’t take into consideration the feelings and needs of the person they may potentially be entering into a relationship with. It’s sad that women can’t be enthusiastic when they feel they’ve met a terrific new guy because the likelihood the guy’s really a douche bag is so high. By having to protect ourselves, it makes it that much harder for the rare nice guys out there to meet nice women like us.

It’s a shame, reeally.

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