This blog goes out to the women who are tired of thinking that they are the problem when it comes to enjoying sex with their partner. And no, the blame isn’t suddenly supposed to be put upon your partner. According to a recent study from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction (Heiman et al., 2011), when it’s all said and done, the biggest component of sexual satisfaction in women is age. In fact, sexual functioning begins to predict relationship satisfaction for women after roughly 25 years in a long term relationship. Furthermore, this isn’t just an “American Woman” thing; this finding is consistent across multiple cultures.
When I read this, I nearly spit my coffee out onto my keyboard. Women have to wait 25 years in order to finally be optimally satisfied with their sex life?! Well, no. Heiman and her fellow researchers with the Kinsey Institute are not saying that as soon as 25 years in a relationship hits, women can start enjoying themselves. Rather, they explain that over time, women are becoming more sexually satisfied with their partner, while their partner is becoming happier with the relationship overall. Over time, other factors begin to become more of a priority for both men and women in order to maintain relationship satisfaction. The following findings should also be pointed out (and bolded and underlined and italicized):
- More sexual partners in a man’s history predicted less sexual satisfaction
- For men, relationship happiness was more likely if he reported being in good health and if it was important to him that his partner experienced orgasm
- Frequent kissing or cuddling predicted happiness in the relationship for men, but not for women
- Compared to men, women showed lower sexual satisfaction early in the relationship and greater sexual satisfaction later
To learn more about these findings and what women can be doing NOW to improve their sexual satisfaction, click here.