Why do you fear such women–do HM women make you feel inferior?

I know a HM women who just went through Breast cancer. Her son moved across the nation to get away from her. She is completely oblivious as to why people are not around her supporting her.

I visit to lend some support but she is VERY difficult to ‘deal’ with, and I’m drain when I finally reach ‘fresh air’. Everyone is a servant, or at least treated like one. She even offered to pay me to come and stay with her! And then immediately started to give me orders. People can only take her in small doses.

She is in therapy now. But it is only to have a ‘willing’ ear, to receive sympathy she can not receive from anyone else,.. she confesses. It doesn’t ever stop and she is never in ‘good’ enough health to be ‘happy’. Always demanding attention, at her bedside. She is not a hypochondriac, but a demanding HM women who can never be satisfied. She was married to a lawyer, who passed in his 50′s.

I feel for your painful upbringing. Vindictiveness and/or jealousy in a mother, or anyone you trust to love you, tears at the roots of your soul. It’s hard to forgive but you have to,… for yourself. Forgiveness is not for them, it saves you. I work on it daily. Check Judith and Francis McNutt on line. They have been very helpful to me in my healing, and cutting the painful emotional soul ties of my past.

AND HERE LADIES AND GENTS, YOU HAVE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THE MALE COUNTERPART OF HM.

VANKNIGHT: THOUGH THIS JUST A CLIP OF WHAT YOU WROTE, IN YOUR ENTIRE DESCRIPTION OF A HMW, YOU HAVE DESCRIBED YOURSELF PERFECTLY. HOW FASCINATING, AND HOW INCREDIBLY REVEALING THIS IS ABOUT YOU!

SHALLOW AND A FOOL.

I am a 29 year old average looking (beautiful face but 40 lb overweight probably equals average more or less)- but I’m ambitious and intelligent, have a great career, and am a definite driver type.

I’m probably a pain in the ass to date because I seem to only attract low status guys- who will compromise in the looks department because I represent confidence, success and power. But of course Im not attracted to these guys…Im only attracted to men who are as high status as me. Of course these men don’t date average looking women with above average intelligence.

And as a side note, as I work to lose weight it gets even worse because as I become more physically attractive I become even more disappointed. Now the lower status men are too intimidated to talk to me and the high status ones pick up on the fact that I’m not the “pretty girl” type and I’m too sassy to be worth the trouble.

The obvious answer might be to stop being such a be-otch, but those are the qualities that got me the success I have had, considering I’ve been a particularly clever fat girl my whole life. It’s difficult to change my stripes even as I learn that I am pretty after all.