I have several good friends who have been hurt in relationships ( who hasn’t?!). The sad thing to me is their reluctance to get back out there, open their hearts one more time to see if they can meet someone new. They are in self-protection mode, living life in their comfortable little boxes and I just want to shake them (gently, of course) and say, “Don’t be so afraid! Life is about love and relationships. Go out there and if you get hurt, pick yourself up and try again.” Of course it’s not that simple … or is it? We are all different and some of us deal with breakups better than others, I realize. But I still think it is tragic to not move forward in this area.
Here are more reasons to get back on the dating horse and try again:
* The more people you meet, the more you learn about yourself and your likes and dislikes.
* You are being a courageous individual by putting yourself out there – that alone is worth it.
* Social interaction is healthy and important for all of us.
* Practice makes perfect. You will become a better dater the more experience you have.
* Do not allow fear to rule your life.
* Even if there isn’t a romantic match, you might just meet a great new person or connection.
* If you don’t try, you will never know who was out there.
* You will make all of the well-meaning family members and friends (who are likely encouraging you to date) very happy!
* Because love is worth it!
What advice would you give to those who are teetering on the edge of getting back into the dating mix?
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Jonathan Beber, — M.A.
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
In spite of my reluctance to attribute my newfound courage and enjoyment in dating to eHarmony methods, I must admit that it does work. I had all but given up on putting myself out there and taking on the dating scene, until I began to test the do’s and don’ts according to eharmony. In checking out advice from the experts here and paying attention to the details outlined, I have never felt more confident that I will find my perfect match here or somewhere in my life. So far, the process has been fun, self-affirming and worth the effort. I’m sold on the sincerity and intentions of the men I’ve had the pleasure of meeting here. I’m no longer anxious and negative about the outcome, but comfortable in the journey I’ve embarked upon.
Hey, where’s the spell check for these posts? Oops!
Marlene, it sounds like you are in a great place! Bravo to you and I hope you find someone great!
Jeannie
After 14 nightmarish years of marriage, there is no way I would ever let another woman have any control over my life or ever be with one. None of you are worth the time.
Your honesty is good Jerry. However, I have learned that forgiveness is not condoning what the other person has done. It is the freedom to move on without anger consuming my life. When two people are controlled by Christ, they shouldn’t have to control each other. I too have been hurt – only God knows any of our futures – but I pray that peace and joy will be a part of them! That’s for all of us!
Well said..
Amen Wendy!
Wow, Jerry…..
It takes time to heal from something like that. But please don’t condemn us all.
The emotional investment is small at first. It’s fun to meet new people! Online dating makes it possible for us to get into a bigger mix than ever before. You go outside your profession, neighborhood and immediate social circle. If you have any sence of adventure and love for people it is well worth stepping out. It’s easy to get into a rut when a relationship hasn’t gone well. If nothing else, we single people need to stick together. We need the support of each other. We can only gather that support by interaction. You always win when you meet and communicate with someone else. No man is an island. You have to get out there in order to move forward.
There are afew men who look like un-made beds that are over fifty five and beyond. Some have long flowing beards why would a women be attracted to such a man? I am not . I don’t mind casual but if I wanted a mountain man or hermit I would not pay$200.ooFor dating one .
Well said…
I’ve met several women through eharmony who all turned out to be liars. Their profiles reflected the person they want to be, not the person they really are. It has become very difficult for me to accept any of the requests for communication now.
Before I became a believer in Christ last year, I dated the biggest jerks who did not respect me. The Lord is still working on my heart, but I am fully confident that the Lord will provide anything my heart needs for the rest of my time here on Earth. If that is a man, then so be it. If it’s not, that is great too. For those of you who are hesitant about getting back out there, don’t let bad experiences keep you from meeting people who could positively affect your life. There are a lot of jerks out there (I know), but there are a also a lot of great people out there! Your past does not have to predict your future. Don’t settle for less than God’s best. He loves us and wants everything that is good for us and His kingdom.
I have to agree with Bill, many ladies profiles are over the top. As far as Margies comments, I have been complimented by ladies on this site that I am a handsome 57 year old, who looks younger than his age. My picture is current and my profile speaks to being just a regular guy. I wokr out at the gym and am in great shape. I have met women who are younger than me, at around 48 and have dated women in their 60′s, however many women read my profile and say that they only want to date younger men. I joined e harmony to avoid the Cougar mentality but have not avoided it completely. I want to find a wife eventually but if women kept their profiles focused upon why they are on this site in the first place, then they would receive many more responses. Also, we are now in the year of our lord 2011. Which means that there is equality amongst the sexes. Equality and equity of who we are and what we desire as best for us can be addressed by either sex. However I find that women on this site feel that they are from the 18th century and are not forthright and honest about coming out and truthfully communicate their intentions concerning men they might like on this site. It takes two to Tango and playing hard to get on e harmony will not bring about positive results. But being honest and showing that you are a person seeking to be loved by others, is much better than reading a ladies profile where she gives me a laundry list of the “things” she loves. Such as: I love my morning coffee, I love my car, I love my job, I love my house, I love my independance and security, I love to travel. As a man I am not attracted to a woman that loves “things” . No, A real woman is defined by not the things she loves, or her job, but how she cultivates empathy, passion and a sincere ability to give love. For it is not how much we love but how we are loved by others. It is in the giving, not the taking where our faith is defined. Don’t ever love a “thing’ but always love something that has the capacity to love you back, things cannot.
Here, here Bill. Couldn’t have said it better myself.