This is a public service announcement on behalf of thousands of women out there: Guys, we really don’t like when you misinterpret our emotions and refer to us as “crazy!”
It often happens when we react strongly to something, get emotional, or heck, even cry. Some men don’t know how to respond, get a little out of sorts, and then utter those fateful words, ”Why are you acting so crazy?” Umm…not a good move.
I like to explain it like this: We amazing women are multi-dimensional, passionate creatures and it is completely healthy to express our wide range of emotions – the good and the bad. Men don’t always feel comfortable doing the same, are often not taught that it’s ok to really express their feelings. In other words, John Gray was very right in that, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.
My point is, if guys could try to understand that women are different creatures in the emotions department and just remember that, the world would be a much sweeter place for all of us. Oh, and no matter what you do gentlemen, it’s also never a great idea to assume, and tell us, that it must be “that time of the month” when we are in a mood. You can think it — but just don’t say it!
Ladies and gents – would love to hear if you have experienced this and how you got through it together!
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
OK, public announcement heard. What word should we use to describe an apparently ‘crazy’ behavior if we must not use the actual word, ‘crazy’? It is not enough to ask people not to do something; tell them what to do instead. Because, to be honest with you, women could be so confusing at times ‘crazy’ is the most efficient word that comes to mind.
I understand. But to be fair, miscommunication can happen based on a lot of things and they don’t necessarily mean that it’s just her.
It can be helpful that if you really do care about your relationship, that it’s worth exploring a bit. Perhaps you can sit down with her when she feels upset and lovingly, and CALMLY listen and try to mentally crawl behind her eyeballs and see the situation from her point of view? Maybe just listen or give her a hug? She might not even understand herself why she is upset.
And, if it is something goofy like hormones, understand that she isn’t nuts. If it’s really bad, seeing a doctor might be prudent. Rule out a medical cause.
The upset or issue might not be about you, rather, it may be fall out from something totally unrelated that happened to her earlier that day, but she hasn’t felt able to share it with you because she knows based on experience, that you think she’s nuts.
Just some ideas….
Use “weird,” or “unreasonable,” or “confusing.” Tell her “you’re not making sense to me.” Get a thesaurus. Whatever.
I just spent the last 14 months involved in a relationship with a bi-polar man who was off-med for most of it.
Believe me when I tell you – you don’t KNOW crazy ’til you’ve lived with it up close and personal. Until you have been involved with (and then attempted to not be involved with) a bona fide lunatic, “crazy” doesn’t mean what you think it means. For real.
Thanks for labeling those of us who are mentally ill as “lunatics,” or “crazy.” That is so very helpful. I love being a stereotype. It is hard enough trying to find someone, but to then have to hide what you are, because without doing so no one will even give you a chance, is humiliating. Some people shouldn’t be off their medication, and yes, their behavior is irrational. But some of us are on our medication, and if our behavior is irrational at times, whose isn’t? Wasn’t that the point of the article? The mentally ill community faces enough of a stigma without having to deal with the ignorant opinions of people who’ve never had to cope, for themselves, with mental illness.
I totally get that, Hillary. Well said!
Well, speaking as a woman about women, some of them are in fact drama-filled extremists, narcissistic princesses that assume that being emotional would give them freedom for uncontrolled outbursts and rage. It’s immature and rude to strike at ANYONE, male or female, and then excuse poor behavior as some kind of a female perogative.
Should I excuse a guy who explodes in frustration, puts his fist through a wall in my home, and then he says, sorry I was just stressed about a work situation? Maybe he was just a bit emotional at that moment.
I think many men and women excuse poor behavior too often, and then find themselves in an abusive situation. And then their love starts to mix with fear.
Well put Shelby, it is a two way street. Abuse can be accepted and endured. Men are taught that women act bizarre at times and accept abuse as a normal female emotion. Sometimes to their total dissatisfaction without ever confronting it.
you article is really use full for us thanks for sharing this good article.
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” George Carlin
Absolutely!!!!
I think some of the comment leavers have read -way- too much into this article. The idea is that women can sometimes be overemotional and men can react with strong ill-fitting words. I would take a man calling me ‘crazy’ as being quite offensive as it is a strong and emotional word. Heck, one of my ex’s once said I needed to ‘stop being so crazy’ just because I asked him -once- with a slightly annoyed tone to put a dirty dish in the dishwasher. I might say I was wrong to be annoyed, but this was my apartment and I had spent most of our relationship cleaning up after him like his mother and reminding him that inviting himself to stay at my place 24/7 was not okay.
I was once in a relationship with man who pulled the “crazy” card every time he didn’t get his way. I realized “crazy” was trying to maintain a relationship with him.