Anyways, I wanted to address the victims of infidelity, who obviously suffer greatly after learning about their partner’s indiscretion. I have read numerous accounts on our Advice dating boards, where people wonder how they could have prevented their partner from straying – often blaming themselves.
• It is never your fault that your partner cheated. You didn’t drive them to make this poor decision – no matter what they say. They had a choice, made the wrong one and will have to suffer any consequences.
• If this person doesn’t take complete responsibility for their actions and express great remorse – it is more likely they will cheat again.
• Often times the cheating has nothing to do with an inadequate partner, but emotional inadequacies of the culprit him/herself.
• You are allowed as much time as you need to heal.
I love Dr. Gian Gonzaga’s article, Can You Predict if They’ll Cheat, which looks at certain types of individuals more likely to stray.
I would also like to hear from anyone who has been cheated on, how they moved forward and the lessons they learned from the experience.