We love receiving your comments. Your calls, emails, posts on the eHarmony Advice community, posts on our Facebook page, and any other feedback you can send our way is very helpful. By reading and listening to your comments and suggestions we learn what works and what doesn’t. Why do some users have more profile activity than others? Why do some users seem to find their perfect partner earlier in the experience? It’s all part of the process of building a more helpful and effective service.
Although there is no perfect formula for finding love on any dating site, I do want to share some trends we’ve uncovered for users who get above-average profile activity, more communication and seem to find that special somebody much earlier in the process.
If you want to really increase your chances for success on eHarmony, we recommend doing the following:
1. You need photos.
You might be surprised to learn that nearly 35% of users on eHarmony don’t upload a photo. We know that users who have at least one photo increase their chances of finding someone by almost 100%. (Seriously!)
We’ve found that users who have at least three great photos (what defines a great photo?) almost always meet someone they want to get to know better.
2. Answer Profile Questions, but be yourself.
This seems like a given right? Well, if you’ve been on eHarmony you’ve most likely come across profiles that have very little substance to them. We know for a fact that users who answer at least five profile questions and answer them in a more one-to-one conversational tone see an increase in both received “Smiles” and incoming messages from their matches.
We’re working to revise some of the profile questions to make them more fun to answer and more interesting to read.
3. Don’t be shy about sending a Smile to a match.
Smiles are just a fun way of saying “Hi,” and helping to break the ice with your matches. We’ve found that users who send smiles to their matches tend to end up meeting someone much faster than users who don’t.
4. Consider expanding your match distance settings.
We all hope that our prince or princess is right down the street, but typically you meet matches who are not within your immediate location. This is especially true if you live in more suburban and rural areas.
Try expanding your distance settings (http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/mysettings) and you’ll immediately start receiving new matches. We recommend setting your distance settings to more than 120 miles from you.
You may think, “Who wants to date someone who lives 120 miles away?” but look at it this way. If there is a person who is deeply compatible with you, is ready for a committed relationship, and lives 101 miles away, don’t you want to know it? Isn’t that distance something that you can overcome on your way to a long-term relationship? We’ve seen it happen thousands of times.
So there you have it. The four most important things you can do right now to improve your chances for finding that special someone. We’ll continue to share our findings and help you use eHarmony more effectively.
Be yourself, be honest and have fun! The world can literally be at your fingertips.
Grant Langston — Vice President, Content and Customer Experience
Jeannie Assimos, — Director of Content
Marni Battista — Relationship Expert
Monique A Honaman — Author
Dr. Seth Meyers — Licensed clinical psychologist
Sarah Schmermund, M.A. — M.A.
In regards to #3, is it that users who send smiles before sending the first five questions are getting better results than those who just send the first questions, or are you comparing users who send smiles to those who send nothing at all (in which case the real point isn’t to send a smile, but to send anything).
Hey Chris, thanks for your question. The statement is actually based on a combination of people sending both smiles and communication, but doesn’t specify when in the communication process the smile was sent. I’ve seen customers use them a couple of ways successfully though.
First, a smile is a great way to get the ball rolling for customers that don’t want to make the first move. Some folks are more traditional and want their match to make the first move and so a smile is an easy way to get them interested. Second, I’ve seen people use a smile in lieu of a communication nudge to get their match to continue communication when it has stalled out. Something about a smile seems a little bit more friendlier than our communication nudges.
I’ve tried all of these tips and I still don’t get any type of response. I don’t know If the matches are seeking a relationship with another match or if they are just not interested? Or if they are kind enough to reply they tell me the distance between where we live is too far. I’m feeling very discouraged by this process.
Sherri, thanks for sharing this with us. My suggestions were aimed at helping people make some of the basic moves needed to be successful on eHarmony. Our experience here has shown that posting photos, completing your profile, sending smiles, and widening your matching distance are key elements of success on eHarmony. Of course, as you point out, they aren’t guarantees of a great relationship. If you aren’t having the experience you were hoping to have on eH, here’s what I would suggest.
First, if you haven’t already, reach out to our Customer Care team and have them review your account. They may be able to suggest a change that will increase the amount of communication you receive.
Second, and this is never easy to hear, take a good hard look at your profile. Is it as good as it can be? Ask a male friend to look at your profile, and give you his thoughts. Do your answers do you justice? Do they make you seem like an engaged, happy, interesting person? Are your photos flattering? It’s not fun to examine ourselves in this way, but if you can get the courage to do this, you’ll almost certainly going to end up with a stronger profile and more communication.
Lastly, I would just reinforce what you said. Dating CAN be discouraging. It can also take time, but the people who have succeeded on eHarmony have stayed with the process. You only need one great guy to have a happy relationship, and we’ve helped so many people I’m confident we can help you.
It seems that all the “dating websites “WINK ” at you for a price, with limited reselts when I ask for further communication, there is always the $ in question