A wise woman once told me that for a guy to really hear you, you need to “smack ‘em over the head.” Now, I know she didn’t mean this literally and I don’t condone any sort of physical violence (!). The point she was trying to make was that I needed to take some sort of action for my then-boyfriend to actually hear me, as I wasn’t having any success with the standard mode of communicating whatever issue I was having with him at the time.
I am sure many men would disagree with this … or maybe not? In some past experiences, I had repeatedly told boyfriends things that completely went in one ear and out the other. Only when I took action, like stopped making dinner after he was repeatedly late for weeks, did he seem to notice. Suddenly, he was all ears: “Oh, sorry, I don’t remember you saying that it bothered you I was late for dinner.” I guess hitting him right in the gut did work, if I remember correctly.
I know men don’t like complainers – and I don’t know any women who do either. But is it necessary to take drastic measures to get the point across to our male counterparts? Is there a better way to communicate issues that come up or do we have to light off some figurative fireworks? Personally, I kind of like a little firecracker now and then!
What form of communication has worked best for you? Looking forward to hearing from both men and women.