Last week I had lunch with a buddy who told me he had a raging date with a young lady. “We talked endlessly. She loves the Lakers. She knows about beer. (This guy is really into micro-brews and is a serious beer snob.) She was funny, and we even had a very sexy kiss at the end of the evening.” For all the good words he was saying I could still sense a problem. The tone of his voice didn’t match the details of his date. So, I asked, “That’s sounds great, but why don’t I get the sense that you’re excited about all this?”
He said, “Because I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Ah, the other shoe. I understood in an instant. I had had another shoe incident in years past – wonderful woman, smart, sexy, passionate about so many things. Of course, it took me 4 dates to figure out that she was a complete workaholic. 80-90 hours a week was not unusual. Her physical availability was limited, but even when we were together she wasn’t really there. She was worrying about some problem back at her desk. And so, 4 dates into our relationship, BAM, the other shoe hit the floor.
My friend Charles has learned the hard way. “I’ve had so many other shoe incidents. I dated a woman who was an addict. She kept that hidden for 8 weeks. I dated a woman who was absolutely crazy. She kept that hidden for 10 weeks. I even dated a woman who told me on the 7th or 8th date that she was a big admirer of the work of Adolf Hitler. I asked her a few times if she was serious because I could not believe it. Yes, a Nazi sympathizer. I dropped some money on the table and left.”
We’ve all been in new relationships where the other shoe drops and we shake our head in disappointment. The MORE interesting question is, “Do you have another shoe?” Is there some part of your personality, a hobby, a preference, that you keep hidden from new romantic interests? We’re all pretty anonymous here. I’d love to know if you have another shoe?