Why You Shouldn’t Settle

April 22, 2011

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settling in relationships 300x199 Why You Shouldnt SettleSettling for someone who lacks the important (must-have) qualities you are looking for is a bad idea for many reasons. I completely get why people do it, but it is sort of like putting a band aid on something – eventually you may have to rip it off. I believe many of us do this to avoid the perceived unhappiness and fear of being alone, and eventually find that we are discontented anyways — in an unfulfilling relationship.

Here are some reminders of why you should never settle:

1. You are unavailable to meet the right person if your energy is going into a subpar relationship.

2. You will actually be happier on your own in the long run, believe it or not, than if you stay with this person.

3. Life is not a dress rehearsal, so why waste it with someone who isn’t as amazing as you are?

4. Don’t let fear of the unknown drive your decisions.

5. A lack of confidence in someone is an added burden when going through life’s challenging times.

6. Your incompatibilities will eventually become a constant irritant (not a fun way to live, and it’s not good for you either).

7. You run the risk of losing your joy and becoming emotionally drained in a stressful situation.

Now on the flip side, my insightful colleague Grant Langston did bring up a good point, telling me that sometimes singles looking for love have such a lengthy list of must-haves that they aren’t realistic and may never meet a person who will live up to those standards. I think if you narrow it down to ten important character/value traits, and let a lot of the other things go, you will be doing pretty well.

Have you ever settled for someone … and regretted it?

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