Settling for someone who lacks the important (must-have) qualities you are looking for is a bad idea for many reasons. I completely get why people do it, but it is sort of like putting a band aid on something – eventually you may have to rip it off. I believe many of us do this to avoid the perceived unhappiness and fear of being alone, and eventually find that we are discontented anyways — in an unfulfilling relationship.
Here are some reminders of why you should never settle:
1. You are unavailable to meet the right person if your energy is going into a subpar relationship.
2. You will actually be happier on your own in the long run, believe it or not, than if you stay with this person.
3. Life is not a dress rehearsal, so why waste it with someone who isn’t as amazing as you are?
4. Don’t let fear of the unknown drive your decisions.
5. A lack of confidence in someone is an added burden when going through life’s challenging times.
6. Your incompatibilities will eventually become a constant irritant (not a fun way to live, and it’s not good for you either).
7. You run the risk of losing your joy and becoming emotionally drained in a stressful situation.
Now on the flip side, my insightful colleague Grant Langston did bring up a good point, telling me that sometimes singles looking for love have such a lengthy list of must-haves that they aren’t realistic and may never meet a person who will live up to those standards. I think if you narrow it down to ten important character/value traits, and let a lot of the other things go, you will be doing pretty well.
Have you ever settled for someone … and regretted it?