Most people who have been dating for awhile understand that a first date is about talking. You want to find a quiet spot where you can both share your thoughts, be charming, and see if you connect. That’s most people, because recently I had a female friend, Kate, who ended up on the odyssey below as a first date.
I’d love to hear about some of your challenging first dates.
Stage One – “Hey, let’s meet for a drink at Joe’s pub.”
That sounded like a good idea to her. She knew about Joe’s. It was close to her home, and she could meet this new person there, which is always smart when you’re making a new connection. Of course, when she arrived she discovered that her new romantic interest had invited her on a PUB CRAWL with 13 of his co-workers. “I just thought it would be more fun like this!” he said.
“Kate, meet Michael. He works in procurement. This is John. He is in acquisition marketing, and this is Ella, she manages the IT department.” On and on and on it went. Two random guys from the group hit on Kate, and as they marched from bar to bar she struggled to get a word in with her date.
Stage Two – “Oh my God. I love this band!”
As Kate gamely tried to count her drinks and chug a glass of water for each beer, they continued to roll around the neighborhood invading the bars. The crowd started to thin and she thought she might finally get to talk to her guy, but wait – bar number four has a BAND! A loud band playing Motown. Kate loves Aretha, but now any communication was only happening as a pitched yell, “HEY, SO ARE YOU HAPPY WITH WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE?”
Stage Three – “I thought we were having a good time.”
You can probably guess what happened next. The pub crawl wound back around to the original launch point and Kate was ready to say good night. She had, literally, not had a 2 minute conversation with this man all night. He was a little drunk. She was tired and feeling ridiculous. “Let me walk you to your car,” he said. She declined. He insisted. She agreed. At her car, it wasn’t like he attacked her or anything. He just came swooping in, eyes closed, mouth open, stinking of beer, ready to give her the soul kiss of the century. She ducked, and put her forearm in his chest and he said, “What? I thought we liked each other.” She slammed the car door and made her escape.
Yes, Kate was young. The next time (and there would be a next time with a different guy) she knew enough to say, “How about we have coffee instead?” We all live and learn, but this date will be burned in her brain forever as the worst she ever had.
I can’t wait to hear your stories.
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Worst first date… we are in a little cafe, he tells me he has a thing for womens’ feet, asks if I will take my boot off (it’s February) and show him my foot. Uh, no, buh bye!
Omg! Was his name John?? I had the same kind of date once!!
laughing….
That is soooo funny, the same thing happened to me twice. The crazy thing is that I showed them my feet, it was awkward but I think I did it because I thought it was hysterical and I guess I wanted to see if my feet could actually turn someone on….. sick I guess. lol
Wow.
Hahaha… what a great blog post. I’ve had some doozies, one of the most memorable was grabbing a coffee at Starbucks and going for a walk in a city park,… which is innocent enough… and I’d realized that I didn’t want to get involved in a dinner I would feel awkward walking out on if the date wasn’t going well. Anyways while playing fetch with the dog he decided it was a good time to whip it out and pee… we’d met 30 mins before that, and we were a 5 min walk from his house, we weren’t on some epic hike in the woods… speaking of woods, he just did it in the middle of the lawn/grass where he was standing, didn’t even walk over near a tree to be semi blocked from view.
I would have given him what for and then threaten to have him arrested. What if a child happened to walk on to the scene?! How disrespectful to assume that you would be ok with it.
What a complete PIG! The dog probably has more manners!
In Michigan that can get a person on the sex offender list with the police. Unlike when I was a child. That was “checking the tire pressure”, which is what my Dad used to call it when at night, he would stop the car, get out and pee on the drivers front tire. Are they dogs at heart??? LOL
That is insane! I thought I had a bad one…..aye…
I met a guy on a dating website and he seemed nice enough, so we agreed to meet and go for a walk. He started off by showing up late – over half an hour. When he did show up, there was no apology for his tardiness, and he proceeded to text on his phone the *whole* time. When he actually paused from his phone long enough to speak, anything he said was a cut down or negative remark: “Oh look at that guy’s car – he’s obviously trying to make up for something” “Aren’t homeless people the worst?” “Don’t you just loathe traffic?” I even got attitude when he found out I’d never tried crepes before. It was really tiresome, but luckily for me, he had “forgotten” he had plans with a friend that night and left abruptly. On most first dates that would be upsetting – but in this senerio it was welcome relief. Needless to say there waasn’t a second date.
I’ve experienced a similar date, except he arrived hungover and drunk to an afternoon date at an bowling alley. Not only incredibly rude but a waste of my time and a public embarrassment.
Met him for coffee and sat down to talk. He proceeded to tell me his ENTIRE lifes story including his medical conditions, STD status, disability pay and suggested we not see anyone else. He also asked me if he could, “pork me.” In hindsight I should have exited the rear door. I didn’t but back in the safety of my home I sent a text suggesting this wouldn’t work for me. He then proceeded to call me names for several weeks via text; I didn’t respond and eventually he went away!
PORK YOU????? Wouldn’t that like, make you a “pig in the blanket” though? LOL Perhaps he was Polish? (Man, I Love those, I’m hungry)
Which one?
Bad Date #1. We converse via e-Mail – GREAT conversation(s) – then we make a date. She calls me, two days before the date, in the emergency room and wants me to come sit with her. Not wanting to be perceived as a heel, I agree. I show up and she has her 7 year old daughter with her. After sitting with her for over 4 hours, they finally let her go back (long story as to why we had to wait) and she leaves me, someone she’s known less than a week, alone with her daughter. I’m a total stranger! That was our first, and last, date.
Bad Date #2. We converse, via e-Mail, and decide to meet. The directions to her house are HORRIBLY wrong and, after driving around for 45 minutes, I finally find it. She’s still not there. Frustrated, I leave. Then she calls and tells me she’s finally home and asks me to come back. I do. She comes running, literally running, out to the vehicle. Before I can get out to open the door for her, she’s in the vehicle…along with the scent of cannabis. Yes, marijuana, pot, Mary Jane…you get the idea. I’m immediately turned off but perhaps her perfume is Eau de Pothead. Who knows? Benefit of the doubt, and with her sunglasses covering her eyes, we go out to eat (perhaps another hint?) and she wolfs it all down. She definitely ate like a bird…RODAN!! (Godzilla reference, there.) In conversation, she spills that she hasn’t seen her brother for two days but that she’s not worried. A little perplexed, I ask her why. She replies that, ”He’s probably out fightin’ chickens.” That was our first, and last, date.
Bad Date #3. Being 6′ 5”, it’s hard for me to find someone tall whom I’m also attracted to. So when I came across this lovely woman, who is also 6′ 2”, I thought, ”Yipee!!” We IM’ed, then talked on the phone and decided to meet for a date. I show up, on time (as usual), and she’s still getting ready – no big deal. I get to meet her ex-husband who’s also picking up the kids. He seems a little stand-offish but I figure he’s just jealous (she was quite lovely). She tells me the kids were watching a movie and to make myself at home while she finishes up. 1-1/2 hours later, she finally emerges!! I’m starved, vexed, perplexed, agitated – an entire gambit of negative emotions. But, whatever, the nights still young enough and perhaps he (the ex) called her and they argued or something…how am I to know without being nosy. I say nothing and we go out. On the way to the restaurant, she goes on, INCESSANTLY, about the most mundane and shallow things (a long story in and of itself). We FINALLY arrive at the restaurant. We are seated and all is good…until she falls asleep at the table in mid-conversation. I tell the waitress, this is already our first and last date. The waitress says she can see why. Suddenly, my narcoleptic nightingale wakes up and I say, ”Oh, I see you’ve decided to rejoin us!” She looks at me confused. Then she gets up to the water closet. SHE’S GONE 20 MINUTES!! Finally, I ask the waitress to go check on her. The waitress goes in, comes out and gets two other female waitresses to accompany her back into the ladies room. A moment later, they emerge with my date, her arms draped across the shoulders of the two other girls who are carrying her out to the table. I’m aghast. on the drive back to her place, she has no idea what’s happened. We pull up and she very suggestively asks me if I’d like to come in. I tell her, flat-out, ”No.” In a huff, she gets out, looks at me and exclaims, ”I guess I didn’t not wear no panties for nothin’, then!” (Yes, her grammar was that stellar.) I found out, later on, Xanax and she were close bedfellows.
Bad Date #4: This lady and I exchange e-Mails and IM’s for a couple of days and decide to meet for a date. I have stressed, all along, that I do drink but that I have nothing against someone who drinks moderately, so long as it’s not in excess (I seem to be a magnet for those with chemical abuse issues). She says, “No problem! I’m not an alchie!’’ The night before our first date she calls me, absolutely drunk. In fact, SO inebriated, that she called me instead of her roommate whom she was trying to get to meet her on the side of the road where she’d pulled off when she realized she was too drunk to drive home. (At least, that’s all of the voice mail I could understand. It was rather lengthy and completely filled with mumblings and murmurs as yet indecipherable.) The next day, after she’d sobered up, she called me and nervously asked if she’d called me the night before. I told her she had, she was completely drunk and that I didn’t feel pursuing anything with her would be in either of our best interest.
Honestly, where do these women come from and why is it so bloody hard to actually find a woman who’s intelligent, attractive and not a complete basket case?!
OMG, that’s worse then what I’ve lived through
but like you only one date…
Oh goodness, David! That 6’2 girl gives a bad name to tall girls everywhere! I’m 6’1 and find a hard time finding guys my height or taller so I feel your pain. Hope everything’s working out now! Don’t wanna see more hilariously horrible dates from you, mister!
Wow, You poor man! yes, where do these women come from…I cannot even imagine!
Best of luck to you!
You were talking on the phone and emailing these “ladies” before your dates, didn’t you notice their “use” of their English Language? Maybe they all used “spell check” as well…
I wish more men/women would use spell check.
Great Date #1 – I know what your talking about David… I’ve had the horror stories myself
My sister and I still laugh about my “Drive-by” Date…
I chatted with this guy for a while, we emailed, exchanged photos, then set a time to meet for Coffee.
On the way, I tell him I am running late should be there soon, what are you wearing so I know it’s you…. he tells me.
I pull up to see ONE guy waiting outside, I shake my head, can’t be??? I call and say I am almost there, seeing this person answer the phone…. O M G it is Him!
He looked NOTHING, like his photo, HE lied, so therefore I did too & drove on past him, going home and emailing that I got caught in traffic.
If he had sent me a photo of himself it would have saved us both time & effort….be honest and send a photo of YOU, after all you do plan on meeting this person don’t you???
I heard a similar story from someone I did meet, we laughed and he told me about his meeting, he said he was there when she arrived. SHE was 60lbs. heavier with dark hair…not the person he expected at all – SHE was placing her “Roommates photo” on-line and Meeting men using that photo….take about dishonest!!!
OMG! Bad dates for you but thank you for the morning laugh, funny stuff!!
Hi David,
Ooops! Seems like you have also had your fair share of weirdos. Maybe we have been looking in the wrong places. I have decided to stop looking and just to continue living life normally.
There are a few of us around. Pity there isn’t a place for the Simple and Sane Singles to hang out. Good Luck with your search.
Believe me, I feel your pain! We all do! For every “bad one” you have, I have 5!
I’m assuming you didn’t make the Church picnic eh? Remember now David, my parents always said, “You ARE WHO you hang with.” …I didn’t get OUT much… LOL
Blessings for your future search David~
David:
Just think about how GREAT it will be when you meet someone who is NORMAL! These dates seem so horrible at the time, yet if we can laugh about them, perhaps we can move on to have hope for better dates.
It’s darned hard to find a nice tall man. And that you are. Some gal is out there waiting for you. And she will be sober, oin time and won’t fall asleep on you at dinner. WOW.
ok – I bloomin’ scared now
Single 4 ever
Sheesh. These are pretty awful. I have no stories to tell, because I’ve never been on a proper date. Attractive, intelligent, no substance abuse, and emotionally stable..
Only get hit on walking down the street. Never once been approached by a normal human being. Catch them looking all the time, but once caught they never look again, no chance for that mutual eye contact to prface a ‘hello.’.
Why do you think that is Chel? There are a lot of reasons guys may find a girl intimidating to approach. Do you think it’s your physical appearance? The energy you are outputting? I am continually amazed by the female species and how the male species are so dramatically affected by their female counterparts. Do tell.
Boy, you sure have that right! Guys says that I’m intimidating. Well, here’s the deal: WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH A MAN THAT CAN’T “HANDLE” ME? I wouldn’t be attracted to that. A man that can look at me and say. “Wow! Now she’s interesting!”-that’s the guy I want to be with!
I LOVE all these stories! Keep them coming. And Kristen, please don’t learn the wrong lesson from all this. Being completely alone and without a relationship is the cure to bad dating, IMO, it’s managing the date well. Meeting at a place with an easy exit (literally and figuratively). If you meet for lunch on a first date and the guys a weirdo, it’s an easy out. Make sure you aren’t roped in and unable to say, “Uh, this isn’t working for me. I need to leave.”
I have the EXACT problem with men..LOL. They see me and gauk….smile…blush…then can’t talk..and if I am physically close they usually end up getting intimidated. Most women I don’t know don’t like me when they first see me either. People can be mean. I believe it’s because (this is going to sound vain or stupid folks)I am vertically challenged (5’4″)but large breasted (44D). Sad, but true. I have a funny story about that too…my X came home complaining night after night about the guys at work that were complaining about ALL THE $$$ they were spending on breast enhancements for their women. FINALLY I told him, “Honey, I know how to make them stop crying to YOU about it. Just tell them that YOUR WOMAN CAME with BREASTS and you had to buy her a HARLEY DAVIDSON.” (true story…they roared)
Chel,
I’d be curious to hear about why you think you’ve never had a proper date.
thanks
Grant
David, do you ever ask yourself why you might be attracting these kinds of women? It may not be them.
What does Dr. Phil say so often? “You teach people how to treat you.” This is *SO* true.
Every situation that you provided was based on internet interaction. Have you ever thought of, maybe, you know, going out to a public event and meeting a normal woman there instead of solely online?
In all my years I have never encountered anything like what you’ve posted. It’s just bizarre to me.
Wow, David, I am so sorry! But if it helps I feel WAY better about some of the dates I’ve been on.
One guy showed up dressed head to toe in black including a black trench coat. He was bald and looked like Uncle Fester in his get up. It was just a coffee date yet he spent two hours sobbing about how he just lost his dad (I was sorry, and I did appreciate him being up front but wait…), he lost his job due to his violent outbursts over losing his dad, him mom and sisters were no longer talking to him, he was in court ordered therapy, he was still sleeping with an ex, and his dad had died FIVE years ago. Look, we all process grief the same and I do appreciate that he was honest and up front with me but it was awful. I didn’t even want him to walk me to my car.
Then there was the blind date that showed up dressed like he just came from the gym. When I ordered a salad with raw tomatoes he freaked out because the site of raw tomoatoes was so repulsive to him. He ordered plain spagetti with plain red sauce and grilled the waitress about there being absoulutely no chunks in the sauce, basically insisting that the kitchen run it through a strainer. The he ALSO cried, but this time it was while talking about what a caring and wonderful person he was. Then he told me that all cars have souls and he was deeply upset when he found out that I hadn’t washed mine in probably a year. I tried to get out but he followed me out to the parking lot and then petted my car and apologized to it for me not caring for it properly. I dove in my car and tried to get away but he blocked me and said that all women were awful because they never called him back. Oh lord, he was crazy.
There was the date that insisted that all women have sex/give favors on the first date.
My girlfriend has a great one: Two decent dates with guy, has a new date set up, he calls and cancels at last minute. Says his grandma is sick and he has to go care for her for the next 28 days and he’ll have no phone but can he email her? And will she wait for him? Yeah, try intervention and forced rehab for the second time in less than 6 months.
Dating is scary! But I’m still hopeful. I don’t know why, but I am.
Thanks for the laughs, this is hilarious, sorry for your bad dates.
I once went out on a date to a drive in movie, can’t remember the movie to save my soul, but “He” slept through the entire show and later wanted me to go out with him again!
I wised up quickly to raise my standards. Never go out with someone you just met on line. It took me weeks of chat, and talking on the phone to go out again with someone I met on line.
Of course it wasn’t funny then, as we say, but you’ll forgive me sitting here, laughing until I nearly pee my pants?! Thanks for sharing!
Let’s see………never really dated before? Various relationships short and long term but none that I could say that began with a “date.”
I’m a 5’11 attractive, intelligent, emotionally and financially stable man who married young and am freshly divorced after 13 years. A lot learned and am having a great time meeting new people and discovering all the “fish” in the sea.
The two interesting experiences that could fall under the category of “worst date” category? are as follows:
I began conversing and then IM’ing with a “match” and we exchanged some pic’s via email. The pic’s “she” sent me were not matching the 1 pic she had on her profile. Didn’t think anything of it at the time. Our chatting later developed to exchanging phone numbers. On this person’s profile she described her location as Sydney, Vic. Later I find out that she is really in a small town in Nigeria. (2nd red flag). So I call “her” and this person answers the phone with a really funny sounding voice and she quickly apologizes for having lost her voice or a really bad sore throat. The phone call didn’t last long cause I couldn’t understand what she was saying. (mind you this was a caucasion girl that supposedly spoke english as her first language). I later IM’d her telling her that she sounded like a guy that was imitating a girls voice. She apologized and promised to have a normal voice very soon. Not much more communication takes place before she asks me to send her $295usd to help pay her internet bill otherwise we wouldn’t be able to communicate anymore. I of course smell a rat and refuse. No communication after a few IM’s that try to make me feel guilty for not helping her. To get to the bottom of things……I call her out of the blue and a Nigerian man answers the phone and all I say is “hello” in the same voice I used when I spoke to this “girl” before and low and behold……he quickly hangs up the phone without saying another word. Then nothing….for a week or so. “She” then IM’s me saying I must have found someone else and am not interested in her anymore due to not IM’ing her. I quickly called her on all of the red flags that I had with “her” and “she” quickly backpeddled trying to cover “her/himself” in all the lies and mistakes “he” had made in trying to scam me for $$. And from this experience? I felt sorry for all the insecure poor men out there that would fall for this scam in looking for love in a beautiful woman.
Story 2: Another match…….w/o any communication in the match making portal itself, she gives me her email saying that she’s leaving the site and would like to communicate w/ me. Then the story changes to a friend had the profile up on the site and was looking for a nice man for her. Her being a girl from a small town in Russia. After exchanging some initial pics, thus began an elaborate array of very detailed and personal emails from this girl (almost daily). Then surprise? She is coming to America to meet me and is using her 6 months of her mothers salary to pay for the ticket (amongst other sympathetic details). The 5th or 6th email into it, always sending new pics each time (very flattering pics) she is asking for the airport code to the closest airport to my current location and along with THIS email, she sends a nude photo of herself (pretending to be embarrassed in doing so) to make sure I liked her body before she set out on her journey to meet me. The next email she sends is that she made it to the city that she can fly out of and has all her documents in order (visas, passports, entry permits) except for the fact that her mother’s loan to her fell through and she needed me to wire her or western union her $995 usd to cover the difference of what she had already paid for the tickets. And, again?………..Wow!!! Why am I surprised? After no money was sent or committed to send, I of course never heard from this person again.
Aloha,
Narayan
What’s sad is that people must actually be falling for these scams or they would quit doing it!
Mine didn’t start so bad, but the ending was not worth it. If you don’t count going out for coffee as the first date, this was our first real “date”. In-between coffee and the “date” we texted, talked on the phone, and chatted quite a bit on Facebook. I also need to add that I get attached quickly, and I was hooked before we went out again.
It started well: we went out for dinner, spent too much time talking so we missed our movie showtime. We found another movie that started in an hour and decided to go to a local department store to kill time, where we walked around and talked some more.
FYI: I was only getting positive signals from her, and I’m very good at reading people.
Anyway, we go back to the movie theater and I hold her hand as we walk from the car to the door. She didn’t pull away or say no or do ANYTHING to let me know she didn’t want me to hold her hand. So we get into the movie and sit down. As the movie goes on, I notice she moves away from me a couple of inches. I make no advances whatsoever, because something just doesn’t feel right.
It was not a good movie, and afterward on the way to the car she puts her hands in her pockets, which to me meant that something was definitely not right.
I take her back to her place, and I ask if there was another date in the cards, and she says she’s “stressed” and wants to go slow, which I said I totally could. Needless to say I did not attempt to kiss her goodnight.
The next day I called her and asked if she could explain what she meant by stressed. She tells me that she got stressed out and that when I “grabbed her hand” she didn’t know what to do. Then she said she was still emotionally attached to her ex-boyfriend and that she was trying to get him “out of her heart”. Oh, and then I got the “I need to be friends with everyone right now” line, and I knew it was over.
I have tried to be her “friend” (which she told me she appreciates), but all that did was remind me of the past and that I still like her. I just recently “unfriended” her on Facebook because just seeing her icon pop up on the chat thing brings up things I don’t want to think about.
She did acknowledge that she hurt me and said that she didn’t want to.
The thing I don’t understand is why she didn’t have it figured out after coffee that she wasn’t ready to date yet. Did she have to string me along enough so that she knew I’d get hurt, and then say “sorry, but I can’t do this”? The worst part of the whole thing is that, 4 months later, I still “like” her and would jump if she told me she wants to try again, despite all I’ve done to try to forget her.
Anybody have any good advice? (Other than “don’t let yourself get attached so quickly next time, dummass!”)
Andrew- I understand because I get attached easily as well. No horrible dates for me.
Maybe we should meet!
Sarah,
The ironic thing is that the woman featured in my story is named Sarah. Another tough part of my situation is that I see her at Bible study once a week, which just reminds me of what happened.
And the attachment doesn’t always happen like that. I’ve been out with a person multiple times and didn’t feel anything with her.
Where are you located? I live near Fargo, ND.
Here’s the typical response: “It’s not you, it’s her.” It is. As an older woman (I’m 48) who has been single my whole life, I am COMPLETELY HONEST with someone. I try to avoid hurting their feelings, but sometimes that can’t be helped. When I was younger, I wasn’t like that. I would “beat around the bush”. I don’t have time for that now and it isn’t fair to either party. Also, SHE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. And that’s the bottom line.
Oh goodness, there are SO many. O_o
The bad first dates that stand out are as follows:
1) A guy and I met for coffee. The second he smiles…sigh. I don’t mean to be rude, but now I know why he didn’t smile with teeth showing in his pictures. They were every which way. But, being nice, I sat down and we talked. About 45 minutes of rambling (on his end) went by and I already knew this wasn’t going anywhere. I had no idea what he was talking about. Then, all of a sudden he says “Oh! Hey! It’s my friend’s birthday today!” I pause, and said “oh..well that’s nice. Happy Birthday to your friend..I guess.” He continues, “I’ll have to get her some flowers for her birthday. I have a great idea. Let’s go get some flowers and surprise her on her doorstep and say “hey happy birthday!”. I smile out of politeness and wait for him to realize what a dumb idea that was. He says “hmm…okay so that was a dumb idea.” I laugh and said “yeah…let’s not do that.” I said I had to get going and I left. There was no connection, no chemistry, nothing. And what’s weird, is we had a lot in common over email. Isn’t that always the case nowadays?
2) This one happened on New Year’s. We didn’t plan on dating that day, it just so happened that we were both free that day. I thought “oh awesome, what a great way to start 2011!” After talking for hours and hours (until I developed laryngitis!) we decide to meet on New Years at a Chinese restaurant. I arrive on time…and wait. And wait. And wait. He texts me “I’m running late, where is the place again?” I was a little peeved because HE picked the place….I had no idea where it was to begin with, but I helped him anyway. Then he texts me asking about the crossstreets. Dude – if you pick the place, please know where it is or at least what area its in. He finally shows up a half hour late..and when I see him my heart sinks. To my shoes. He’s wearing a shirt that is like 4 sizes too big, completely wrinkled and he looks very different than his pictures (not to mention he’s about 6 inches shorter!). He proceeds to stare at me most of the dinner date. I know I looked good, but I wasn’t asking to be stared at. The conversation was quite awkward – I had no idea how we got along so well over the phone – and at once point he made a reference to me dancing on a table for money. I stared at him and said “excuse me?” He said “yeah..what…you wouldn’t?” I said “NO.” We had made plans earlier to go bowling afterwards and since the alley was across the street I thought “okay…maybe he’s nervous…give him another chance.” (In hindsight, I would have left after dinner.” As we get into our cars to drive to the alley he says “you’re not leaving to go home are you???” I groan inwardly and say “no..”. At that point I wanted to run, but I still had my dignity so I didn’t leave. Bowling was awkward – he would try to tickle me and just say and do weird stuff. I wanted out. At the end of the date he sat me down and asked if we could go out again. I was nice and said “I’m just not feeling the chemistry here…” He frowns and then proceeds to tell me everything he thought I did wrong on the date, including the fact that I didn’t hug him when I first saw him. Um, excuse me? I don’t know you. At all. Why would I hug you yet? I’m an affectionate person to my friends, but dude, I don’t know you…and now I don’t want to. But, I said “well…okay. I’m gonna go now.” He walks me to my car (even though I’m trying to walk fast to get the HECK outta there) and he’s muttering “wow. good job. I just can’t date anyone..” basically beating himself up. LOL. I sped off and was so glad to have that date over with. Ugh.
I’m sure I’ll think of more later….I’ve been told by my friends and coworkers that I should write a book of all the hilarious dating disasters I’ve had.
This is such a great thread, let me contribute, although the best story is the tall guy with the Xanax addict
anyway, I had gone out for four times with this apparently really nice although a bit shy single father, 38, a job, a life, it wasn’t so great but I assumed it was because we were too nervous, so I invite him for dinner at home, to know each other better.
He arrives, empty-handed and very proudly states: “Look, no wine and no flowers!” (thanks, I ‘m charmed) and after that he proceeds to tell me that he is still high from some drugs he took the night before. I should have thrown him out at that point, so whatever happened afterwards is my fault.
During dinner he makes a point of telling me that “I have no idea of how weird he is” (I am beginning to get an idea, sure).
After dinner we decide to watch a movie, I mention a few titles that are met with a blank stare, finally he lightens up at the film “Planet Terror” (very kitsch zombie movie, of an acquired taste); I ask him “Are you sure, do you know what this is about?” He says yes, so we watch that movie. After around 20 minutes I see that he is going into a really bad trip with all that violence and blood and pus, and I ask him a few times if he wants to watch something else, then at around 3/4 of the movie he stands up, mutters “I am sorry, we are too different” and walks out of the door.
Like this wasn’t traumatic enough, the morning after he sends one line: ” you are not going to get rid of me that easily” (?!?) and two days later he writes to book me not for one but for two dates (walk in the park, like he hadn’t done enough walking, and at the opera), which I obviously turned down. I still don’t understand why he had to behave like that. I had a proof that he is a player only last week: when we started dating he cancelled his profile on the online dating site where we met, and I actually thought that a bit fishy, saying that he had given up looking for someone, then, after it was clear that nothing was going to happen with me, the profile reappeared magically, and now it’s not online anymore! so probably he is trying to get laid with someone else, and that is part of his method. yuck.
What a gross guy!
No Way!! I’ve had bad dates but compared to David, Narayan and Lyndy’s dates experiences I can’t complain. You should get together and write a book. Thanks for sharing this was so entertaining I had to print these out and read them while having lunch. First I felt terrible for David’s dates I’m thinking poor guy why is he matched with these horrible women he sounds like a decent guy. Then I read about Narayan’s deceitful emails? And Lindy’s weird dates – Not to mention poor love sick Andrew. Listen, don’t give up on love that is an awesome God given gift. After all all you need to find is one special person. And you will…my girlfrind’s mom used to say there is a lid for every pot. You’ll find your match; just make a list of what’s important to you and don’t settle for less. And for you Andrew if your love wasn’t reciprocated it’s because she wasn’t the one, your match will not reject you. Best of luck for all of you – thanks for sharing those great stories!
It was a blind date, set up for me by a woman I had only met once. We got off on the wrong foot when the guy pulled up to my house and didn’t even come to the door to pick me up. My mother was enraged over this and was berating me with angry text messages the whole awkward first hour of our date while I tried to act like nothing was going on. We went out to lunch where he charmed me with stories of dates that ended in death threats & calls to the cops. When lunch was over I was emotionally exhausted and ready to go home, but instead he suggested a walk around town. A walk around town became a movie (we had to drive to 3 different movie theaters in 3 different towns) After the movie he finally brought me home but seemed to have no intention of leaving, which lead to yet ANOTHER walk, followed by awkwardly sitting on my porch for an hour where he tickled me and tricked me into holding hands by comparing our hand-sizes. What I thought would be a fool-proof day date became an 11-hour awkwardfest.
My worst date was with a guy I had liked for ages, we worked together and we were both very shy. One day he finally got up the courage to ask me to go out so we decided to go see a movie. I arrived on time and met him outside the cinema where he’s sat with a big group of girls chatting and acting like he’s the coolest thing since sliced bread (not normally like that). He stands up and is wobbling around and slurring his words. We walk into the theatre and he’s still acting weird so I ask what’s up and he’s like oh nothing i’m cool. Suddenly this really strong smell of alcohol hits me and I realise he’s drunk. I ask and he’s like yeh I took the day off work to get drunk to calm my nerves.. Now I’ve heard of dutch courage with a quick drink but a WHOLE day!?
So we go into the movie and about 10 minutes in he falls asleep, starts snoring loudly. I’m pretty embarrassed. Then he sorta sits up and starts being a little too familiar and trying to laugh and joke. He falls back asleep (perhaps it was actually in and out of consciousness now that I look back on it!?). About half an hour into the movie this guy sits forward suddenly and pukes all over himself. (I am so scared of people being sick it is actually ridiculous!). I jump up and run to the end of the row. I’m calling him to get him to come out and get cleaned up. He’s like no no sit back down and let’s watch the movie, it’s all good. The whole theatre is staring and talking about it. Eventually he stumbles down the row, falling over too. He goes into the rest rooms and I sit and wait outside. Twenty minutes go by and this person walks past and into the bathroom (looks like a guy). I walk downstairs and say my friend is in the rest room, he’s pretty ill, can someone check he’s ok. I turn around to go back upstairs and said ‘guy’ is stood behind me… it was a woman, it was the manager of the theatre. She was not pleased. It turned out he had been sick all over the sinks, the stalls, the floor, the mirrors, the window AND out of the window onto the street below! I do NOT know to this day how he managed to cause that much mess. She asks if he’s my boyfriend, by this point I’m feeling responsible so I say yes. She asks me to go in and get him and I say I really can’t. I ask if I can walk to our work place to get one of the chefs to help me and to call his family to come and get him. I call his house from work and his brother says he’ll come get him. One of my friends walks me back to the theatre teasing me the whole time. We get back and he’s gone…. Turns out he got aggressive and walked out. They didn’t want to stop him. The theatre is on a busy street so now I’m worried he’s wandered out into the traffic. I call his brother until I get an answer and he’s gotten home safe. I went home in shock! I have never experienced anything like that since and I hope I never do again.
He asked me out again after apologising and I just said thanks but no thanks!
My worst first date included him pigging out at a friend’s family tailgate bar-b-q and then cleaning his teeth with his business card – putting it back in his little business card holder – and then giving it to a potential client — all right in front of my eyes and those of my friends! As if that wasn’t bad enough, I stayed with the date to go the football game where I caught him picking his nose. Yuck!
Here’s a funny punchline to the story: he ended up dating a friend of a friend. Boy, I felt sorry for that girl.
these are great!! there are some crazy people out there!
i’m very picky so by the time i get to the point where i’m willing to go on a date with a guy, i’ve done some serious screening first. but a few have gotten through my radar.
the guy was a friend of a friend’s crush. so i hardly knew him. but he’d liked me for 2 years, even though i only saw him every now and then at parties of our mutual friends. he got up the nerve to ask me out, and i thought why not? he picks me up and he says as soon as i get in the car “you look amazing. god i’m so high.” yes, he meant drugs. he laughed so i thought he must be joking. surely he wouldn’t put my life at risk driving while high. i was surely wrong. he could barely walk…i thought he was just tired. he had trouble reading the menu and asked me to order for him. during dinner he spent a lot of time staring off into space and laughing randomly. he had trouble forming complete sentences. when he did speak, he told me about how unfair his last girlfriend was, using him for his landscaping skills and then dumping him. and how he wasn’t over her yet. then he tells me he hadn’t slept yet because he’d been up all night smoking pot with his friends. we were eating lunch. when he dropped me off he wanted to come inside with me. i politely declined. there was no second date. he spent the next few weeks sending me poetry by text and expressing his desire to sleep with me. classy.
Oh my gosh – I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I met a guy once for a coffee date (which I am now convinced is a terrible idea) who decided it was a good idea not to shower that day. He must have been to the gym or out for a run that day too. Oh my! I was so disgusted and distracted and, no surprise, no second date.
I’m not sure that my worst date moves the needle, but after numerous emails and phone conversations we decided a connection was inline. Note* I’m guilty of making sexual innuendos, and she obliged me with equally suggestive comments. ( be careful of what you ask for ) We agree to meet after work, around 6:30 at a classy establishment. With outdoor bar. I saw her first. I should have turned and ran. I arrived at 6:20 ten minutes early. I introduced myself, and asked if I was confused about the time that were we to meet. Being she had a table full of food, empty wine glasses. She said “NO” I got here around 5:30 and was hungry. If I lie shoot me, but she ordered bbq ribs,and had smeared sauce on her blouse. She was sweating, and honestly had the piece of meat caught in her teeth. She was corn feed looked 15yrs older than her profile pic’s. The topper was she insisted that I had invited her out, and should pay for dinner and drinks. I had a ice tea. WOW! $39.00 w/tip. Today she’s my wife. SIKE! lol never talked to her again.
So I met this guy on a site, and we chatted. Had a lot in common. Long phone calls. He actually seemed to have an interest in my line of work, etc. So we decide to meet for a coffee on a weekend. However, he doesnt pick a time. So then he calls me at five in the evening – says he’s running late might be an hour or so away from home. So how about seven? I say okay..Come seven o’clock, he calls to say he’s delayed – how about dinner instead? fast forward to 9:30 – by this time I am starving! He is finally on his way to the pub where we agreed to meet. Its loud in the pub, and one look at him, and he’s way older than his pic! Its crowded and loud, and we finally find a table, where we had to shout to be heard. The pounding of the live band along with my empty and growling stomach gives me a head ache. Its almost ten-thirty and I tell him I’d like some food, if he didnt mind. Of course, nothing is open at this point. We end up in a coffee shop, and have coffee and sandwiches – yeah – dinner, indeed. And this after he tells me he doesnt have a car, and so has to get a cab to go home. I sigh, and offer to drive him home. Then he tries to kiss me.. I tell him no and drive like the devil is after me to get home. He did call after, but I didnt take his calls – especially after he left a message saying he thought it had gone well…! Really!?!
Wow. Reading all of these makes me glad I am still single…..
I was on a dating site and was contacted by a man a few years older than me who had some very attractive photos posted. We communicated for a while and I agreed to meet him for a drink. When I arrived, I was a bit disappointed — it looked as though he was a smaller version of the man in the pics. Turned out those were taken before a very serious motorcycle accident the year before in which he’d almost died. How could I complain? He was very nice though so I accepted a second date. In 10 days we went out on three dates — always to very expensive restaurants at his insistence. When he asked me out again, I told him that we didn’t have to continue to go to such nice places, and that I would be just as happy getting to know him over a beer and a pizza. Instead he suggests I go to his house for dinner. I decline, saying I don’t think we’re quite there yet. He says ok and tells me he’ll be in touch with a plan. The next morning I wake to find an e-mail that he had sent quite late the night before to tell me that he really wants to cook for me and goes on to describe this fabulous meal and a very expensive bottle of wine. The next paragraph begins with “The only thing I ask is that you wear a skirt and some strappy heels and allow me to do whatever I want to you short of consummation.” He went on to describe what he wanted to do to me in very lurid terms. When I wrote back to tell him I was offended by his suggestions, he became quite angry because he had treated me “so well” and accused me of leading him on when I wasn’t attracted to him. Yeah. He had treated me really well for 10 days before suggesting a little S&M. Nice.
My worst date was back in December 2010. Thank fully it was towards the end of the year so I was able to put this behind me very quickly. So I met him online, we had spoken on the phone prior to meeting. I only posted pictures of my face and none of my full body. So he kept asking what I looked like. I guess he wanted to be sure I wasn’t a big girl. Being petite and Latina, I said the closest resemblance I could come up with was Shakira. I told him that I am not an exact replica but close enough. I had a gut feeling that I shouldn’t go and cancel but I ended up going. Not wanting to go in the first place, I did not place much effort in my appearance. So, I wore my work clothes, nothing sexy.
So, I met him at a bar and he gave me a very hesitant hug and led me to the bar where he had been sitting. He drank and I had water. Based on our conversation on the phone, I needed to be alert and on my toes.
As we spoke, he asked me what my favorite body part was. I innocently answered my hair. He said for him was his manliness. He then tried hitting on me by touching my arm. I was very defensive and did not reciprocate. He then continued to tell a story how he”knew” of a couple who had slept the first night they met and lived happily after. I have been dating for years; I was not buying anything this guy was telling me. He asked me where I was from and I said from Mexico and he was from Peru. I guess after a while, I wasn’t stimulating conversation for him; he said I should go back to Mexico and find a man who doesn’t like to think. He was a dentist and told me to lower my standards. But before that, he told me that I looked nothing like Shakira and shouldn’t go around telling men that I look like her. I ended up yelling at him and left. Needless to say, those were the worst 15 minutes I have ever spent with someone. Thankfully, I have such high self-esteem that this did not affect me at all. This is one person’s opinion and not the world’s. Lesson taught; always listen to your gut feeling.
The guy met me wearing really old, crummy, and faded shorts and t-shirt and spent the entire date talking about sex, how horny he was, describing in detail watching squirrels mate, etc. He asked me how long I’d been in my previous relationship. I said 10 years. He said, “Good, at least you’re not frigid.”
What a jerk!
Squirrels? REALLY? Oh Brother.
Several years ago, I was 21 years old, 5’2” tall and 105 pounds – which is bizarrely important. A nice mutual friend of friends asks me out to go on a moonlight sailboat race in the bay, then out to dinner. His coworker owned a racing sailboat and occasionally let his coworkers come along on a race. Sounds nice, right? Moonlight, sailboats, excitement? I told him I’d never been on a sailboat and didn’t know the first thing about what to do and he reassured me we were just passengers so we didn’t have to do anything but sit back and enjoy. I had no idea what to wear, so I asked, and he just told me to dress casual and comfortable since it would be hot being 90+ degrees when we set out at 6:30. So I wore shorts and a tank top and deck shoes.
Cue the Gilligan’s Island music. All was well until the sun went down and the sea spray, wind, and suddenly cooler air chilled me to the bone. I was shivering cold and hungry, and my date just sat there and said and did nothing. I was miserable knowing it would be another hour or more before I could get off that dang boat. In the middle of my misery, the crew has a serious problem. Apparently they couldn’t retract the jib, the big sail hanging out over the front – it was stuck up, because they lost hold of the end of its line and the end went all the way up and got wedged at the top of 40 foot mast. Someone, they said, had to go up the mast and get it unstuck and bring it back down to the deck, pronto. Why the hurry? They couldn’t tack (turn) until the jib was down and with the jib up they’re hurtling full speed across the bay in the dark. We were going to run out of bay and hit ground soon. And all die, presumably. So now I’m terrified as well as freezing. The crew decided that none of them could go up the mast because they all weighed too much for the bosun’s seat that they’d use to haul the poor soul up there. So they asked each passenger their weight! My date finally speaks up and says that I’m the smallest person on the boat, whereupon the captain tells me that I just have to do this or we’re all in big trouble. My date just nods and agrees. In a daze, I went and sat on the darn tiny bosun’s seat, which is really just a plank of wood like a swing. THEN they told me it wasn’t really for hauling me up, it’s just for support if I need to sit and rest while I’m FREE-CLIMBING the mast. They kept reminding me we’re all going to die if I don’t. Meanwhile, I’m wondering why one of the guys isn’t free-climbing the stupid mast and using that tiny seat for rests. Who were these losers?
Somehow, I managed to do get to the top, which is a testament to the power of fear-based adrenaline. Some fool yelled, “Don’t look down.” And I replied, “What?” and looked down. There I was, 40 feet in the air, over the water instead of the deck because the boat was leaning to one side, flying along at top speed, IN THE DARK, and I looked down at those tiny little people and froze in delayed panic. I don’t know how I grabbed the end of that line and got down, because I think I went into some kind of blessed shock. Needless to say, we were way out of the race, having gone so far off course, and too late to find dinner.
Recapping, I was a complete sailboat novice, on a first date, hungry, freezing, in the dark, full speed, middle of nowhere, never climbed a pole in my life, and my DATE volunteered me to risk my life. Next thing I remember clearly is unlocking my apartment door, turning to say bye, and my date laying a huge wet kiss on me and saying he hoped I had a good time despite the whole jib thing. I turned down the next invitation and so lived to tell the tale.
I laughed so much at your date- this has to be the worst I’ve read here because your life was in danger and yet it is at least an amazing experience.
Good for you!
YOU ARE THE BOMB! You sound like me. Most of the time, I’m braver than the men. You have bragging rights in my book. It probably turned you date on!
You are so Brave! I’ve sailed most of my life and what you did was awesome. How they treated you was NOT!
I’ve had 4 “online” dates so far:
1st online date, after exchange of photos,
e-mails and two calls we decide to meet. He was divorced, one child that stayed with him every 2 weekends (this has it’s importance). He had told me that he had been sick for a long time but was working again what he hadn’t told me but I realised when I saw him arrive was that he was partially handicapped and very disorientated… that meeting left me feeling totally awful!
2nd date : ok just no chemistry there whatsoever.
3rd date: Guy says he prefers talking over a nice meal rather than a long exchange of e-mails, after a few text messages and a photo he invites me to a very nice upmarket restaurant. I think he was slightly drunk when he arrived, his hair piece wasn’t glued on straight and he kept trying to put it right. He continued drinking heavily (I was driving so didn’t drink), he leered at other women and kept texting all through the meal, when he ordered a double amaretto I left saying I had to get back to the babysitter…
4th date (yesterday afternoon): I get a message just as I’m trying to un-register from the date site where I met the others, the pics look normal, text normal, nice and polite, sms ensues and the exchange is good. We meet at a small family park, the guy had warned me that he was “intense”, but he basically spent the 1h intensely staring at me in the eyes without blinking… not once! by the end I was totally freaked out! I’m still getting text messages….
I’m thinking of joining a gym…. lol!
I agreed to my very first blind date. It was his first blind date also, so it was literally the blind leading the blind
He had asked me to dinner and told me he would arrive at 7pm to pick me up. He showed up at 7:45pm. Strike uno. He arrived outside my condo and gets out of the car to greet me. As he walks towards me I find it overly obvious and slightly awkward that he is looking at me up and down, trying to get a full body scan as quickly as possible. We get in his car and he says to me “OK, I guess we’ll just go get coffee then” Stunned, shocked, yet not disappointed at all, I agree to simply get coffee. Driving to Starbucks he looks out of the window and says “What a coincidence; there’s the restaurant I was going to take you to dinner.” And YES, this really did happen! True gentleman my buttocks.
I don’t even know which one to begin with…
1) We exchange emails and she quickly says lets meet for lunch and watch football. The photos of her were a bit blurry (important) but I figured, might as well meet. As I walk out of the subway I see a woman who looks like she has a horrible bacterial flesh eating disease. Poor woman, I think to myself, wouldn’t it be funny if this was my date. I get to the place and IT IS MY DATE!! Over lunch, I notice she tried to hide (poorly) the skin issue with 1/2 inch thick cover up and in the heat of the day was MELTING! Yes, her face was melting. I have never ever left a date early and always stuck it out, but this one I had to excuse myself from.
2) Exchanged photos and spoke a bit. She seemed a bit off but still friendly. However, all I ever got were photos of her face (you know, the self photos with a phone). I sit and wait outside the restaurant and a car pulls up and a woman who was approximately 5’1 and 275 lbs gets out. I’m beyond shocked but still stick through the date. 20 minutes into dinner she suggests we go to her place and “play.” I decline and never see her again, though she will e-mail me randomly years later!
3) Another online email exchange that goes well and nice phone calls. On the phone she is very shy, but very nice. We agree to a date. I pick her up and we go into town for dinner. There is a wait, but its a beautiful late spring day so we walk around. As we near a park she gets a text and says to me “hey, so I lent money to a friend last week and he’s in the park right now. Do you mind if we stop by quickly, I don’t know when I’ll catch up with him next.” I’m confused but agree. As we get to the park she stops dead in her tracks and says “don’t come in with me.” I ask why and she says, “see that guy over there?” as she points to a thugged out white guy in a wife beater and a 40oz… “thats my ex bf and he gets mad when he sees me with other guys” I ask how ex he is and she said “about a week.” We had been talking for 5 days! The rest of the date was a blur but it involved cursing, watching a brawl, a pregnant 16 year old, etc. Wow.
4) This one is all of my friends favorites, though its not exactly PG rated. Amazing connection via email and via phone. She is gorgeous, not to mention very much into me. We agree to have a date and the night before she calls me, a bit tipsy (not drunk, just silly) and makes some strong suggestive statements, but underlines that she doesn’t hookup on first dates and that I have to earn her trust. I’m a gentleman and say no problem. I pick her up at her parents house in Long Island, I lived in NJ at the time, (she moved back home to help take care of her sick father) and we go to dinner. Dinner is great. She gets a message from her best friend who’s at a bar across the street and asks if I want to go. Good sign that she’s willing to introduce me to friends. We go, have a drink, and her friends give me a thumbs up. She then says its loud and wants to go somewhere quiet to talk like renting a movie. I say sure lets go back to your place. She says her dads sick and doesn’t want to disturb so she says lets go to her office. She has a dvd player there and goes there when she needs to get away. Weird, but ok. We pull up and she says to park on the side of the building incase her boss drives by, not thinking why her boss would drive by at 10pm on a Saturday. Once inside she puts in the movie and states clearly, kissing is ok but nothing below the waist. Again, a gentleman I say no problem. About 10 min later, we are kissing and she stands up… places the dvd player to the side… AND in one motion SWEEPS everything off her desk and removes her skirt… what…the hell… is going on? She says, “what are you going to do about this?” I think its a test and I sit there not making a move. She persists… until she grabs me and says no more rules. I’m a gentleman, but I was 26 years old at the time with a girl who was a 10 out of 10, there was no resisting. The deed was done (details removed but also hilarious) and after we realize its late and I should drive her home since I lived an hour away in NJ. We get outside and I joke, wouldnt it be funny if my car wasn’t there… and I notice… MY CAR ISN’T THERE!! I panick thinking my car is stolen, but there is no broken glass. Suddenly I see a sign on the wall in the dark alley “No parking after 8pm” I call the tow company and they say it will be $300 to release the car. I say ok, where can I pick it up? They respond that the yard is closed and I must wait until 9am. So I’m stuck in Long Island for the night and my date says “I guess you’re sleeping in the guest room.” We take a taxi and get to her parents house. She opens the door and says “Mom… don’t be mad, but my dates sleeping over.” She comes up with an explanation to my car being towed (leaving out the sex on her desk). Her mom then sits with me for an hour talking in her pajamas, all the while I can’t stop thinking that I’d met her daughter 4 hours ago and already seen her naked. This all being said, craziness and all, I was very much into the girl and didn’t want a one nighter. I asked her for a second date a few days later and she says, and I quote, “I wouldn’t normally do this but you are very nice and deserve to know something..” She then tells me she has a boyfriend and he cheated on her and I was the “revenge”… Lesson learned: FACEBOOK friend the person before meeting and look at their relationship status!!!
I met a guy at a local mexican place and he faked a phone call from his daughter saying she had a wreck and he had to go. Never heard from him again but that’s okay, His loss!
First date did the same thing, then used it as the excuse for not having a car later( it’s in the shop etc) then didn’t know if his insurance paid for a rental because his ex-wife handles all that. Asked me to take him to the beer distributor for a case of beer. No thanks, I’m good.
honestly my firs dating so trouble Because I didn’t have anything to say because In my eyes , she was perfect
I had a date where he asked the waitress for her number, after harassing her the whole time. Nah, not again.
I met this woman Gina, we were both in our 40′s. She was a drug and alcohol counselor for the county. I went to her house, 4 nice daughter’s from 17 to 2 years old. The 17 year old had her own daughter 2 years old. Her mother was there to watch the kids the 17 year old was leaving. Grandma says…. Gina when are you going to get married to one of these men you have had children with…. Gina tells grand ma to shut up. I look at Grandma smile, look at Gina smile again. Back and forth they go about Gina needing to get a man and get married. Now Gina was actually a very good looking woman, educated, and the fact she wasn’t ever married with 4 children with 4 different fathers was troubling.
I stepped onto her carpet to pick up a bag of something she was taking along on our date. Suddenly Gina screamed at Grandma, Damn it Ma, you want me to get a man and get married but they are nothing but a bunch of little kids, look at the mess he made.
I stood there in her living room in complete shock to what had just happened. I turned around and here at where I first stepped onto her white carpet was a spot of possibly road tar, I must have picked up on my shoe when I got out of my car at the street.
I apologized to her for what had happened and asked her where her cleaning supplies were. I went and got them from below her kitchen sink and took a brush and scrubbed her carpet until it came clean, as this woman was quite upset. I got all the dirt out of the carpet back to looking white again, with Gina’s final approval. She couldn’t believe I did that for her. I put her cleaning supplies away.
Grandma then asked me where Gina and I were going, I told Grandma I was going home, and Gina could go where she wanted. I told Grandma it was obvious to me that Gina had her hands full with 4 kids, she didn’t need me as a 5th kid to make things worse for her. I bid them both good bye, and started to leave. As I was leaving Grandma started ripping into Gina, there you go chasing another one away, and Gina said me, look at you ma and what you said in front of him.
There is a moral to this story, If a woman is so rude to you at the onset, she will never have any respect for you through out an entire marriage. I would NEVER treat a prospective date that way. Leave now cut your losses. I traveled 50 miles to meet this woman, 9 years later I still laugh about the experience. You had to be there!
RUN! RUN! RUN!..FASTER!
I’m sorry to all of you how have had bad experiences… but thank you for making my day. lol. I’ve only been on one first date and it was actually kind of fun, we didn’t go out again but it was still nice.
I’m kind of looking forward to dating now that I’m 23 and not dating my “high school sweetheart”
I might actually meet someone that wants to spend time with me. And if these stories are any indication, finding that someone is going to be an adventure. 
As a 36 yr old single male, I’ve been on quite a few dates in the past twenty years. I’ve got tons of stories like these, so I love reading all of yours.
I shower and get cleaned up for dinner. She declines to shower. I stay the night. Brush my teeth before bed. She doesn’t. She still doesn’t shower. In the AM, after some more sweaty fun, I shower and brush my teeth before we go out to breakfast. She neither showers or brushes her teeth. After breakfast – another round in the bedroom, more sweat, no shower, same clothes back on. This cycle repeats a dozen times over the weekend. Sweaty fun, break for meals, no shower for her. In three days she made no effort to get clean, and never brushed her teeth. Honest to god, she was starting to smell. Fine if we’re camping, not fine if we’re in the house! She tried for a final round of sex before I hit the road. I thought, “Ok, what the hell”.
Which one to choose? I’ve had the obvious ones, like the girl who described herself as “petite”, but was 6’2″, and tried to shrink down in her seat to match my height. Or the one who, after five months of phone calls, forgot to mention that she was a “little person”, only 3 feet tall. Petite indeed! ( I would have still met either of them, just the inaccuracy is funny.)
How about all the girls that claimed to have superpowers? There have been dozens of those. I’m not speaking of “women’s intuition”, I’m talking about levitation, interdimensional travel, healing and regenerative abilities, communication with animals, etc.
One woman that I met on EH, claimed to have traveled via the astral plane to my house in the middle of the night to have sexual relations with me while I was asleep. Doors and walls and hundreds of miles posed no obstacle for her. She then proceeded to critique my “performance”, and explain why I had no memory of the act.
Another EH match who actually was at my house, peed on my dishes. Yes, really. In my kitchen sink. I have no idea why. The toilet was right down the hall! I caught her in the act. She first denied it, then claimed she was sleepwalking, then hid her face in her hands and turned beet red. What the heck? lol
It gets better! The best stories are too raunchy for this forum, but let me try to find a relatively clean one.
I met a girl on EH, and drove several hours to meet her for dinner for our first date. We had established a good connection via phone and email prior to arranging this date. There definitely seemed to be long term potential. The intent was just dinner, then to drive home. I show up at her house sweaty from the long hot drive, and ask if I can grab a shower before we head out to the restaurant. No sooner am I in the door, than she begins acting very seductively. Which did have the desired effect. The shower is forgotten, dinner is forgotten, and we get down to several rounds of very enthusiastic, sweaty, heart pounding sex. I’d say this first date is going pretty well so far.
Then I changed my mind. When the undergarments came off, the smell of a dirty diaper filled the room. I kid you not! Seriously. WTH? I left quickly.
Beieve it or not, this was a “clean” story! lol
I’m fairly new to the dating world after being married for 19 years. After reading these stories, it kind of made me chuckle to think “I” may have been the bad date in two instances.
1. Bad date #1- I couldn’t parallel park my car to save my life, so I asked my date if he could do please park it for me. I wasn’t surprised when I he sent me an email the next day, letting me now that he didn’t think it would work out and he wished me luck. I told him I appreciated his honesty.
2. Bad date #2- I fell asleep during a movie. I had so much going on; caring for my mother who had just had surgery, staying up until 3:00 a.m. writing research papers for school, that by the night of my date, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to cancel and seem flakey. I ended up being friends with this guy, and we still communicate to this day.
I’m still learning as I go…. in the meantime, I try to pick restaurants where I don’t have to parallel park and make sure I get plenty of rest or drink lots of coffee before a date.
As my date & I are looking at the menus, getting ready to order, he notifies me that it was his ‘budget week’. I paid. Then I left.
I recently agreed to meet someone after email and phone calls over a month. Guy said he was 6 foot tall, watched what he ate, worked out, etc. As I pulled into the restaurant I saw this guy hobbling across the parking lot, hunched over with a paunch like my grandpa. I’m a few yards behind him as I walk toward the front door and I’m hoping he’s not the one leaving the overwhelming trail of cologne. No such luck. This guy lied about his height by at least 4 inches,obviously did not work out. He did watch what he ate as he moved the fatty food he ordered from the plate to his mouth. And I’m pretty sure he lied about his age too. THEN, he gives me an unsolicited hug when we part which transfers the cologne stench onto me and my car stunk for 2 days. Ughhhh!
I met a guy at a club and he seemed really fun and arranged to meet him again the following night.
But he turned up for the date steaming drunk unshaved and unwashed, i still didn;t give up even then. He was taking me to the local rugby club, but they wouldn’t let him in because he was banned having given lots of offensive abuse to he president’s wife. he kicked up a fuss at the door but they made us move on. Then he tried to make me come back to his communal barrack room (he was in the air force) and I said, that isn’t allowed is it? and he said no.
At this point my patience snapped and I’m afraid I laid into him verbally and walked off leaving him in tears.
I have had a lot of bad dates many similar to the ones posted here. I usually try to screen them by having them stop by my work with it being a public place. We can chat and I can throw them out if necessary.
The latest guy showed up looking like he hadn’t showered this year smelling like it too. His pants were brown with dirt, and he told me how his brother was mad he wore a wife beater to his niece’s graduation party. I of coursed asked if he showed up to that with clean clothes. He said his shirt he only wore a few times and jeans, they never get dirty. Thank god I got a phone call and asked him to leave because ‘the district manager was going to stop by’. He texted me for a few days after that telling me how beautiful I was and saying we should go out again, I respectfully declined.
One date I went on I feel kind of bad. He tells me he is in the mood for shots, I say I know a place we can go and it’s quiet. So we head to a dive bar in my town, he was polite and super nice. We were getting along great. Then some old lady comes up to me and starts asking if my name was Jessica and once sold cars. I am Jessica and I did once sell cars. I said yes, hesitantly but she proceeded to give me a hug and tell me she worked in the office. I was a little shocked and so was he, this lady was plastered. We decide to go out for a smoke. Its 12pm we see these 10 year olds climbing a fence, I just hoot at them playing and he yells to them “go to bed its past your bedtime”. Then out of no where this random guy runs up full speed and punches my date in the face knocking him too the ground. The random guy yells “You don’t talk to my kids!!” and ran away. My date had the beginning of a shiner. We went in to the bar to get some ice. It so happened that there was a birthday party in the back room. The guy and his kids were attending. The bar tender and my date decide to storm the party looking for this random guy. I tag along because I want to see whats going to happen. They push and shove all the guys in there but fail to find the perpetrator. So he decides it would be best to go to the bar across the street and drive there. I said really we can walk. But he insisted. We go over to the next parking lot and he proceeds to whip out his pierced you know what! I was shocked and asked him to put it away. We went in for one drink and it was closing time soon. He dropped me off at my house. And I would have to say that was one of my worst dates. I think he thought he deserved something after getting punched in the face.
Another date I had was so sad. I never really got too far past the screening processes. He showed up at my work gave me a hug, he looked nothing like his pictures. He then started to inform me that he had contracted a flesh eating disease of the anus. I was like what? I asked if he was ok. He informed me he is good now but he has a colostomy bag.(poop bag) I felt so bad so I talked to him for a few days after but asked if we could just be friends. He declined saying if he cant have it all he will have nothing.
One date I went on I was a jerk. I have been a jerk but this is my past. I exchanged emails with this guy and he seemed normal. We texted and decided to meet at a local pub. He said in text we should bring friends.We met at this pub he walked up to my car and speaking in broken English says something, I am not sure what. I tell him we should go to the restaurant down the street instead. He had a stained white t shirt on with shorts that went to his ankles. We went there and he had no friend. My friend and I sit there feeling so awkward so we order water. He couldn’t speak english at all but was fine expressing himself through email and text. He had missing teeth the ones that were left looked like they had never been brushed. My friend and I decided it was best we left. I texted my pal and asked her to call me, we said we needed to go because her dad was drunk or something stupid. I gave no impression we were coming back. I get a text an hour later asking if I was coming back. I said sorry but couldnt and he asked if I wanted to go out again, I declined.
Wow there are some doozies on here. It seems to me that bad dates happen to the same people over and over. It’s amazing what random things people find acceptable to do on a date. I guess when that person finds the right one it’s just going to click though! Alright on to my worst date.
Sadly, this was just a few weeks ago. It was the fourth date and I was getting pretty tired of waiting for him to kiss me, so I suggested we have a movie night in. We went out to dinner before hand and then went back to his place. As we were driving from dinner my stomach started to get upset, I decided to ignore it for the time being. We got back to his place and picked out a movie, I had no idea what any of his movies were so I let him choose. The movie he picked out had shooting and these little kids dying. I love action but this movie made me so sad that I started to cry. At this point his stomach started to get upset from dinner and he left me sitting on the couch for half an hour. I understand an upset stomach is an upset stomach but I get awkward quite easily so a half hour alone in someone else’s house was making me a little uncomfortable. So he comes back and then is just sitting on the couch again, the movie is over at this point, with no kissing. So basically, I jump him. What ends up occurring is him eating my face. When he finally decides to take a breather he tells me I have such a small mouth. I’m not sure what the proper response to that is, if anyone does I’d be interested to hear. So at that point I decide to just go with the flow, maybe he’s just overly enthusiastic. Well he starts to kiss my neck and all of a sudden, he bites! Not a nibble, a full on bite. I guess I wiggled or made some noise but he looked up at me so proud of himself and says, “I know how to treat my woman.” First, who’s your woman? I know he wasn’t talking about me especially after only four dates. Second that ffing hurt! So I start to go through all of the excuses I can come up with, my stomach is really upset, I have to meet someone early tomorrow, I’m getting really tired… He just doesn’t accept any of them and during this time has bitten my ear, my lips, and my tongue. It was awful. I finally convinced him to take me back to my apartment and to let me go in alone. So after looking at the individual tooth bruises on my neck, I was sitting on my bed trying to decompress when my throat started to close up. I’m allergic to mint so I started to think back on the night to try and figure out when I might have eaten mint when I remembered that he had been popping breath mints all night and I was literally having an allergic reaction to his kissing. Most of the evening wasn’t his fault but I took it as an indicator from the universe that this was the wrong guy.
Worst date ever? Sadly it was with my current gf. On our first date, he went to a bar with her cousin. Nice chat, and everything… Then suddenly 3 guys (Jersey-Shore look alike) came. She knew one of those guys. To make it shorter, she got drunk and hook up with that guy on the second floor, and then came back like nothing happened.
And what r u doing with her still???
Wow. I am glad to know that I am not alone in the bad date category. My mother says that it takes all kinds and that I have dated all of them!
I think my worst date would actually be a non-date. I was going to a local coffee house to meet a guy I had met online. He had posted three photos but was wearing a hat in two of them and looked fairly different in all of them. I arrived at the coffee house and approached a guy I thought looked like the one I was supposed to meet. When I asked him if he was my date he said no and smiled. I went back to the entrance to wait for my date. The guy I had approached finished his coffee and left a few minutes later. After waiting another ten minutes I gave my date up for lost and went home.
Later that day I checked my e-mail and had a message from my date saying that he couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognized him and that it is all right anyway because he didn’t find me attractive at all. Turns out the guy I had approached was my date after all.
The guy start having war flashbacks
That’s when YOU jump in the foxhole-LOL!
I had met this guy at church. He seemed nice enough so when he called and asked me out I agreed. He took me to one of those farms that let you walk around and see all the animals. the problem was that it was mid october and cold and rainy and even the animals prefered to be inside. He talked non stop and as we were heading for the car and I was congratulating myself on having gotten through the evening he informs me that it was the first part of the date and for the second part we were going to go to a reunion of some kind. Its more than an hours drive away and when we get there not only do I not know anyone but everyone there assumes that we must be either married or dating seriously. I informed multiple people that it was in fact our first date when they asked how long we had been together. He leaves me chatting with total strangers while he hangs out with his friends. Then after an hour or so he finally says its time to go. we got in the car and he told me that we still have the final portion of the date to go. I almost groaned out loud but agreed. (although I should have stood up for myself and asked him to take me home)
The night only got worse when I discovered that the final part of the evening was to go to his parents hotel room again a good 30 min drive and meet them. When we get there it is almost midnight and they are in bed. We sit there talking with them until I cant hardly keep my eyes open any longer and then he finally took me home. It was all I could do to stay awake on the long drive back.
Worse date ever and massive waste of my time
Met a french-canadian guy(this is important) online and while he seemed incredibly interesting thru email and IM apart from some rather strange questions such as “and where is mexico anyway? europe?(this should have been a hint) , first time on the phone he replies to everything with monosyllables, to then confess that his mastery of the english language was merely written and that he could barely utter a word of english, me being mexican, understood the difficulty of trying to convey ideas in a different language so i managed to look past that and kept a great relation (more friendship but with definite touches of romanticism and sexual innuendo), for about a year we talked and discovered we had a lot of common ground and that we could barely notice any cultural difference. Finally the long-desired day got here and he announced he would be coming to winter in mexico, he said he would be coming to see me where i lived in the beach, to which i replied… i live in mexico city nowhere near a beach, a fact he had managed to overlook for a year even tho´he had made me learn some facts and details about Quebec and Canada.
When he finally got here i decided to forgive and forget (on account of a year-long relation and the physical attraction i felt towards him) he was 6´2,athletic, with a lovely complexion and beautiful dark eyes and hair. And for about a day it all went swimmingly, i managed to show him some places, to which he replied… “so, to which indian tribe do you belong to?” and then later on that same day went on to saying how southamerica was a beautiful place to which i said… oh ever been there?? and he answered… “well yes of course, mexico is in southamerica” one would think being only a country away… and again i managed to look past it… and then he starts talking (quite suddenly) about how white women are all a bunch of frigid b**** and that he wouldn´t mind getting a (and i quote) bimbo hot latina housewife to give him lots of brown babies and to tend to the house and his needs, a girl he would pamper with money as long as he could get her pregnant as often as he wanted… to which i just stared, blood frozen and blinking. I just couldn´t believe anyone could be so rude, he must have taken my silence as agreeing cuz he then said, since ur from a poor country marry me and ill give u my citizenship if u marry me and obey me always….
There was just so many things wrong with all of this, marriage being one but the lowest on the list, as he was just 19 and i was 14 (i was only looking for friends) and all the racist crap that came from his mouth was just…. flabbergasting. I got up and left him right there and vowed to never talk to him again. Shame it took a year to realise what kind of man he was cuz when he actually revealed himself for who he was i couldn´t help but feeling a bit heartbroken. This was just in early december 2011 and he still calls and sends emails begging for a second chance.
Last time i go for a guy who calls me “exotique”
Wait, are you really 14? Or was that a typo?
I am not in the habit of calling people out, but if you are a girl barely in her teens, you need some wisdom. First, you’re lucky that creep didn’t get you alone in a back alley somewhere. Second, there is no such thing as “just friends” if there is also sexual innuendo. Watch When Harry Met Sally. Immediately. Third, don’t even go on dates until you’re at least 18. You only think you know yourself when you’re younger than that, but you never really do. Some people should never date at all, ever! 
Good luck, and never stop being exotic – just let it age a little.
No, no typo, I´m really 14. And well yes, now i realise it wasnt really friendship and that he was playing me from the start. And trust me, my mom just gave me the world´s biggest time out for gettin into that mess, no more dating for me for at least a couple of years. I watched the movie (When Harry met Sally) and omg was it funny! But I most definately understood your point. I guess next time a guy calls me exotique i´ll just have to make sure he means it well and not in the creepy sort of way.
This was my first – ever – eHarmony date. We set up the date by emailing back and forth. I recall I mentioned I would like to meet ealier like 6-7, he mentioned 8-9. We eneded up agreeing to 9 PM on a Monday evening. Okay… So it is date night, yes – Monday evening and he shows up 20 minutes late. I took the higher road and continued with the date chat of who, what, where, when, etc. I think I left him a good impression and he contacted me the following evening at 11:30 PM to hang out. LOL! I guess there needs to be some bad ones before a better one comes around.
Twas a blind date, and the only thing he talked about was how broken hearted he was over losing his girlfriend. Nice.
Technically, this was a second date, but it was pretty awesome. We’ll call the guy in question John. John works days on a job where I work weekends, and we’d crossed paths for a few months. He finally asked me out. First date was just a quick drink and a 30 minute sitcom at his place down the street. We had great conversation, I was intrigued by this cute older guy who seemed really sweet. So far, things seemed grand. THE date was supposed to be a nice steak dinner, movie and hang out time. I was excited about a chance to really talk, connect, maybe cuddle on the couch a little. So I get to his house, had brought half a bottle of Bacardi with me. He decides half a bottle isn’t nearly enough (??) and says we need to make a trip to the liquor store. Ok…. so we go. He goes in ahead of me and doesn’t hold the door. Walks ahead of me the whole time and talks to the clerk, but I may as well have not been there. We get back to his place, I try to start conversation. Conversation is not possible when the question asked gets a one word response. No follow up, no “how about you”, no nuthin. Definitely not the charmer he had been via text and facebook! There were these long stretches of uncomfortable silence while he messed around with the grill. Before you, dear reader, gets judgy, let me just tell you that I am tall, slender, and hot. I get told fairly often that I’m downright beautiful, sexy, fill in the blank. I’m not some plain chick who feels lucky to get a date, here! Where was I… OK, I’ll break it down into facts. Learn from this, boys. Don’t. Ever. Do. These. Things: He chain smoked, and turned the fan on so there was absolutely no escape from the stench (he knows I’m not a smoker). He talked baby talk to his cats. He talked to me while he was in the bathroom peeing. We watched a 2 hour movie, every five minutes he made some comment about how hot the actress was, how he wanted to f*** her, what he wanted to do to her, etc. He didn’t seem to understand why I was not taking notes. He sat on the other end of the sofa and stuck his smelly bare feet in my lap. He flossed in the living room and LEFT it on the COFFEE TABLE. He took off his shirt, went into the bedroom, brought a different shirt out and put it on three times. They were all virtually identical t-shirts that had nothing wrong with them. WTH?!!? He drank my entire bottle of rum before opening his own and downing a good portion of that, getting sloppy stupid drunk in the process. He whined like a child if he wanted me to do something for him, even if it was something as dumb as holding a plate out to put the meat on. He asked over and over and over if I liked the steak (it was the one part of the night I DID like), and never seemed to believe me when I said I did. Finally he put some awful music video on and played air guitar with eyes closed for a ridiculously long time. This guy was 34. He was old enough to know better. And he is DUMBFOUNDED by the fact that he’s still single!!! I stopped returning his texts after that night and he told my weekend boss that I was moving to another city and was going to quit (I’d told him once that I MIGHT be moving but that it wasn’t confirmed), and I almost got fired because my boss believed him. Don’t date co-workers. Ever ever ever ever.
Man told me he was on anti-psychotics because of a brain tumor when he was younger…was having problems with his ex – he admitted to me that he told her that if something should “happen” to her the courts would let him off because of his medication!
Is that real??? That is the most hillarious thing I have ever heard. I am rolling in laughter. Poor you , but it is what movies are made of.
My worst on-line date was the date that never happened! Met a guy, turned out we knew someone in common, his sister-in-law- so I thought that was good start.
We emailed and then he said I would really like to talk- ok he calls but turns out he is at work and really can’t talk on phone, so is whispering, hangs up several times and said I will call you right back. Then he is in parking lot talking to me and then has to go back into work. The next day he calls while getting his coffee out- but had to hurry to get to work. It was ridiculous but I let it go by.
Now he really wants to meet- I say ok when, where? Well his son is a waiter at nearby restaurant. I say well I don’t think that is such a good idea, your son being there. Once again- ok well I can’t talk right now to figure out so I will call you back. Calls back- yes let’s meet Sat ok. I already had said ok. There is still no plan.
Then the conversation gets weird, oh want to ask you if your hair is real? Really? I am like what do you mean- my photos are completely current- that is how I look. But then I recall his photo – just one – a professional studio picture and something seems off. I say what about your pic- oh yeah not real current but I do still look like that. Ok let that go by too.
We go back to let’s meet this weekend. Once again – ok I will have to call you back. He calls me back 2 hours later – which is now 10:30pm and says – I am sitting in the parking lot of restaurant where my son works- can you swing by now to meet. I say no – sorry that really doesn’t work, we were discussing meeting SATURDAY- you know – a plan.
Ok I will call you again to set something up tomorrow. He then calls me says – oh I forgot I have to go away for the weekend – I promised my ex-g/f I would install some cabinets in her kitchen. We are just good friends now. You forgot you “had” to go away ? An ex? Really ? All too bizarre now.
Now I am 100% done & out. He calls me again -I don’t answer. Then he calls 3 or 4 more times leaving messages and starts IM’ing me, where are you? You are the one person I really, really want to meet, call me back now, I am really waiting to hear from you. Stalking! I knew he knew where I lived because of the person we knew in common. Then I finally just blocked him in all ways, locked down my house, was totally freaked out. And he did disappear.
There was no indication in his profile and 1st few emails what a total weirdo he was. And that was after 5 or 6 other bad, bomb on-line dates as others have described- people you can’t even recognize from their photos, weird conversations etc.
Yes, Josmar, this is what movies are made of but many situations like this are not even funny. They are dumb and awkward.
Although I am not dating anymore I can’t stop wondering about what these people are thinking when they decide to meet dates. I have had many terrible dates with men I met through e-Harmony and Match.com. These two services attract customers who lack basic social skills. Number one is the doctor who makes tons of money and drives fancy cars but takes me for shopping to the Dollar Store with the explanation “this is my favorite store and you are a cheap date”. This was our second date actually. There were a couple of more disasters dates. I knew we were going nowhere but was curious to see what else the jerk would come up with. Like we went for a walk in the park and he accidentally stepped on a dog’s poo. We smelt it when we got back in the car, and his comment was, ‘oh, it could not be me, it is you’. You should have seen his face when he realized that it was on his shoe. Or we went for dinner to a small neighborhood restaurant and he concentrated on finding negative things about the place, the service and the food. The restaurant was his idea but he kept whining the whole time we were there. Once we went to a casino, and the jerk lost. Then he disappeared without an explanation – stopped calling and replying to my messages. Two months later he had the nerve to email me back: ‘hopefully you are not too mad’. I never replied.
There must be something wrong with MDs because I had a date with another unbelievably cheap one. We met for a coffee, and then decided that we were both hungry and went to a nearby place for food. He let me pay for my own coffee that cost a dollar and half, and I had to pay for the food for both of us because it was my idea and he was ‘on budget’. There was never a second date.
A friend of mine also met an MD (Match.com) and they realized that they were going to the same gym. The first date was at the gym. They worked out together and decided to eat something after. The doctor had conveniently left his wallet in his sports! car and my friend who was a student at the that time had to pay for the food.
1) She was 20 mins late
2) She was 30 lbs heavier than her pics and claimed only 10. I said nothing.
3) Her pick of meeting place was closed due to a private party, but I got the mngr to seat us alone.
4) Her opening question was, “So, why did your marriage fail? Did you cheat on her?”.
5) After 20 mins of her interrogating me, I put down 1/2 the bill for our drinks, told her this was not going to go anywhere, got up and bailed.
Our phone conversations up to this point were scintillating and I could not reconcile the experience.
My worst first date was with a man who has been a close friend ever since. 17 years ago. He just wouldn’t talk! It was like pulling teeth!!! We never dated again, until his wife lent him to me on valentine’s day right after I split from my husband….he wouldn’t shut up at that point! lol
Ok, I flew to another state for a 3 day date, to get to know him after 3 months of communicating daily. We had arranged seperate rooms, etc.
I had a 6 hour drive to the airport, then a 2 hour flight. The day before, I had been bucked off of a horse and stomped on. I did not want to “whine”, so I went to my rheumatologist and got a steroid-cocktail joint injection in my neck on my way to the airport. But the doc hit a vein and the injection went wrong, VERY wrong.
By the time I got off the plane, I had a hematoma the size of a bunch of bananas on my arm, filled with blood and my body reacted to the steroids. I could actually feel my legs SWELLING on the plane as we gained altitude. My pants felt tight when I deboarded. I felt like a stuffed Brautwurst.
He was waiting downstairs at the airport to greet me. I used the restroom to try and regroup. I grabbed some hair spray (I have really long hair and it normally gets compliments) and I sprayed away to spruce up with a conditioner product.
I had grabbed this moroccon oil spray I use which is awesome, makes your hair really shiny. But the minute after I used it, my head started to tingle, my scalp started burning.
I had grabbed the bottle on the way out of my ranch. My uncle had been staying with me, he had just gotten hair transplants and he put his hair transplant medicine in one of my empty spray bottles because he was hiding the fact from all the “guys” on the ranch that he got transplants. He had tossed his med bottle to hide the evidence. That stuff is TOXIC for normal hair, it is only to be used with that medical procedure.
My hair immediately started falling out after I sprayed it and it turned an UGLY orangish/dirty greasy like state. (I have dark hair)
I was still determined to soldier on! I threw my hair in a bun. I put on a brave face. The phone rings and it is him downstairs saying he has been waiting for 30 minutes. Fighter Pilots are punctual; I knew I was in trouble.
On the way down to greet him I got a call, it looked like I would be working at the same military base as he was stationed and my contract forbids me to date anyone I work with, ever. My heart sank. Yet HIS heart sank even more when he greeted me. He looked utterly disgusted by me:-)
I gracefully met him. He stared at my hair allot and looked shocked. I made it one night. I was in so much pain in my arm and neck and my scalp was burning.
It went from bad to worse. I kept my arm covered, I tried a light hike with him, etc. fully clothed with long sleeves on a hot day. All my clothes were tight, I was swollen. ugh. Finally after less than 24 hours I asked for a ride to the airport.
He is a Colonel now and I am slated to start a project at his base this summer. To say I looked like death warmed over, is an understatement. At one point, he even asked me “if I wanted to wash my hair”. It was a disaster. He has no idea of anything I’ve told you. On his side, he just said he was “not feeling it for me” and he was greatly dissappointed.
Honestly, I was thinking that my arm needed to be amputated and I am not a whimp. I had a serious issue going on; besides the scalp ordeal.
I think I am just going to shake his hand when I walk into his office this summer and pretend that date never happened. He may not even recognize me?
Worst Date ever.
I have 2 – The first,a handsome guy from a dating site asks me to dinner and we meet at modest restaurant for dinner, after having talked for a few weeks via webcam. As we sit down and open our menus, he informs me that it is his ‘budget week’. Does that mean I should only order soup? A snack? a cola? lol
The 2nd was another dating site catastrophe. After speaking over the phone and exchanging pics, the person I met turned out to be a woman half way thru a sex change. No, the photos she sent were not of her.
Oh wait, there’s a 3rd – I meet up with a handsome landscaper I had met in the neighborhood. After ordering a drink before dinner, he tells me he already ate earlier because he was hungry and should we just go for a drive and ‘have some fun’? Erm, no.
On a bad stretch with my last 3.
The worst:
She requests to go straight to email, then first email is asking my phone #. Warning sign right there, but I thought what the heck so I give it. She calls me about an hour later, and after about literally 2 minutes of small talk she asks that I come meet her. She’s doing a pool tournament and wants me to come by, I say sure, and when I try for more conversation she says she has to go. So I meet her at the pool tournament, she introduces me over to a group of friends then walks away to practice pool. I wait patiently while I watch her play pool (she comes over and says maybe 2 sentences to me the whole night). After about 2 hours of this the pool tournament is over, she starts walking out with her friends. I awkwardly follow (not sure what else to do) and she turns towards me, waves, and says, “nice meeting you!”. Never heard from her again.
Next one:
First two dates are great. One warning sign comes up, she tells me she has a daughter but let her parents raise her, and the whole family tells the daughter that she is her “sister”. Being a psychology major with a child development focus, I am thinking that is so wrong on so many levels, but I don’t say anything. Third date she decides she wants me to meet her friends. We all go downtown, 3 couples. Her friends are complete opposites of me, I’m a city boy and her friends are total country. I have very little conversation with them, and even less with her. The next day she breaks up with me over email, stating “I remind her too much of her father.” ???
Last one:
Total alcoholic, but we have a lot in common besides that. First date goes great. 2nd date is downtown and she is 45 min late, no apology, but the date does go well. 3rd date she cancels because she says she’s sick (probably hung over) and we do it the following weekend. Next date she cancels again (this time admitting to being hung over). During conversation we talked about relationships, she tells me she has had no serious relationships in her life (she’s 38, decent looking). Warning bells scream at me, but I like her so I ignore it. Finally after a very awkward next date at her house watching TV she cancels our plans for the following day over text. Wasnt too upset other than I attended alone (with 2 tickets).
Moral of the story, listen to those warning bells people!